NORTHERN LIGHTS!
by KT8812
Summary: This is an Edward/OFC story. Bella dies at the end of 'New Moon' when she jumps off the cliff. This story is about Edward encountering her scent fifteen years later, only to find that the scent does not belong to Bella, but someone else.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I simply enjoy tormenting them with my wicked plots.

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Author's note:** _This story takes off from the point in 'New Moon' where Bella jumps off the cliff in La Push. The prologue has been taken verbatim from Stephanie Meyer's 'New Moon'._

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**BPOV**

Keep swimming!" Edward begged urgently in my head.

_Where_? There was nothing but the darkness. There was no place to swim to.

"Stop that!" he ordered. "Don't you dare give up!"

The cold of the water was numbing my arms and legs. I didn't feel the buffeting so much as before. It was more of just dizziness now, a helpless spinning in the water. But I listened to him. I forced my arms to continue reaching, my legs to kick harder, though every second I was facing a new direction. It couldn't be doing any good. What was the point?

"Fight!" he yelled. "Damn it, Bella, keep fighting."

_Why?_

I didn't want to fight anymore. And it wasn't the light-headedness, or the cold, or the failure of my arms as the muscles gave out in exhaustion, that made me content to stay where I was. I was almost happy that it was over. This was an easier death than others I'd faced. Oddly peaceful.

I thought briefly of the clichés, about how you were suppose to see your life flash before your eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun, anyway? I saw _him_, and I had no will to fight. It was so clear, so much more defined than any memory.

My subconscious had stored Edward away in flawless detail, saving him for this final

moment. I could see his perfect face as if he were really there; the exact shade of his icy skin, the shape of his lips, the line of his jaw, the gold glinting in his furious eyes. He was angry, naturally, that I was giving up. His teeth were clenched and his nostrils flared with rage.

"No! Bella, no!"

My ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I'd forgotten what real happiness felt like.

Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.

The current won at that moment, shoving me abruptly against something hard, a rock

invisible in the gloom. It hit me solidly across the chest, slamming into me like an iron bar, and the breath whooshed out of my lungs, escaping in a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water flooded down my throat, choking and burning. The iron bar seemed to be dragging me, pulling me away from Edward, deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.

_Goodbye, I love you_, was my last thought.

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Statutory warning:** This story is a WIP, which had already been posted up to nineteen chapters, before I removed it for editing purposes.

For anyone who is new to the story, it will bode well for you to know that this is an Edward/OFC story. For anyone who cannot imagine Edward to be with someone other than Bella, beware! This story is not meant for you.

For open-minded people who are looking for something new, welcome!

For all those of you who were already following my story, welcome back and thank you for all your support! You are the reason I wanted to make this story better.

Love,

Katty.


	2. Chapter 1: The Loss

EPOV:

"She's dead Edward. Gone. She jumped off a cliff. That thankless little cretin killed herself after all you did to keep her alive. You really should come back to us now. There's nothing left to protect now. We can finally be the family we were once again."

Time stopped.

For once in my miserable existence, the voices in my head fell quiet. There was no sound. My world went black. There was nothing.

I don't know how long I had stayed like that when her words came back to me.

She's dead Edward. Gone. Bella… Bella… and then as if resurfacing from the blackest depths of the hungry ocean, the numbness parted and my senses came back.

NO! NO! Not Bella, not _my_ Bella.

"Edward… Edward you there?"

"You are lying!" I exploded.

I couldn't believe Rosalie. Was she a fool? Did she really think she could fool me into coming back by such a pathetic lie? The idea was absurd.

How could Bella, my Bella die? How could something so sweet and wonderful and miraculous die? Were angels capable of dying? Ha! I had caught Rosalie in her flimsy attempt to get me home.

Bella was not dead, because the only people who were capable of bringing her any harm were far away from her.

I was far away from her. And at that moment, every mile that was between Bella and me made its presence felt. When I was with her, I couldn't be close enough to her and the distance apart from her was killing me. But I welcomed my pain because that meant that she was safe… that she was fine.

"Edward she's dead! Alice saw her jump off a cliff. Stop being childish and come home right now!" Rosalie fumed.

Now I was really mad. "Go to hell Rosalie… she's fine and I am not coming back. Did you really expect me to believe that? You are really useless."

"Edward, listen to me. She's…"

I cut her off.

I really did not have any time to listen to her rants. All I wanted was to get back to my Bella. Or rather her memories, for that was all there was left to carry me through my miserable endless half-life. I closed my eyes and curled up into a ball.

I recalled every inch of her flawless face, which was etched, into my memory. The pale skin, the full lips, the wonderful blush ghosting her cheeks and finally… her eyes… those warm brown depths of endless love and compassion.

I started going through my life since the day I met her.

Her scent… oh God! Her scent! Freesia and lavender…The way she hated being the center of attention on her first day, her clumsiness, her saying my name in her sleep, our first conversation from biology, her fainting during blood typing, the conversation we had during the first lunch we shared at school, the dinner in Port Angeles.

Her discovery of what I was and her ability to love me despite that, our first time in the meadow, the way her fingers caressed my cold granite skin, the first time I ran with her on my back, our first kiss when she almost attacked me, her saying "I love you" in her sleep, the first time she met my family, the way we kissed just before the baseball game.

The way she kissed me before she staged our break-up for Charlie after James started chasing her, the look in her eyes before I surrendered her to Alice to keep her safe, broken and crumpled on the floor after James had attacked her, the sweet blood in her vein which I had resisted when she called out to me, in the hospital room where she had started hyperventilating at the thought of me leaving her, the prom where she looked like the goddess she truly was despite the hideous cast on her leg.

The way she frowned every time I brought up her birthday, the way she looked on her birthday, the way she bled after I had pushed her into glass plated to keep her from Jasper, the way her trusting eyes looked at me despite what had happened, the way she kissed me that night in her room, the pain on her face when I told her I didn't want her….

No, no… she couldn't still be feeling that pain… she was just human… she must have forgotten all about me…

_Do you really believe that?_ a snide voice came from within me. _She loved you and you betrayed her, you caused her pain and she killed herself to end the pain. You killed her!_

No, no, no…

This can't be true. This was not happening. It was all a lie. This is my punishment for wanting to be with her.

_But what if it's true? _the voice snickered. _You are going to have to go through eternity knowing that you killed the only woman you ever loved. You tortured her to death! Instead of killing her instantly when you should have, you made her death slow and agonizing. You killed her! You killed Bella! _the monster roared in glee at my pain.

The image of Bella, still and cold from Alice's vision was like a stake to my dead heart.

I had to know.

I could not go through eternity without her. If she was dead, I would make sure that I died to. The Volturi were always a part of my plan for when Bella died. But I had to make sure. I dialed the number to her home with shaking fingers begging whatever God was there in the heavens to let her answer it. I needed to hear her voice. To know she was safe, alive. The ringing of the phone was pure torture, the fear and agony taking hold of me.

"Hello."

It was a male voice though it was not Charlie's voice.

"Can I speak with Isabella Swan? I am calling from the Port Angeles public library. A book she borrowed from the library is overdue," I said trying to put on the best bored voice I could put on, though my insides were screaming _just put her on the line, damn it! Let me know she is ok. Let me hear her voice…_

There was a long pause at the other end of the line. The man cleared his throat before he said,

"I'm sorry but Bella has been missing since this afternoon. We have not been able to trace her since. Her father, Chief Swan is heading the search team…"

I crushed the wretched phone to powder in my grip.

No, she's not dead! My mind screamed at me. She's only missing… She probably went for a walk and lost track of time, maybe she was with her new boyfriend, maybe she's with Mike Newton… As much as I hated the idea of her being with him, I would choose it a million times over her being… I couldn't bring myself to say it.

But I would make sure. I will go back to forks and ensure her safety from the shadows and the leave forever. A new resolve filled me. I gathered my few belongings and one of the several passports in a whirlwind and yanked the door open to leave.

I felt the earth beneath me slip away as I took in the figures standing outside. It was Carlisle, Alice, Emmet and Jasper. The look on Carlisle's face said it all.

_"Edward, I'm so sorry…"_

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APOV:**

I wanted to cry. Never in all my life have I wanted to cry so badly.

I was always proud to think of myself as the optimist of the family, it was one of the reasons I complimented Jasper so much. He was the eternal realist. I also knew that Edward has always been a cynic, knowing the endless discussions he had with Carlisle about souls, angels, devils and immortality.

Since Bella, I saw more and more of the cynic being replaced by an optimist. Although he was not convinced about his soul or himself for that matter, he had started hoping, for Bella's sake. Though he would never admit it, he thought he must have some redeeming quality since someone as pure as Bella had decided to give herself to him, entirely.

I had tried to reason with him, I had tried to argue with him and finally I had screamed at him when he came home that September night after Bella's eighteenth birthday with his mind made up about leaving Bella and Forks behind permanently.

It was nothing but his twisted logic of right and wrong that made him do it. I had tried to explain to him that the moment he made the decision, the vision of Bella's death kept getting stronger, only this time he was not there in the vision with blood red eyes.

The visions kept changing-Bella slitting her wrists, Bella in an accident on a bike, Bella jumping off a cliff, Bella and Victoria- but with the same end result- Bella dead.

When he saw the vision in my head about Victoria, he decided to track her. I tried to make him grasp the idea that Bella's death was more likely due to his absence rather than Victoria, or any other factor, but my brother is a stubborn ass! Nothing I could say or think could penetrate that thick skull of his.

He forced us to leave by resorting to emotional blackmail, about how he had moved on with us whenever we needed to without making a fuss and that this was the time for us to repay the debt. He never even let me say goodbye to Bella not only that, he forbid me to look into her future. He wanted Bella's life to be_free_of our interference.

He appealed to Carlisle about the havoc we were wrecking on her quite, fragile, human life. He reminded him of how she had been entangled in the fight between James' coven and our family. He reminded him, very precisely, of each and every injury she had suffered. Finally, though Carlisle had been uneasy about it, he had given in.

Esme had been inconsolable about leaving Bella behind, without even saying goodbye, but again Edward had used his lethal blackmailing skills on her motherly heart to get his way.

Jasper had been so devastated by his lack of control that at that time, he would have done just about anything to appease Edward, to make up for his mistake.

Rosalie was the only one who was happy with the turn of the events and had very quickly persuaded Emmet that what was happening was for the best.

We relocated to a small county in Scotland where Carlisle and Edward had lived soon after changing Esme. While the overcast town allowed us to be as normal as we could be, nothing was the same.

The quiet understanding and companionship we enjoyed as a family, something rare for creatures of our kind was lost. It seemed that Edward had left a gaping hole in our constitution as a family by taking Bella and himself away from us. Life was a constant struggle.

Esme couldn't help but look forlorn; her pain at losing both her youngest children was evident. Carlisle, though he wouldn't admit it, felt guilty about not being able to do anything about the situation. Though he was against Edward's decision, he could not bring himself to overrule Edward's choice.

Emmet was no longer the boisterous giant we knew him to be and Rosalie couldn't keep herself from throwing tantrums every ten minutes ranting and raving about Edward's foolishness, his decision and most of all the mere existence of Bella.

Jasper was swamped with so many negative feelings that he had to keep running away from the house every time it became too much to bear. Most monumental of all emotions was his own overwhelming guilt. He knew his lapse in self-control was what triggered this entire situation and despite Bella's forgiveness and Edward's assurance that it was _necessary_ to open his eyes to the _truth of the matter_, Jasper felt inexorably guilty.

Most painful for him was my sorrow at losing my beloved brother and best friend, who might have been my future sister. Though I tried, I could not keep my pain from him due to his ability. When I finally could not stand the gloom which had perpetually settled over the household, I decided to pursue my past for once and try to discover about my human life from what little clues I got from James's video while Rosalie persuaded Emmet to go to Africa for a holiday.

I had lost myself in discovering my past when the vision suddenly came to me. I was on the couch of a hotel room, Jazzy reading a book at my feet.

I saw Bella at the edge of a cliff. Her face was drawn, her eyes sunken in their sockets, pain etched into every feature of her delicate face and yet a mysterious smile ghosted at the end of her lips. I gasped when I noticed that the smile did not reach her eyes, they were curiously flat,_dead_. And then she jumped.

"No!" I screamed.

Jasper had me in his arms in a flash. He could feel my fear and anguish radiating off me. He tried to sooth me with words of love and reassurance without asking me what it was that I saw but I couldn't make sense of his words. The vision kept repeating itself in my head. I kept searching for a different vision, to see if she resurfaced from the water but it never came. There are few times when I have lost hold of myself, this was one of them. I started shaking.

"Alice! What is it, baby? Tell me, please!"

"Bella!" I couldn't bring myself to say anything further.

Beside me, Jasper stiffened.

"Is she hurt? Did she get into an accident?" Jasper asked his voice muted with concern.

"She… she…" and I started sobbing.

"Alice… please, what is it?" Jasper's voice raised an octave.

"She killed herself! Oh Jazzy! She jumped off a cliff!" I sobbed.

There was no reaction from him, except his arms tightened around me. He held me close till the last of the sobs had died down. Then he raised my face to his and looking into my eyes he asked

"Are you sure? Absolutely sure?"

Jasper had never doubted my ability. He had more faith in me than anyone else and yet at this point, he couldn't help wish that I might be wrong._ I_ wished that I were wrong.

Although Jasper never showed it, he felt a deep bond with Bella, not directly but due to the love both Edward and I felt for her. He had observed the changes she had brought about in Edward, not just the obvious changes, but also the more subtle ones in the tenor of his general moods. He longed to form a bond with the girl who had brought us so much happiness but could never do so due to her scent and now he had lost the chance to ever really know Bella.

"Yes." I whispered.

"There is no doubt. I never saw her resurface. She has been under for too long. Humans can not hold their breath for so long. She's dead Jazzy!" the sobs returned with renewed fervor.

Bella… my best friend…my sister…_gone._

"Shh….shh….Alice. Please we have to keep calm. We have to inform the others…Edward…"

When he mentioned Edward's name, I froze. I had been so consumed with my grief; I forgot that there was Edward, Edward- my brother, who had lost his purpose with Bella's death. He did not know! He was still out there, hunting Victoria, thinking he was keeping Bella safe! He had to know. But where was he?

"Jazz… Edward… he's in South America. We have to go there!" I jumped out of Jasper's lap, starting to pack our things, ready to leave.

"Alice, calm down. We have to let the others know. Carlisle and Esme…"

I had pulled out my cell phone and was already dialing the number to the house in Scotland. To my surprise, it was Rosalie who picked up the phone. Apparently, she was back from Africa.

"Hello."

"Rose! It's Bella! She jumped off a cliff! She killed herself. We have to get to Edward! He doesn't know! He's chasing Victoria in south America," I spoke with such a speed that it would have been impossible for a human to hear me.

"Why that self-centered little…" Rosalie started with her usual caustic comments.

"Rose! Not now! Get Carlisle and Emmet and get to South America!" and I gave her the address of the place where Edward last was in my visions.

We were already in the car, driving to the airport with Jasper pushing a hundred and twenty miles per hour when the vision overtook me.

"Alice what is it?" Jasper asked.

"She told him, that fool, she told him!" I screamed.

"What? Who told whom what?"

"Rosalie! She called Edward and told him about Bella!"

Jaspers foot depressed the gas pedal further. He did not need to be able to see the result of my vision. Had any of us lost our mates, there would have been only one answer- the Volturi. Despite the fact that Bella was human, the love she and Edward shared was as strong as the rest of us.

There was no doubt about what Edward's choice would be. It was Rosalie who had always doubted the strength of Edward and Bella's relationship, thinking that their bond couldn't have been as strong as ours since Bella was only human. Edward's decision to leave Bella had only reinforced this belief in her.

I called Rosalie. Not that I could undo what she had done, but to make her realize what her shallow actions would lead to.

She picked up, and before she could say anything I screamed at her.

"You fool! What have you done? Do you realize what your phone call will make him do? Do you_want_ him dead as well?

"Alice! Don't shout at me! I did what was for his good. It's about time he got over that pathetic excuse for a mate and came home!"

She still wasn't getting it! How could anyone be so dumb!

"You idiot! What would you do if someone told you Emmet was dead?" had I been human, my voice would have been hoarse.

There was a pause on the other line, as Rosalie finally understood the obvious.

"You mean…."

"Yes! He will go to the Volturi. Why do you think I wanted us to tell him this personally? Do you not know him at all?"

Of all his unique qualities, Edward's stubbornness was one of his greatest strength and his greatest weakness as well. There would be no changing his mind once he was set on doing something. He even managed to get over his blood lust for Bella to be with her!

We were at the airport now, Jasper buying the tickets according to the best routes he had charted out during our car ride to the airport when the next vision came.

Edward curled up on the floor… thinking of Bella. This was not new. That was all he ever did since he left her. But why?

"Alice?"

"He did not believe her! He didn't believe Rosalie!" I said

"So he's not going to… Italy?" Jasper asked with relief in his voice.

"No, not yet. But he will figure it out. He will call her home to make sure she's safe and then..." I trailed off.

"How long before he figures it out Alice? How much time do we have?"

I looked into the future. It kept swirling and changing.

"It will be close…very close. One minute I see us restraining him and the next he is in the Volturi's main chambers!"

"We'll get there. We'll be on time," he promised me.

That flight was the longest one I had ever taken in my life.

The visions kept changing with increasing frequency. Edward alive, Edward dead. Amongst these visions, a new vision made its way into my head and I wanted to fall apart all over again.

It was Bella's funeral. Bella in a casket, Charlie in shock, his face set in disbelief, Rene sobbing hysterically with Phil supporting her, Jessica and Angela weeping, Mike with red eyes, Eric and Taylor with their heads hung low, all dressed in black. A beat up old Volkswagen drove up and then everything disappeared. I couldn't see anything. It was all a black void. I couldn't explain it. Something or someone caused me to lose my vision. It was the proximity of the other passengers, which kept me in control of myself, though Jasper could feel each tormented emotion coming off me.

We met Carlisle and Emmet at the airport, our flights landing within a few minutes of each other. Although I knew it was impossible, it seemed that Carlisle had aged a decade. His face was tense with emotion. For the first time that I could remember, Emmet's face was devoid of any sign of humor.

"Rose is with Esme," he said simply. Of course, I knew the condition Esme would be in.

"It's not your fault Carlisle." Jasper said quietly.

"I never should have agreed with him to move. I should have made him see reason." The agony was plain in his face. He had lost his daughter and was about to lose his son and he blamed himself.

The vision of Edward still flickered.

"Now is not the time Carlisle," I reminded him.

He nodded and his face set into the stone lines of determination.

"I will not lose my son."

It was nighttime so thankfully we did not need to take precautions against the sun. As we neared Edward's boarding, the vision of us restraining him began to solidify. Just as we were jumping out of the car the vision came. Edward had called Bella's home.

He knew.

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EPOV:**

"_Edward, I'm so sorry…"_

Carlisle's words knocked the breath I didn't need from my unmoving lungs.

"_Edward please, I know you are in pain, but please, don't forget that you have a family that loves you, needs you. Be brave my son, for our sake"_

Carlisle's thoughts never registered with my conscious.

My mind was filled with only one vision from Alice's head. Bella, _my_Bella, still, white, cold. Only this was not a vision I had seen before. She was not a vampire. Nor was I there with red eyes, I had not killed her.

_Yes, you did. You killed her by leaving her _camethe voice from the deepest recesses of my black heart.

My Bella, paler than usual, pale enough to have belonged to the realm of the undead, with no rosy tinge to her glorious cheeks, eyes shut, her mahogany tresses framing her pale moon face with peace on it and a slight smile on her full lips.

It was the knowing smile of someone who has accomplished her destiny without others realizing it.

_Dead._

"_No!"_my mind screamed, barely aware of the fact that the same scream had escaped my mouth.

Pain I never knew existed coursed through me, rage I never thought possible ravaged my body. The pain of my transformation was like a path covered in rose petals, the pain of living without Bella was like lying on a silken bed compared to this. I could endure it a million times over to rid myself of this grief, which threatened to kill me by ripping me from the inside out.

My Bella, my _angel,_dead. A scream more guttural and primal then I have ever heard in my existence escaped me. It was agonizing, it was excruciating, and it was unbearable_._

Battling to take control of me from my pain was rage.

The fury I felt was a fiery ferocious inferno. I wanted to destroy _everything._ I wanted to kill those insignificant humans who continued with their lives when my Bella would never live again, I wanted to tear down and burn those trees in the shade of which she would never stand again, I wanted to trample on the flowers which in all their glory could never compare to her sweet scent and innocent beauty, I wanted time to stop dead the moment _she_stopped breathing.

Most importantly, _I_wanted to be dead.

I wanted to be able to follow my angel to the golden gates of heaven where I could beg and grovel for entry to be with her, or to be cast to the deepest pits of hell where I could be punished for my sins.

My sins- for wanting Bella, in more ways than one, for taking her when she was not mine to take, for leaving her when she could not be safe without me, for her tears, for her pain, for her end.

I always knew the answer.

It was in Italy. The Volturi.

I would go to them. I would take my chances- to be with her in the afterlife, or be rid of an existence without her, which was worse than death. I surged forward when iron grips restrained me.

I roared like the monster that I was. Wanting to be let go. Wanting to end the pain, the misery, to be rid of the knowledge that my actions lead to her end. I struggled with all my might, to be free, to run to Italy, to meet my end at last.

And then abruptly the anger vanished taking with it my inhuman strength. All that remained was pain- it was a physical, heart breaking, gut wrenching pain. Was there no better term to describe this feeling?

A mere mortal would not have survived it. I crumbled to my knees as my mind went blank except for Bella's face, which was stored in perfect detail in my memory.

**

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JPOV:**

Bella was dead.

It did not fill me with the kind of loss that Alice felt or the all-consuming pain Edward suffered and yet it was there.

It felt as if something went missing from my constitution as a being. It was with a shock that I realized that Bella had a special place in my heart, despite the fact that I was always been associated to her by means of Alice and Edward.

She was special, for she brought joy to Alice the way Esme or Rosalie never could and more importantly she changed Edward, more than I thought was possible. As much as I loved the carefree and humorous side of Emmet, it was Edward who had kept me in control for as long I as I had been a Cullen. He had helped me abstain when I thought it was impossible, he helped me through the choice of being a vegetarian though I doubted my own strength to be able to go through with it. He had known my deepest darkest desires and saved me from them.

What is more, despite being privy to all of our thoughts, never once had I known him to use it to his advantage, to belittle us. He never deliberately reminded me of the number of times I had almost lost control, nor did he remind Rosalie of her miserable past, or the shallow and callous thoughts she reserved for most others. Always the gentleman, he felt additional guilt at being unable to block our minds and tried with all his might to give us what little privacy we had.

I could feel the happiness, the euphoria he felt when he was with Bella. I had never felt such positive emotions from him since I came to know him. The best emotions that I could have felt from Edward before he met Bella were that of content or peace. It would be a surprisingly pleasant day when he felt content for otherwise I could always feel anger, depression and self-loathing coming off him in waves. It was miraculous when he felt at peace, which was usually when he was shut in his room, listening to his music.

But then Bella _happened._

Edward was happy, _actually_ happy not just pretending for Carlisle' or Esme' sake. I had never felt so many positive emotions coming off him- happiness, joy, content, exhilaration and love. The love was the strongest emotion he felt.

Of course, all these good emotions came later,_after_ he realized that he loved her.

The period of Edward's life before he realized that he was in love with Bella, a human, his _singer_ was probably the worst phase he suffered, and I suffered with him.

First came the thirst. When I felt it, I almost went back to my old ways, and only Alice and her choice of this life helped me abstain. Then the irrational anger he felt for her, for tempting him, making him want to release the monster he had caged with such humongous effort. Then the biting curiosity and frustration at not being able to penetrate her mind, confusion about the feelings she evoked in him, the least pleasant being jealousy.

His mood swings became more and more erratic as he went from feeling absurdly happy to crushingly depressed and finally recklessly angry in a matter o moments. I had felt like I was caught up in a tornado of emotions, changing rapidly before I could come to terms with them.

After the almost accident, when Bella was almost crushed to death and Edward almost revealed us for what we were, I yet again felt a new emotion from him, resolve. A resolve to protect her; even if it meant for him to fight against Rosalie and me. I had felt the strength of his decision. I have no doubts till this date that he would have fought me had I tried to harm her then.

And he did fight me when I lost control.

Of all the time that I spent being a Cullen, that was the day; that was the moment I regretted the most.

Bella's eighteenth birthday that autumn had been the cause of celebration and festivities in the Cullen household. Despite the joy and the illusion of it being a normal human ceremony, none of us had forgotten what we were and what Bella was.

To put it crassly, she was our food, plain and simple. And we were inviting our food to a _dinner_ which none of us could stand to eat, nor could digest it. As a precaution, all of us had hunted before hand, more than it was necessary in order to prepare for the evening.

It took all my strength to reign in all the emotions I felt that evening- Alice was shamelessly happy, Esme filled with overwhelming love as she took in her beloved family and the latest addition to it, Carlisle full of content and warmth as he finally thought his family was complete, Emmet as usual was excited about the ritual while Rosalie felt irritated and downright disgusted to have to go through with it.

As always, Edward's emotions were a roller coaster, though his most predominant emotions were that of joy and love. But as soon as Bella entered the home, despite centuries of practice, all of us were on our guard.

Yes, we could control ourselves, yet that did not mean we did not feel the thirst. It was there, at the back of all our throats, a dull, dry, burning ache, and I felt the combined effects of it. My self control was stretched to its limit as I fought with the thirst felt by seven vampires for the blood of a girl whose scent was far more alluring then the rest of humans.

And then it happened. One drop of blood was all it took for me to lose myself in the bloodlust. I had lunged at her throat, wanting nothing more than to drink her sweet blood, which pounded so enticingly in her veins. Edward having seen my intentions had thrown me back and protected her and yet I had lost all the self-control I had built so painstakingly for decades together. In that moment all the pretenses of humanity were ripped to shreds as I revealed us for what we truly were, blood-drinking vampires.

I had never felt so weak in all my existence, nor had I felt so defeated, guilty and depressed. Alice had assured me that Bella did not hold a grudge against me, that she understood my actions and forgave me.

That was the first time I really understood the pull she held for Edward apart from her blood. She was good, through and through. Although I had noticed her fear for Edward and the others during our brief stay in Phoenix, trying to keep her from James, I had been too preoccupied making defense strategies and worrying about Alice to notice.

Yes, she was also selfless, that was also obvious from the fact that she could have died in order to protect her mother. All this had been right in front of my eyes and I had felt the strength of the love she felt for Edward and it had been as strong as the love any of us felt for our mates. I knew Rosalie thought that Bella's human love could be no match for the intensity of Edward's vampiric love, but I knew, I _felt_ otherwise.

Even Edward had forgiven me saying that he was thankful for what had happened, that it opened his eyes to the truth that he was too selfish to see. If I felt like being caught up in an emotional tornado before Edward came to terms with his love for Bella, it was nothing compared to the nerve wracking feelings he went through before he decided to leave Bella for her own good.

Guilt, sorrow, pain, self-loathing, and anger, every negative emotion that being with Bella had erased came back with a vengeance. I had tried my best to calm him, to sooth him but his emotions were far too much for me to handle and I had to run away from their intensity to regain my own senses.

The period in Scotland where we had relocated was equally fraught with emotional turmoil despite the absence of Edward who was out hunting Victoria. Everyone had been affected by Edward's decision to leave Bella and Forks behind.

Esme pined for the daughter she had lost, worried for the son who wouldn't come home and the general state of tatters our family was left in.

Carlisle worried about Edward, about how Bella would be coping and most of all he struggled with the intuitive feeling that what had happened was not for the best, that unfulfilled love would wreak more havoc on his beloved son and family.

I had never seen Alice morose, but leaving behind Bella, and the promise she made to Edward about not consciously looking into Bella's future left her feeling bitter, angry and sad. In all my time with Alice, I had never seen her so disconsolate. She had lost her brother and best friend in one go and there was nothing she could do about it.

Emmet had loved Bella like a little sister in his usual boisterous and jolly way and missed both Edward and Bella.

It was Rosalie who picked on the frayed edges of my already stretched nerves by her constant bad moods radiating anger, bitterness and resentment every second of the day.

While I tried my best to soothe and calm the family, there were times when it simply became too much and I had to run away several times in order to keep myself sane and to prevent projecting the feelings back onto them.

Alice's search for her past brought me back to America and with it came the welcome relief from being the antenna, which continuously received emotional overload. The temporary relief had been shattered from Alice's vision

Edward's emotions after realizing that Bella was truly dead were overwhelming.

I always thought that he couldn't get any more intense but here I was, on a lonely unknown street in south America, feeling physical pain radiate from him as he screamed in anger and agony. I felt like it would kill me, if not him. I tried to calm him, lessen his pain but even the strongest wave of calm I generated did not soothe him the least bit.

His pain was like a gigantic mountain and my waves of calm crashed and banged against it like torrential rain, without changing anything. I wanted to run away, far away from this searing agony, which was not mine in the first place, but I kept reminding myself that I was here for a purpose.

I knew, sooner rather than later, Edward would make the decision, which all of us feared and I had to be there to physically stop him from doing it. It seemed ironic that there was once a time when we were up against each other, both prepared to fight each other for protecting the women we loved and now, here, I was trying to protect him from himself as he lost the woman he loved by leaving her, in attempting to protect her from himself.

Had there ever been a greater tragedy?

"No!" Alice shrieked. "Grab him!" she commanded. And it was not a moment too soon.

Barely had the words left her mouth as Edward lurched forward, unseeing, blinded by pain and rage. Both Emmet and I grabbed him by the shoulders while Carlisle hugged from the front, in an attempt to push him backwards.

"Don't let go, he wants to go to Italy. Don't let go!" Alice sobbed.

I wanted to comfort her, but despite our combined efforts, Edward was making holding him down extremely difficult. Animal snarls and growls left his chest as he tried to heave past us. Even while restraining him, I was continually barraged by a torrent of anguish from him.

Just when I thought I could take it no longer, he collapsed, sinking down to his knees, unable to even support his own weight as we grabbed him to prevent him from falling face forward. For a few seconds the only sound came from our heaving chests as our ragged breathing from the struggle evened out.

Emmet, Carlisle and I never loosened our grip on Edward, not knowing when he might try to break our hold on him. It was then that I realized that something was very wrong. I gasped horrified.

While the same fear, worry and pain were leaking out from the four of us, I could feel none of the anguish from Edward, which had tormented me. In fact, I could feel _nothing_ from him. He felt empty, hollow, and emotionless. It could have been an unmoving piece of furniture instead of Edward on the floor between our iron grips.

Behind me, I heard Alice's sharp intake of breath, knowing that she had seen something I was sure I never wanted to see.

**

* * *

Author's note:** It's long and angsty, but it will get better. I promise!

Read and review, please!


	3. Chapter 2:An Illusion

**CPOV:**

"Edward…son, can you hear me?" It was such an ironic question. Yes, we vampires can hear much better than humans, and yet, here I knew Edward would not hear me. He was past all hearing; he was past all _reason._

"Carlisle!" I heard Jasper speak harshly. He looked worried, but this was different than the worry etched on the rest of our faces. He looked_terrified._ What more could possibly go wrong?

"Carlisle, he's…he's…_empty_!"

I had never seen Jasper struggle with trying to describe someone's emotion.

I was speechless and Emmet was dumbfounded.

"What do you mean he's empty?" Emmet asked; his voice laced with anger.

"I mean I feel nothing from him. _Nothing_. It's like he is not there, there are no emotions for me to feel. It's like he is not here with us. I am feeling as much emotion from him as I would feel from a wooden chair".

"He's… he's in shock." Alice's voice broke from the sobs she was trying to contain. "I saw it. Carlisle, we have to get him home before he breaks out of his trance. Once he does, nothing is going to stop him from going to the Volturi. We have to get him home,_now!"_

"How can he be in shock? He's a vampire for Christ's sake!" Emmet bellowed.

Jasper cringed at his outburst.

"Emmet, can you please try to calm down? I'm barely hanging on here!" Jasper pleaded.

"Sorry, bro. It just doesn't make sense!" Emmet sighed.

But it did make sense. It made more sense than I wanted it to.

"It does make sense Emmet. It makes perfect sense." Emmet looked incredulous as I forced out the words that I did not want to believe myself.

"Being a vampire does not absolve us from human emotions. They are merely buried deep within us, only waiting to surface again. But being what we are, we experience human emotions far more strongly and intensely once they resurface. That is why the changes in us are so final. That is why we love and hate with an intensity not possible for a human". _Not possible for humans, all except one… my child, my daughter, Bella._

"Edward may not have a beating heart, he may not fall sick, he will never die, but he feels everything a human can, and Bella's death is not something he can come to terms with. His mind is shutting down. Imagine how you would feel if Rosalie were to die."

Emmet looked aghast.

"Poor kid" he murmured.

"It's not normal, Carlisle. I can feel emotions off comatose people better than this" Jasper claimed.

I knew for a fact that it was not an empty claim. Despite his bloodlust, Jasper had time and again helped me decipher the emotions of comatose humans, something impossible even for the most modern and sensitive machines man could think of. In fact he had proven the belief that despite being comatose, people could actually hear, analyze and respond to various stimuli during a coma.

"He's going to be like that for quite a while. You can let him go for now. I've seen it. He is not going to come out of it soon. But when he does…" Alice's words left the threat unspoken.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had tried, tried to be strong, to be rational in a situation so devoid of logic and yet there was no denying it.

My son was a vampire. He fell in love with a human.

_Where was the_ _logic?_

More surprisingly, she loved him back. Despite knowing what he was.

_Again, where was the logic?_

He wanted to be able to grow old with her and die with her when the time came.

She wanted to live for him, with him, forever.

_Illogical._

He loved her and left her to protect her from himself, to let her live fully.

She loved him and killed herself because she couldn't live without him_._

_Madness!_

I had far outlived what was to be my human life. I had seen life. Every aspect of it, every facet of it. I had examined it with the eye of a jeweler searching for an exquisite gem. I had been fascinated with what I saw, I had been pained by what I saw, disgusted, angered, and frightened by what I saw.

I had seen centuries of love, passion, anger, hatred, war and peace. I had lived for centuries and despite everything I saw, I continued to believe in God, even when I was turned into something which people believed was demonic, I had continued to believe in Him.

Mine was not a vengeful God. I decided to find my purpose in my new life and tried to do His work with my enhanced abilities- I tried every day to give people life, something that had been taken from me, I tried to reduce their pain while battling my own pain at their proximity. I tried and struggled every day of my existence, never once losing my faith in Him.

But today, seeing my son in a state worse than death, knowing my daughter, the most loving person in the world, met with her end feeling unloved, my faith in Him faltered.

_How could you let this happen?_ I screamed in my head.

How could a fate as cruel as this befall my children? Two of the purest and kindest souls I had known in my extended life had been tortured endlessly, relentlessly. Each barrier put forth against their love, their very nature antagonizing their union, they had overcome. How could a love so pure and strong not survive? Was this what Edward had been trying to convince me of? Was it really true? That we were cursed beings? That we did not possess the soul it took for God to grant us mercy?

I couldn't help but feel overwhelming guilt. My son was in this state because I had been selfish, because I had craved the company of another so much in my solitude that I had turned an innocent boy of seventeen into a monster.

"Carlisle, please. Not now. We need you," Jasper's plea brought me back from the abyss of my grief and guilt.

"Sorry Jasper. I couldn't help it. Alice, do you think it will be safe to fly with Edward in this condition? I cannot risk having him lose control midair with all those people."

"I've already seen it Carlisle. It's safe. He will not come out of his stupor for months. We do not need to worry about the flight home. We can easily make him pass for a sick person. The flight will go without a problem. We need to get home soon and try to figure out what we can do about when he truly does snap out of it. It's not going to be easy Carlisle. He'll be impossible to control. I've never heard of suicidal vampires but we are going to have to deal with one firsthand in a couple of months." Alice sighed.

"Jasper, please arrange for us to be on the fastest flight home. I will need to have Emmet and Alice nearby just in case." I said.

Jasper nodded, kissed Alice on the forehead, threw a last wave of calm at us and left the room. Emmet slung Edward on the shoulder and carried him out from the room to the waiting car.

**

* * *

SCOTLAND**

**

* * *

APOV:**

The flight was uneventful. Everything went perfectly fine. We had put Edward in a wheel chair and explained that he was a leukemia patient in an extremely fragile state of health. As a precaution, we mentioned to the staff on the aircraft not to address him directly.

I noticed the passengers and the staff throwing Edward sympathetic glances, obviously wondering about his physical condition that made him look so pale with such purple bruises under his eyes. If only they knew, that this fragile boy as he appeared, was capable of things that they could never imagine in their wildest dreams.

Again I searched the future to get an estimate on when Edward would be waking up, but it was useless. I couldn't see anything. Obviously, coming out of this state would not be a conscious decision on Edward's part and so I couldn't see when it would happen. I let out a frustrated groan.

Jasper soothed me, stroking my hair as I leaned onto him for support I didn't need.

"I'm so proud of you Jazzy!"

Despite our emotions running amok, he had not only held onto his control but also calmed us enough to keep our heads clear and make the right decisions.

He kissed my hair and whispered "We couldn't have done it without you, darlin'! You saved him"

"But I can't see what's going to happen! I don't know anything! It's killing me! How can I not know what will happen? We have to be prepared…"

He placed a finger on my lips in a gesture to silence me.

"Calm down. You will see when the time is right. And we will be prepared. We won't let him hurt himself."

"It scares me Jazzy, not knowing scares me," I whispered.

"It will be all right, we will work it out." He soothed me and I focused on the rhythmic stroking of his fingers in my hair.

We had barely stepped into the living room of the hose when Esme was at our side. She gasped when she saw Edward's prone figure in Emmet's arms.

"What happened? What's wrong with him? Is he hurt?" she shrieked.

Emmet laid Edward onto the couch and Esme was beside him in a flash, her arms wrapped around him, hugging him, kissing his forehead.

"Edward?" she asked, looking for a sign of life from her comatose son.

"You had better give me some answers, fast!" she demanded, glaring at us, even Carlisle was not spared.

"Calm down, my dear" Carlisle assured her as he sat next to her on the couch. Esme had Edward cradled in her arms, just the way I had seen human mothers cradling their infants. She truly was our mother in every sense of the word.

"He's in shock. He cannot cope with …"

Even Carlisle couldn't finish the sentence.

Esme's lower lip trembled and she squeezed her eyes shut, no doubt in an attempt to shed the tears she could not produce. Her body started shaking with her broken sobs as she shakily whispered "Bella…"

She leaned her head on Carlisle's shoulder, just the way I had leaned on Jasper's shoulder on our flight home, still cradling Edward.

I had not noticed till now, but Rosalie was now in the room. One glance at her and everything came rushing back, the phone call, the way she had disregarded Edward's pain and Bella's death. It took all my control not to start shouting at her again; instead I focused on conveying all my anger at her through my eyes. I felt a bit satisfied when I saw her face cave under my death glare, as she took in the state of Edward, for once, her face was wiped clean of all the smug haughtiness which adorned her face always.

As Emmet walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder, for the first time my memory would allow, I saw sorrow on Rosalie's face for someone other than herself.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she continued to look at Edward. I didn't know to whom that apology was addressed since it was clear that Edward couldn't hear her, but I hoped it was not me. I was in no way close to be prepared to forgive her actions.

"We had better get him up to his room," Esme said as her sobs finally quieted down.

Carlisle nodded, gathered Edward in his arms and climbed up to Edward's room on the third floor. That first night, both Carlisle and Esme stayed with Edward, whispering comforting words to him, hoping that some part of his shut down brain might register them.

The next day, there was still no sign of any improvement from Edward.

Carlisle called a family meeting in the dining hall. We all gathered around the dining table, not bothering on following the fickle human tradition of sitting down as we talked, we were far too tensed to do so. Carlisle started the conversation by stating his own decision.

"I've decided to take an indefinite leave of absence from the hospital till Edward comes out of his current state of mind. It would be best for the sake of appearances if the rest of you continued to attend school and college as usual, though I would like Alice to stay home with us to forewarn us if anything… untoward were to happen. We can easily pretend that she has been selected to go to school in London."

I nodded. Of course, I already knew his decision before he announced it.

"It's absolutely fine. Everyone agrees." I said.

"Then that's settled."

Carlisle ended the meeting.

The following three and a half months were the worst months in the history of the Cullen household.

Edward was constantly at the forefront of our thoughts. Two days after our return from South America. Emmet had tried taking Edward hunting. His eyes had been black and we knew he needed to hunt. He had picked up Edward and carried him to the forest. Despite being a few feet from a herd of deers Edward had not stirred. When it was clear he would not move, Jasper had killed a deer for him and brought it to his mouth.

Still no reaction.

"It's no use, Jazzy, he won't feed." I said dejectedly.

"But he's got to hunt! How else is he going to survive?" Emmet growled.

"We don't die from thirst Emmet, we just grow weak. Remember that Carlisle had tried to kill himself by not feeding and he had only grown weak, he hadn't died." I said.

We took him back home. Esme was in a constant state of panic regarding the physical and mental health of Edward, there was nothing she could do about waking him up from his trance, but the fact he hadn't fed in weeks scared her even more. Finally, after a month and half of Edward's hunger strike, I saw what Carlisle planned to do. I gasped. Jasper turned to me with a questioning look.

"You have to get out of the house. Don't come back till I tell you to. Carlisle is bringing human blood for Edward." I told him.

He nodded and bolted out of the window. I went to warn the rest. I knew Carlisle was desperate to have brought home human blood from the blood bank he had access to. Carlisle worried that the lack of feeding might affect Edward mentally. Insanity was rare among vampires, but Carlisle was not taking any chances.

We went to Edward's room. No one had taken a single breath since Carlisle had brought the blood. Carlisle and Emmet took their place on Edward's sides, to restrain him if he lost control at the sight if the human blood.

Carlisle nodded at me. I poured the blood into a cup and brought it to Edward. He didn't move. I came closer still, holding the cup just inches from his nose and mouth. He was breathing, a habit difficult to break despite not requiring oxygen to survive. There was no way he did not smell the blood. I sat there in front of him holding the glass of blood for an eternity when I heard Carlisle sigh.

"It's no use Alice. Get rid of the blood. He is not ready."

I nodded, poured the blood down the drain and emptied a can of bleach after it to kill the smell.

More than three months had passed and Edward's state hadn't changed. I was frustrated, trying to look for his future, trying to find that one thing that would snap him out of it when it hit me. The vision scared me so much that I stopped breathing.

"Everyone in the living room, please" I said.

Everyone was there when Jasper and I got there. They were looking at me expectantly. I was glad I finally had something to tell them though it would only terrify them.

"He's going to come around in three days, four hours and twenty two minutes." I stated.

For the first time in months I saw Esme smile and Carlisle relax. It pained me to say the next sentence, knowing it would rob them of the momentary relief, but we had very little time.

"And he will head straight for Italy." I finished.

There were gasps from all the family members and a sob from Esme. It was Emmet who spoke.

"We won't let him do that. We won't let him hurt himself. I will fight him if I have to, hurt him if I need to, to keep him alive."

Everyone nodded. That was when the next vision hit me. It was worse than the first.

It was Edward fighting Emmet, Carlisle, and Jasper. The fight I saw was nothing like the brotherly matches they used to have. It was a fight till the death. I saw Edward throw Carlisle into the wall of his bedroom, duck Emmet and rip off Jasper's arm when he tried to restrain him. How he could muster such strength after not having fed for months was beyond me.

"No! You can't do that. He will hurt you!" I screamed.

Emmet looked at me disbelievingly.

"He is in so much pain; he will not be in a position to comprehend anyone else's pain. He simply wants to end his pain. It's literally killing him, knowing that Bella's dead and blaming himself for what happened. He will hurt you, physically, if you try to stop him. I saw him rip out Jasper's arm"

Carlisle was aghast. Emmet looked at me like I had lost my mind. Jasper stroked my arm, trying to comfort me.

"What if we locked him in someplace which he couldn't leave? We have the safe house in London; even vampires cannot penetrate it. There's no way he can leave that place if he was locked in, even he couldn't break his way out of that one," Jasper suggested.

Another vision overtook me. Edward setting up a fire. What was he doing? Fire was the only thing that vampires were afraid of, considering the fact that the only other things that could destroy us were the nails and teeth of werewolves. And then, as if to answer my question, the Edward in my vision jumped into the fire. I fell to my knees as I saw him being turned to ashes without a single scream leaving his mouth. I started sobbing.

Jasper had me in his arms, while Esme stroked my hair.

"Alice! What is it honey?" she asked, worried at my sudden outburst.

"He set himself on fire! He lit a pyre and jumped into it!" I wailed. For the millionth time in the past few months, I wished I could cry.

Shock and disbelief were plastered on their faces. They hadn't really understood the extent of pain he was in.

"What can we do?" Carlisle asked me, beseechingly.

I gave him the only answer I had.

"We have to restrain him, keep him chained, so he won't hurt himself," I said.

Esme was horrified.

"Keep him chained, like an animal? He is my son! Your brother, how can you say that?"

There was no time for sugar coating the truth. Much as I hated hurting Esme, she needed to come to terms with the truth.

"Would you rather see your son chained, or as a pile of ashes?" I asked bluntly.

Esme closed her eyes, and I knew I had won before she sadly nodded her head and whispered, "I am so sorry, my son".

We brought custom made chains, used for anchoring ships to harbor to restrain Edward. He was still lifeless when we went in to put him in the shackles. Carlisle didn't move for a while. He kept looking at Edward with a mixture of pain, sorrow and guilt. Finally, he started draping the chains over Edward's still body as he repeated Esme's sentence over and over again.

"I'm so sorry, my son…"

Time seemed to move in slow motion before Edward woke up from his state. We were all in his room waiting for him to get up, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmet stood in front of me, Esme and Rosalie. They did not want to take any chances with him, despite the fact that I had assured them that Edward would not be able to break free from his confinement. Esme kept breaking down at the sight of Edward's body, invisible under the thick chains, which held him.

"Now," I whispered.

Everyone tensed as Edward's eyes, which had been unfocussed for months focused on our group. I saw Jasper flinch at the emotions which Edward was feeling. And then, he lunged at us, the most terrifying snarls leaving his chest.

**

* * *

EPOV:**

Bella…Bella… Bella….

Her face, her deep chocolate brown eyes, her button nose, her full lips, her fair cheeks with the glorious blush, her silken hair, the delicate arch of her neck…. My Bella, she was my world…. I knew nothing but her… I existed for her.

I was vaguely aware of being moved, carried by a strong pair of arms, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the face of my angel. I heard none of the annoying voices, which constantly invaded, into my conscious self. I heard whispers, felt hands stroking my hair, heard sobs breaking out in some faraway place, but nothing mattered. I was with my angel. Nothing would make my focus waver. She granted me this pleasure, never looking away from me, staring right back at me, those melting eyes full of love and warmth for me, I lost myself in them.

I was aware of a dull fire burning in the back of my throat, but it didn't matter, it was easy to ignore. Open flames licking at my stone body could not have made me look away from her. I had no sense of time, or being. I was with her, that's all that mattered.

But then the look in her eyes changed. There was moisture in her eyes, she was crying! No, no… she should not cry, angels never cried, and then the look in her eyes changed again. Now it was flat, faraway, and finally her stare turned glassy. The vision hit me like a wrecking ball, my angel was in a casket, and her eyes closed, a slight smile on her face.

Cold. _Dead._

Bella was dead, she had jumped off a cliff, and she had killed herself because of me.

The pain returned with a vengeance. It was too much to bear, her face disappeared from my mind and the last shred of comfort disintegrated. She was dead and I would never see her again, hear her musical voice, breathe her luscious scent, feel her warm lips, and hear her heart thud… I could not live. I had to be where she was.

I had to die.

Italy.

Volturi.

Then my eyes focused on the familiar faces of my family. Each face held fear and pain in their eyes. God! The pain they would never feel, the pain that burned me up from within. I had to get to Italy; they were there to stop me. Nothing could stop me from being with my Bella.

I rushed forward. Something held me back. Chains. Ha! Did they really think the fragile manacles forged by human hands could hold me back? I strained against them, growls ripping from my chest, angry with them for keeping me from my Bella. I pulled with all my might, but the chains did not give away.

Relief crossed Carlisle's face as he quietly told me, "You are greatly weakened my son, you have not fed in months."

Suddenly the dull ache at the back of my throat burst into flames.

I pulled at the chains with more force, willing them to snap. Suddenly I saw a movement.

Rosalie. She had moved forward.

"Edward…" she said, but I couldn't focus on what she was saying. Her words from an earlier time came back to me.

"_She's dead Edward. Gone. She jumped off a cliff. That thankless little cretin killed herself after all you did to keep her alive."_

I snarled. I wanted to rip her apart. Emmet pulled her behind himself, shielding her from me. But she pushed forward again, her eyes blazing with anger and determination.

"Stop being such a wuss Edward!" she hissed

That did it. Nothing could save her from me. Not even Emmet. I struggled against the chains again.

"For once in your long, pathetic, miserable, self-absorbed life, be a man! You left Bella despite almost everyone in this family being against it. You yourself did not want to do it! You left the woman you loved for your high and mighty ideas about right and wrong. You made a decision that was not yours to make alone. You left her behind destroyed yourself, her and this family! And now you want to go off yourself? Be my guest!"

"Rosalie!" Esme cried.

"I will not keep quiet! Enough is enough! Go to the Volturi, by all means and if they don't help you, I most certainly will. You are torturing everyone in this family selfishly, not thinking about what you are putting them through. You were selfish when you left Bella, not caring about the pain your actions would put her through! The pain _killed _her Edward and now you want to find the easy way out of your own pain? Be a man and face the consequences of your actions! You believe in heaven and hell, crime and punishment? Well, consider this your punishment for rejecting Bella, for putting her in pain, for killing her. If you have a shred of decency left in you, you will live. You will live forever without the woman you loved, knowing each minute of your extended life is a punishment for your actions, for treating others feelings as shallow and trivial to compared to your own!" she finished, her breathing labored.

Her word drove iron stakes into my dead heart. She was right. I deserved to be punished; I deserved to suffer like my fragile Bella had. And then her face came into my mind, a horrified expression plastered on it.

_***"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again! No matter what might ever happen to me, you are**__**not allowed **__**to hurt yourself!" she screamed in my mind.***_

I fell to my knees as I realized that I would have to endure an eternity without my Bella.

**

* * *

FIFTEEN YEARS LATER**

**

* * *

EPOV:**

Purgatory.

I had thought of it as purgatory. But was so much more now. It was hell. My own, personal hell. I now realized what the saying, "everyone carries their own hell with them" meant.

It had been fifteen long, excruciating years of my lonely existence. I had finally returned to a state of mind where I could join my siblings in our eternal attempt of keeping up a human façade. We had moved back to America after it was no longer possible to keep up pretenses in Scotland.

We were now in Rochester in the New York state where the bad weather allowed us to lead an almost normal existence. Just the way we could when we were in Forks… where I met her. I felt a sharp stab of pain where my heart should have been beating. I saw Jasper throw me a glance and I nodded.

I no longer read their thoughts. It had been years since I had tried. I didn't want to hear what they thought. Initially, their only thoughts were of sympathy and love, but then I had caught the vision of Bella throwing herself off the cliff from Alice's mind when she was not being careful. It had been seared into my memory. That day forth I had never pried into their thoughts, or anyone else's for that matter.

In order to maintain some semblance of a human being, I had to focus all my strength on the illusion of Bella. Losing her memory, even for a second caused immeasurable pain and I lost all my control. It was surprisingly easy to tune out others thoughts when I focused on her.

My family knew of my tactic to keep Bella's illusion in my mind at all times.

While Carlisle and Esme were concerned, Alice sympathetic, Jasper was thankful for it. It was impossible for him to stay around me when I lost the illusion of Bella and the pain resurfaced. Emmet thought I had gone crazy, but yet felt sorry for me while Rosalie thought I had totally lost it. I couldn't care what they thought of me. Without her illusion, I would truly turn into the monster that I was, exposing us for what we were.

We were in the cafeteria. Bella smiled at me, a knowing smile and my mind wandered to the time when I had invited her to sit with me during lunch at school for the first time. My memory afforded me a crystal clear image of Bella sitting in front of me, tracing the cap of the lemonade bottle with her delicate finger. I still had that bottle cap, a reminder of the first time she had said yes to me.

Then, as the warm air from the heaters changed direction, it hit me, the same time as I heard Alice gasp.

_Freesia and lavender._

The illusion of Bella disappeared from my mind as the monster within me roared. But more prominent than the roaring monster was the overjoyed, ecstatic man within me. I knew this scent. I could never in an eternity forget it. Nor the person it represented.

_Bella._

I knew it! I always knew! Angels could never die! She was here, my Bella was here, so close I could smell her. Nothing mattered anymore except getting to her, reaching her, melting into those warm brown depths, touching that glorious silken skin… my heaven.

I rushed blindly through the cafeteria, my sense of smell guiding me to her, some unconscious part of my mind, still forcing me to move at the frustrating human speed in a cafeteria full of humans. The scent kept getting stronger and stronger, another unconscious part of my mind registering the sudden freedom from the aching pain I had been feeling for the past fifteen years.

There she was!

Sitting alone at a table in the farthest corner of the room, her back facing me, a part of me wondered if she was aware of my presence. I walked to her, my eyes closed, guided by her scent, wanting only to see her, when I opened my eyes into a new heaven.

For fifteen years I had rotted on this earth, thinking she had left it, but now she was here, my angel. She was my savior and I would never, never ever let her go. I had reached her; I could feel the heat coming off her body, the scent so much stronger now. Venom clung to my teeth but I couldn't care less, my dead heart sang a joyous hallelujah as I thanked the God for blessing me with my angel.

As I opened my eyes, my stomach knotted, my nerves set aflame and my breathing hitched as I prepared to meet her warm doe eyes.

"Bella," I heard her name on my lips.

My Bella.

And then I felt as though Emmet had punched me in the gut.

Her eyes, her eyes…

No! No! It couldn't be.

Gone were the warm brown depths of her eyes, the melted pools of chocolate which comforted me, which understood me, which engulfed me. They no longer held the shy gaze which saw right through me, into my long lost soul.

Her eyes were black, pitch black, the eyes of a monster. They gazed into mine, brazenly, without an inch of recognition or intuition.

And then I knew I was dead, because I was dreaming. No, I was having a nightmare. It was wrong.

Completely wrong.

It couldn't be.

Impossible.

The eyes were not warm and wide, they were sharper, more definite, the pitch black irises like shining chips of coal, smoldering, aglow… her skin, no longer the creamy white it used to be but a much darker shade… more like honey…glowing, radiant… her lips were perfect, no longer slightly out of balance…this was not an interesting face… it was a shockingly beautiful and elegant face…it was… not my Bella.

This was not my Bella. It was _someone_ with a scent just like her.

_No. _

It can not be.

The realization came crashing down on me, and all of a sudden the pain, which had reduced to a dull throb, came back with such a vengeance that I was surprised I was not bleeding. I knew I couldn't bleed, but how could so much pain not affect my body the least bit? I expected deep gashes to appear on my body, the deepest of the wounds ripping my heart into two, dying a thousand deaths over and over as once again the truth of Bella's death reaffirmed itself.

Bella was dead.

Gone.

An eternity of loneliness.

Bella.

Bella.

Bella.

"Excuse me?"

The voice broke through my pain with surprising clarity. It was quiet, clear, subdued and yet incredibly strong.

"I'm sorry; he mistook you for someone else." Alice was beside me, tugging at my arm leading me away from the cafeteria.

**

* * *

Author's note:** Drum rolls please! Yes, _**she's **_here! More in the next update.

Let me know what you think. I love feedback, use PM or review. They're all welcome.

The line between the asterisk (*) signs is taken from 'New Moon' when Edward tells Bella about his contingency plans to go to the Volturi when she was attacked by James.

Love,

Katty.


	4. Chapter 3: A Peek into the Future

**EPOV:**

I was vaguely aware of walking, and then the frigid wind blowing into my face. I could still smell _her,_the venom still clinging to my teeth, still tasting her scent on my tongue. Alice must have known what I intended to do without me consciously realizing it. She stopped at the outskirts of the forest that stretched just beyond the school compound. And I did the only thing that could liberate me.

I ran.

I ran like I never had. I had to get away, far away. I kept running, vaguely aware that I had crossed the border into Canada, but I didn't really care. Despite not being the slightest bit tired, I stopped when_her_image finally made itself into my mind.

A perfectly oval face, the black eyes blazing fire, the curve of her lips, which most girls in this day tried to obtain by resorting to cosmetic surgery, the skin which was like molten gold, the color of honey, the way water shone when the sun ray's hit it at an angle, supple, smooth, soft, the scent... the woman who was not Bella, but had her heavenly scent.

An unreasonable, unimaginable fury coursed through me. I lashed out at a nearby tree, making the crack echo through the forest as it landed with a thud, making a dent in the moist ground. Birds flew making a ruckus, and I could hear the individual scampering of various small creatures.

How_dare_she?

The fact that she possessed Bella's scent drove me insane with anger. It was as if she was tainting Bella's perfection, violating her memory. That fragrance belonged to Bella and Bella alone, she stole it, coveting something that was not hers to take.

I _hated_ her with every fiber of my being.

**

* * *

APOV:**

"Are you sure he is alright? Why isn't he back yet? Alice, sweetheart, could you please just check once again…" Esme asked for the millionth time.

I sighed.

"He's fine Esme. He just needs time." I tried to convince her.

The family had been in a constant state of panic since the little episode of Edward with the new girl in the cafeteria. I couldn't help the guilt that threatened to overwhelm me as I didn't see the vision of Edward rushing to her side, senseless by her scent, soon enough to avoid it. I knew he was in pain and I had been the only one who could have prevented it and I had failed him, again.

Jasper's grip tightened on my waist.

"It's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself." He consoled me while kissing my hair.

"Why him? Why my son? Just when things were getting better…" Esme continued to rant as she got off the loveseat from beside Carlisle and began pacing.

If things hadn't been so serious, I might have laughed. All of us had our own ways to deal with stressful situations. Rosalie tended to sulk and make life hell for the rest of us when she was upset. Emmet, whom I had rarely, seen truly frustrated, tended to shout profanities at a volume at which even the deafest of humans could hear. I shopped when I was upset while Jasper isolated himself, away from the feelings of others to understand and sort out his own feelings. Carlisle buried himself in books or gave way to silent brooding while Esme focused all her energies on mundane household chores, which were few considering what we were. But now I realized that Edward's habit of pacing when agitated had made an impact on Esme as now she threatened to dig a hole in the floor by pacing continuously.

"Things were not getting better Esme, stop trying to fool yourself!" Rosalie shouted.

Esme stopped pacing as though she had run into a brick wall and Carlisle stiffened.

I had not yet forgiven Rosalie for that phone call fifteen years ago, despite the fact that her brazen outburst later on had eventually led to Edward's continued existence. But I wasn't sure what I would do to my sister if she dared be rude to our mother.

"Rosalie!" I hissed, as I involuntarily jumped out of Jasper's lap.

"What?" she growled back.

"Oh please, do not even try to pretend that anyone of you is convinced that he was on the mend". She was practically spitting venom now.

Suddenly she let out a mirthless laugh.

"I can't imagine what I hate more; Bella, or her illusion that Edward pretends to be with all the time".

"Don't you dare!" I cried.

"Dare to do what? Speak the truth? How long are we going to deny it? How long are we going to wait for him to snap out of it? Do you think I_enjoy_ seeing him like this?" she screamed, fortunately she did not need air to breathe.

Suddenly, her shoulders slumped and she fell into Emmet's arms as he took to glaring at me.

"Don't you understand? I want to see him happy, just like the rest of you. It kills me to see him this way. Despite my differences with Bella and her choices, I never wanted her dead and I never wanted him to be sad. He is driving himself insane! I've heard him _talking_ to her, for the love of God! He has to move on… he's not going to last like this!"

I couldn't argue with her. I lost my steam as I realized that she was right. It was ugly, painful and yet, it was true. Edward couldn't last like this. We all knew that. Edward had stopped listening to our thoughts, but we knew it was not a conscious decision on his part. He focused all his energies on creating an illusion of Bella, imagining her, talking to her, humming her lullaby, always a tortured look on his face as though he was in physical pain… it was eerie. And yet we couldn't take that away from him. It was the only thing that was keeping him sane. He hunted less, lesser than even Carlisle, staying cooped up in his world, not being with us despite being among us at all times.

A collective doom settled on us, as we tried to find a solution to a problem that had never before existed in this world. How do you get an immortal vampire to stop grieving for his mortal human girlfriend and move on with his existence?

That was when it hit me.

_It was Edward, walking on the shore of Lake Ontario, with the same girl who had been in the cafeteria today, the girl with Bella's scent, she was walking beside him, barefoot, their hands barely touching. It was the look on Edward's face that made me stop breathing. He looked peaceful, content, for the first time in fifteen years his face wasn't marred by pain or anguish._

_He looked at the girl walking at his side, quietly, content in being with him as a curious look appeared on his face._

_"Tell me what you are thinking," he urged._

The vision ended as abruptly as it had begun.

Suddenly Esme was in my face.

"Is he okay? What happened? Did he hurt himself?" her eyes were wide and if I didn't know better I'd say she was nearing a panic attack.

"Relax Esme, he is fine. Don't worry," I tried to placate her.

"What did you see?" she challenged.

I had to tell them. This might be the only chance my brother had at peace. I was determined that he had this chance.

"Alice?" Jasper cocked an eyebrow at the sudden resolve he felt from me.

I took a deep breath.

"It's the girl with Bella's scent. He can't read her mind." I finished shortly.

My family went completely still, the way only vampires can.

Then I heard a groan from Rosalie.

"Not again!" she sighed.

She stood up as she said, "Well, if it's going to be a human again, he better have the brains to keep her for as long as he can. If he tries anything that he did last time, I will personally kick his rear end out of the door." She announced as she left the room.

For once, Emmet did not follow her. He had such a confounded look on his face that it almost made me smile.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"It seems Edward is going to form a _bond_ with her in the future. The vision was very clear." I said.

"He's going to fall for a human again?" he asked incredulous.

"Yes" was my short but confident answer.

Again it seemed Esme was in my face, shaking me by my shoulders, screaming at me.

"Tell me, exactly what did you see? Was he happy? Is she going to love him back? How long before it happens?" the questions were endless.

Carlisle came to hold her from behind, one hand on her shoulder, the other on her waist.

"Esme dear, slow down" he tried to calm her despite the fact that he himself couldn't contain the hopeful gleam which shone in his eyes.

"What exactly did you see Alice?" he said, now in complete authority as the head of the family.

I recounted my vision.

As I recalled the vision from my perfect memory, I knew this was the girl who would bring us our Edward back, I knew he would be happy this time, I would make sure he stayed happy this time. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face as I realized that things were finally going to be alright, no, they were going to be perfect.

I hugged Jasper.

"Oh Jazzy, he's going to be happy, finally."

"Alice, does she know what we are?" Carlisle asked.

It was the proverbial million-dollar question.

"I…I don't know. There was nothing in the vision that indicated whether she knew or not, I'm not sure I can answer that."

"When is it going to happen Alice, when can we meet her?" Esme asked with a maniacal gleam in her eyes. She had suffered a great deal watching Edward wasting away and couldn't wait for him to be happy. At this point, she couldn't care if he fell in love with a goat.

"I don't know when Esme. The time limit was not clear, but it was the strongest vision I've had, just as strong as I saw him with Bella. It is going to happen; it's just a question of when".

We all stiffened as we heard Edward climb into his room from his window.

Then the new vision overtook me.

Edward was glaring at the new girl in class murderously. I sighed. He was going to fight this. But I was ecstatic when I saw her glaring back at him, not intimidated or shy. She was a fiery one and would not be held down by anyone, least of all, my stubborn brother. I loved her already.

"What's with all the anger and hatred?" Jasper mused about the emotions coming from Edward's room.

"He hates her because she has Bella's scent. He thinks she doesn't deserve it."

"Oh no! Will he not like her then; you said he would love her…" Esme was worried about him again.

"He just needs time Esme. I will make sure he comes around." I assured her.

**

* * *

EPOV:**

I knew it was not possible, yet I felt my head about to explode form a headache. It felt as though a throbbing sphere the size of a golf ball had made its way exactly between my eyes. The run back home was not soothing the way I had expected it to be. It did nothing to reduce the anger and frustration pent up within me. Most irritating, was the memory of_her_staring back at me, those cruel eyes piercing through me, mocking me. I shook my head, physically trying to dislodge her thoughts from my head.

I turned my thoughts to my only safe harbor, the only form of peace I had in this forlorn existence…my angel, my Bella. I fell back on my couch as I remembered the first time she had fallen asleep in my arms… the first time I had stayed the night at her home… after our day of revelations in the meadow… the way she fit perfectly into my arms, against my chest… the peace on her innocent face as she dreamed of me… the way she called out my name… proclaiming her love for me… the way I had hummed her lullaby for her the entire night.

Insistent knocking on my bedroom door rudely interrupted my memories.

I suddenly realized that I had been humming Bella's lullaby out loud.

"Come in," I called.

Carlisle entered, staring at me intently, checking if I was all right.

I sighed.

I was fine, and yet I could never be fine ever again. How could I be? When I had lost the purpose of my existence, the reason for being? The only reason I was alive, if that was indeed what I was; was because I intended to bear my punishment quietly, to suffer the way my fragile Bella had, to writhe in agony with the knowledge that the one I loved could never ever be with me, neither in this world, nor in the other.

Carlisle's gaze was firmly on me and I knew he thought I might be hearing his thoughts, but it was impossible. There were no thoughts that I was interested in, especially not the ones, which held sympathy for a monster like me.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked as he finally realized that I was indeed not privy to his thoughts.

His shoulders slumped as he announced "We have decided to move to Russia, starting tomorrow."

I nodded.

It didn't matter what part of the world I existed in, my own hell would follow me everywhere.

"Everybody has agreed. We do not want to cause you any more pain. Even Rosalie is more than willing to relocate. We should all be in Russia by the end of the week. You need not suffer anymore. I believe it is best for your sanity as well as her safety." He concluded.

It took just a moment for his words to truly register.

"What did you just say?" I asked.

Carlisle looked at me, enunciating each word deliberately, as if willing a child of three to understand.

"We are leaving for Russia, Edward. We don't want you to be in pain."

I snorted at the juvenile idea that a change of location would help ease my anguish but that was not what concerned me right now.

"Whose safety are you talking about?" I asked despite the fact that I had a very good idea about where this conversation was headed.

"Edward… you know who I am talking about. The girl in the cafeteria, the one who smells like Bella…"

I hissed involuntarily.

"So you want me to move because of_her?_" It was insanity.

"Edward, we know how difficult it must be for you to face your singer again…"

"She is NOT my singer!" I roared.

How could they compare that insignificant little creature to my Bella? She was an angel; this girl was merely a human. There was no comparison, how could they not see it? It was not just Bella's scent and her blood that affected me; it was Bella herself- her kindness, her forgiveness, her innate ability to endure and to love completely. This _girl_ was nothing like that, surely that much was obvious.

"I'm not leaving Carlisle," I stated.

"Please don't make this anymore difficult than it already is, Edward" he begged.

"I'm not going to change the way I lead my life for a mere mortal Carlisle! She may have Bella's scent but that is all she has, nothing more. She doesn't even deserve to have that fragrance around her, let alone deserve to stray my attention anywhere near her. Don't worry about her well being, I would never so much as glance at her, let alone hurt her. She's not worth it." I finished.

I could see from his face that he was unsure, but I was not to be swayed.

"Are you sure?" he asked

"Yes" was my only answer.

He sighed.

"Well, if you ever change your mind, you only have to let us know…"

I pushed my thumbs into the non-existent pulse points at my temples as the golf-ball threatened to enlarge to the size of a football.

"I have to run," I said as I jumped out of my window, hoping to get rid of the nasty uncomfortable feeling which had settled itself into the pit of my stomach.

**

* * *

APOV:**

We had heard the entire conversation between Edward and Carlisle in the living room. When Carlisle climbed down the stairs, I saw the first genuine smile grace his lips in almost fifteen years.

"Worked like a charm," he grinned.

"I am never wrong Carlisle. I knew he would refuse to move if you hinted at his weakness at being able to be near her. Despite the similarity in their scent, Edward refuses to even acknowledge her; he thinks it would bring down Bella from the pedestal on which he has placed her. Now, he is going to try his best to prove to himself that this girl is nothing like Bella, for which, he is going to be spending a significant amount of time trying to understand her," I added with a smile.

"Great thinking squirt!" Emmet boomed as he ruffled my hair.

For once, I was too happy to mind.

"Alice, what is her name?" Esme asked.

I did not need to be an empath to feel the hope and joy leaking out from Esme.

"I think it'll be better if you found out from Edward himself, mom," I teased.

"Alice! Tell me, now!" she commanded.

The only response I gave her was my giggles, but suddenly I was overcome with the vision of Edward and me holding one of our silent conversations. It seemed the entry of this new girl would change a lot of things, starting with Edward resuming the use of his now dormant abilities.

"Umm, guys? Edward is going to start reading minds again, starting tomorrow…"

A stunned silence greeted this forecast.

"Are you sure, sweetie?" Esme asked.

I groaned. I was tired of this question.

"Yes Esme, I am quite sure. And I suggest all of you start practicing on how to block your thoughts because I will not spare anyone who manages to bungle up my plan. Under no circumstances is Edward supposed to find out about my vision or our twisted little attempt at ensuring his attention towards _her_…" I trailed off.

"For the last time Alice, what _is_her name?" Esme asked with a barely suppressed growl and I knew there was no way I could hold onto the secret of the name of my future sister.

**

* * *

EPOV:**

I ran home as the sun came up, Bella's image firmly etched in my mind.

I had needed to isolate myself from my family, from the constant fear and apprehension that they exuded, not that I read their thoughts, but at this point, it was not really necessary. I could see it in their faces, in each and every one of their actions; their concern for me, which was futile especially since I didn't deserve it, but far more infuriating, was their fear for _that_ girl, the one who wore Bella's fragrance irreverently and insolently, unaware of whom it represented.

I quickly changed my clothes, not caring about what I threw on and walked into the living room where my entire family waited, all eyes on me.

"What?" I asked as my calm demeanor became increasingly more difficult to maintain.

"You don't have to go to school Edward…" Carlisle trailed off.

"And why not, may I ask? I don't see the sun shining," I retorted.

He sighed.

"Edward, sweetie, you know you can take your time right?" Esme asked softly.

"For what?" I snapped.

She seemed to be at a loss of words.

"Edward, she…" Carlisle began.

"_She_ is NOT important" I finally exploded as my fists clenched involuntarily and I felt the sudden need to crush something to powder.

"Why can't you understand? Why won't you understand? She doesn't matter; she's nothing! She's nothing but a drop in the ocean, a blade of grass in the forest, mere background noise, a statistic, an insignificant anomaly! She means nothing to me; her blood means nothing to me…" I broke off, not knowing what more I could say in order to convince them.

"I believe him, Carlisle" Alice spoke as she walked up to me from her place on Jasper's lap and took my arm.

"I would have seen something if he didn't mean it. It will all be fine, there's nothing for you to worry about. Edward will be alright," she concluded.

I felt a rush of gratitude towards my favorite sister for her support, for her faith in me even when I had been far less than the brother she truly deserved for so long.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"No problem" she chirped, looking far too pleased with herself.

Before I could ask what that smug smile was all about, Rosalie cut in.

"Can we get going already?" she whined.

I nodded stiffly and moved towards the door, but not before Esme hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead.

I returned her hug and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze, nodding at Carlisle.

I never bothered to react when Emmet snickered at Esme's smothering, calling me 'momma's boy'. It was beyond me to be able to acknowledge such frivolous comments.

I closed my eyes, ignoring my sibling's daily banter, focusing on Bella's face, and the upward curve of her lips when she smiled, as we drove to school.

I was back in my own personal hell, and my angel was the only thing which kept me sane as I endured each minute under the mindless droning of so called "teachers", moving mechanically from one class to the next.

I was sitting quite unaware of my surroundings when I was assaulted by_her_ scent again but it seemed that the fates conspired against me further as a very loud and raucous thought filled my head.

_Holy shit, she's hot!_

As I battled for control of the predator within me, I was suddenly overwhelmed with a barrage of thoughts coming from the students sitting in the class with me. I forced the venom down my throat as I began to struggle against the chaos engulfing my mind suddenly after years of solitude. Between my thirst and the voices in my head, I felt completely bewildered.

What had gone wrong?

But I knew the answer to my own question… I could no longer see Bella in my mind… it was as though her memory had vaporized into the thin air as her scent had hit me…

_No_.

I tried to remind myself that it was not my Bella's scent; it was_hers,_ a cheap imitation of my Bella's luscious fragrance but somehow despite my inhumanly fast and sharp thought process and infallible memory I could not bring myself to conjure up Bella's face.

I covered my ears in a human gesture to block out the voices but they kept pouring into my conscience all the same, running together, garbled and incoherent. I needed to leave, I wanted to leave and yet the fates conspired, once again. The teacher walked in.

I did not know his name, nor did I care about it. All I could think about was escape, escape from the smell, from the voices, from everything… but I couldn't bring myself to utter a word, to move a muscle. It seemed my stone body had finally realized what it was and refused to budge from where I was.

I closed my eyes, and focused on trying to breathe in a slow, even rhythm but it was impossible. Her scent was everywhere and despite the fact that I was in total control, I couldn't ignore it, as much as I tried. My existence, which up to this point had been an endless pit of pain, now turned into a blur, incomprehensible and uncontrollable.

I had been relatively successful in tuning out people's thoughts and turning them into a mere background noise, something like the incessant buzzing of a fly in the past… but now I couldn't seem to control the cacophony of voices in my head. As a part of me struggled to gain my senses, the other idly wondered if this was what it felt like when a human went mad. I realized the reason I couldn't block out the thoughts was that I hadn't consciously tried to block them for years now. The reason I didn't need to do so was because I had been in too much pain.

_And you are not in pain now?_An incredulous part of me countered.

I was in pain, and yet Bella's scent somehow comforted me, it seemed to reduce the abyss that separated the dead from the undead, somehow made me feel that she was within my reach…

_Stop it!_

I commanded myself. Voices or no voices, my last thought definitely threatened to make me the first case study of a vampire gone insane.

How could I even for a moment compare _her_ to my Bella?

Again I shook my head, this time trying to make myself see sense in an impossible situation.

I willed myself, with all my strength to block out the voices from my mind. So fierce was my concentration that for a moment, I could completely block out every thought. In that moment, I could actually hear the silence, like the ringing humans feel in their ears after a loud blast. But still, even the brief silence was uncomfortable; nothing like the silence I had enjoyed these past few years. Slowly, the voices came back and settled into the low buzzing sound that one could hear in a crowded market.

"What is your opinion Mr. Cullen?"

I suddenly realized that I was being addressed out loud, not just in someone's thoughts.

_Sleeping was he? That's interesting… finally an imperfect Cullen…_

I realized it was the English teacher who had apparently asked me a question that I had missed in my frenzied state.

"Umm… I am not quite sure I understand what you asked Mr. Lawson…"

_Do you now? Well, I am sure I can give him enough rope to hang himself…_

How pathetic!

Apparently Mr. Lawson believed that one could only strive for perfection, not achieve it and it seemed he was hell bent on proving the imperfections of the Cullen children.

_Imperfections?_

_If only he knew…_

"We were discussing the controversial position that Wuthering Heights holds when it comes to the literary works of the Victorian era. Would you care to enlighten us with your views on the topic?" he sneered.

I felt a pain in my chest as though I had been impaled through the heart.

It was Bella's favorite book and as much as I had detested it, I realized I could increasingly identify with the characters and the decisions they made. I had thought of it as a hate story and yet I now realized that it was never intended to depict love in the conventional manner. The story showed the lesser known side of love, the dark, wretched, self destructive side of love which most people refused to believe, much less see in the world around them. I knew this kind of love all too well, for it was the reason I faced an eternity of endless pain.

"I personally agree with those who consider Wuthering Heights a classic of English literature. While most other classics, be it Romeo and Juliet or Pride and Prejudice, depict the ultimate triumph of love over all else, it is Wuthering Heights which depicts the fallacies of love and shows the true measure of destruction that love can wreck upon those ensnared by it. It does not romanticize the emotion of love. There is nothing romantically tragic about losing one's beloved and Wuthering heights gives an account of the dark and painful emotions that accompany love. The book gives a realistic description of love and its consequences, not an idealistic version of what it should be like" I finished.

_Might not have been asleep after all…_

"Would anyone like to contradict?" he asked.

He looked around the class, not really expecting anyone to speak up.

"I beg to differ," said a quiet voice.

I knew_that_ voice despite having heard it only once before.

_Beauty with brains? I doubt it… besides, how could anyone top what Cullen said…_

"Yes, Miss. Craft?

I found that the voices in my mind grew reasonably quiet; it seemed that everyone was focusing on her to voice her opinion and all eyes were trained on her. Although I never moved to see her face, I could see her clearly in twenty different angles from the minds of the children that curiously looked at her.

"Although Wuthering heights is a technically well written book, I personally cannot come to terms with the situations, characters and their decisions which it portrays. To put it bluntly, the plot of the story is illogical, the characters and their choices irrational. While some people may like to think that the book offers a realistic version of what love is, I think it offers merely a shallow and superficial view of love through characters which seem incapable of grasping the depth of true love, their actions portraying the warped and twisted way in which the author herself perceives love".

I felt the all too familiar rage creeping into me, possessing me, and taking control of me as I finally twisted myself to look at her in the face.

Who was she? This insignificant human whose residence time on this earth was just a pittance compared to mine, dared to disagree with me? What did she know of love? Of darkness? Could she even comprehend love the way I did, and to lose it the way I did?

"And you seem to perceive love correctly since you yourself are far more experienced in the matters of love and life?"

The words were out of my mouth before I could realize what I did.

The silence rang throughout the class, everyone's thoughts, including that of Mr. Lawson were too shocked to be coherent.

She seemed to be shocked for a second and though I wanted to read her thoughts, I was far too angry and far too busy trying to contain my rage to do so. Then she turned to look at me. While her face was calm, I could see the fire blazing in her black eyes, making them look like smoldering embers.

"Despite the irrelevance of my personal ideas about love, I think every rational individual would agree that love certainly does not entail cruelty and deliberate infliction of pain to the person one claims to love."

Her voice was cold, flat, completely detached and yet her eyes continued to burn into mine.

"That is quite enough. We will be concluding our discussion here. Before you go, let me remind you that your midterm assignment papers are due this Friday…" Mr. Lawson droned on for five more minutes before the bell rang for the lunch period.

I watched her leave the class, unperturbed, as though nothing had happened.

How was it possible? Did she not feel my hatred for her? How could she not notice it as she looked into my eyes?

I walked to the cafeteria, still trying to control my anger and the irksome thoughts in the background…

**

* * *

APOV:**

I was irritated.

Why couldn't that pathetic excuse of a Spanish teacher stuff it for a moment?

I had been happy,_really_ happy.

I knew that the vision of Edward locked in a staring match with _her_ had come true and it made me so happy to see that no last minute decisions had changed my vision.

She had looked at him.

She had stared back, she had stared him down.

I loved her.

I was very well aware of what we were and how humans instinctively shied away from us. Also, the murderous glare, which Edward had bestowed her with, was one that would have definitely intimidated the hell out of someone else but she was not someone else. She was meant to be with him. And I loved her simply for that reason if not anything else.

But as I looked into the future for another encounter that they might have, I found nothing but swirling smoke. Finally, I had a flash of a vision where I saw Edward in Denali.

No.

It couldn't happen.

I _wouldn't_ let it happen.

There was no way I was going to let my brother pull away from the woman he was meant to be with, just so that he could be drooled over by Tanya. Despite the fact that I loved Tanya as a member of our extended family, I had no intensions of letting Edward anywhere near her. While I completely trusted my visions and Edward's taste in women, Tanya's aggression regarding anything male within a fifty mile radius made me want to be on the safer side, no matter what.

I dived again into the murky waters of the future again, only to be disappointed again.

And now I had to tolerate the nasal high-pitched voice of Mrs. Brown trying so desperately to give her words a genuine Spanish lilt.

Jasper must have felt my frustration since he squeezed my hand and sent a much-needed wave of calm in my direction.

I smiled at him gratefully.

But I couldn't help my frustration and disappointment.

It seemed that today's little episode wasn't going to affect her and she had no intensions of getting into another encounter with Edward.

On the other hand, I knew Edward enough to realize that it was just a matter of time before he managed to come up with another convoluted reason to leave this town and her again just like last time…

Bella.

I felt a pang in my chest where my heart should have been beating.

My sister.

I couldn't help the guilt I felt.

I had failed her. I had failed as a sister; I had failed not just Bella but Edward as well. Despite having known the future, I had not been able to prevent it. I could not make that thickheaded _ass_ see reason. And I had left without saying goodbye. I had let that idiot drag me away, without saying goodbye, hoping that soon the faint, flickering vision I had seen of them together with Edward on his knees, begging forgiveness, would come true. But it never did. Instead the one vision I hoped would never come true had turned into reality.

I brought myself back to the present with a mental reprimand.

I knew it would do better to focus on the current problem than wallow in guilt, though Edward did enough of that for the entire family

I knew I would have to do something to change the future, to make their paths cross again. I had to make them realize their destiny; I would not make the same mistake I made with Bella.

Also, I knew this was exactly what Bella would have wanted. She had loved Edward with all her heart and she would have wanted him to be happy, no matter what. She had been the kindest and most forgiving soul I had known and there was no way she would have wanted Edward to suffer an eternity without love… now if I could just make _him_see that…

I had my work cut out for me.

While _she_ had no idea about her destiny, he had no intensions of complying with what the future held. In fact, he would fight against it with all his strength if he knew.

I sighed.

Lunch hour was less than an hour away.

I started to come up with new ideas to make them come together again as the next vision hit me.

I smiled.

Jasper felt my joy and gave me a confused smile.

I made up my mind about what I would do and saw the future shift. It wasn't exactly what I had wanted, but it seemed to be better than what I hoped for. I prepared myself for a very interesting lunch session.

On the way to the cafeteria, I had filled in Jasper about what I planned to do. He had to know, considering the fact that he was going to do all the work.

He had been initially confused, and then turned slightly wary when he understood what it would result in.

"Alice, are you sure about this? I mean we don't know how she would react, not that I care so much about her reaction as much as Edward's… after all these years his emotions are still volatile, they're all over the place. It won't take much for him to snap. I do not doubt you darlin', it's just that I am worried about what would happen if he did lose control…" he finished.

"Jazzy, I know what I saw; I also saw how he's going to react… its good baby. He's going to be happy about it!" I reassured him.

Jasper looked incredulous as he cocked his eyebrows at me.

"Trust me." I commanded him.

"I do." He simply replied.

I couldn't help the smile that stretched across my face. I loved an empath for a husband.

I saw that Emmet and Rose were already at our table, talking about their favorite topic, which as usual was Rosalie.

I knew that love was supposed to be blind, but in their case it also seemed to dumb, deaf and mute since I couldn't for the life of me understand how Emmet found the patience to stand Rose.

As always, people stared at us. We went to our table and sat down, ensuring to curb the reflex of wrinkling up our noses at the stench of human food in front of us.

But then something happened which I had probably never seen, period.

A guy across the room, staring unabashedly at Rose broke his gaze away from her to stare at the door.

_Never_had I seen a human to break their gaze from Rosalie willingly, it usually took a very menacing glare from Emmet for them to do so.

I turned to the door to see _her_walking in the room.

This time, I was the one to stare unblinkingly at her.

The first thing that I noticed about her was that she was tall, she must have been almost five feet ten inches tall, that was without her gorgeous calf length patent leather boots which ended in a good three inch pencil heels. The boots coupled with the skin hugging black pair jeans made her legs look sinfully long. She had a broad leather belt, matching her boots holding up the jeans while a plain cream colored tee with a broad 'v' neck completed her attire.

The outfit though simplistic exuded glamour and sophistication.

Her skin was an unusual tone, one which cannot be described in words. It was smooth, flawless without a single freckle and yet it wasn't white or pale, nor was it tanned. She had beautiful wavy jet black hair reaching right up to the waist band of her low rise jeans with eyes to match and full, sensual lips. She looked… exotic… there was no other word to describe her

Her gait was smooth, fluid as she took long yet graceful steps to the food counter.

By the time she picked a bottle of water and a box of fresh cherries and paid for them, it seemed like all the people in the entire room had their eyes focused on her.

She moved to the corner table, choosing to keep her back to the entire room as she settled down.

She was completely comfortable with herself, and acted like she was used to all the staring since she didn't seem to be bothered by it, but the fact that she didn't want to face the room made it obvious that she was looking for some privacy. That was the moment my beloved brother decided to make an entrance with a pained expression on his face.

**

* * *

Author's note:** Yes, it's a small cliffhanger, but rest assured, the next chapter is coming up very soon. Love, Katty.

_**

* * *

Fic Rec:**_ Alright, for all my beloved readers, I have decided that I will suggest a highly recommended piece of fan fiction in every chapter for you to enjoy.

"Hide and Run" by Savage7289 is a completed Edward/Bella story, where Edward is unable to control his thirst for Bella's blood after the first time he meets her in Biology. But instead of killing her instantly, he decided to kidnap her so that he can drink his blood over and over again. For more, read the story. It is a magnificent piece of work!


	5. Chapter 4: A Meddlesome Alice

**EPOV**

I walked into the lunchroom and again was assaulted by _her_ smell; it seemed like that she had just walked in. One furtive glance confirmed my suspicions as I saw her back, sitting at the same table as she had on the day when I first mistook her for my Bella.

I went and sat down with my siblings when Alice reached out for me.

_I'm so sorry Edward. I saw what happened when I was in class, but there was nothing much I could do. How are you holding up?_

So Alice knew that I was now hearing everyone's thoughts.

I nodded, not really wanting to alert the rest of them about it, but it was impossible.

Jasper was eyeing me cautiously and reading my emotions.

_Pain, confusion, irritation, anger… oh! You can hear me?_

He asked this in his mind and cocked an eyebrow at me.

I nodded again.

As usual, Rosalie was consumed with thoughts about herself.

_How dare he? I am the most beautiful person in this room. How dare he look away? And for what? Her? She's barely even ordinary…_

I shook my head in defeat. Some things never changed… even after fifteen years, Rosalie's mind was the same as it had been, shallow and callous. She loved Emmet, and yet she couldn't help wanting to be the center of attraction.

_What the hell is going on between them?_Emmet wondered looking at me, Alice and Jasper.

"I am fine Emmet" I replied. Might as well let the cat out of the bag.

Emmet gaped at me.

_Can he really… shit! Can you really…_

"Yes, I can! Now can we just drop it?" I asked irritated, looking away.

I suddenly felt a very shrill thought pierce me.

_He's sooo hot! Why wouldn't he look at me? It's obvious that he's single… just look at me once, he's not gonna be able to look away once he does…_

I turned my eyes towards the person with these thoughts. It seemed that I had a new fan.

She was a platinum blonde, no doubt a cheerleader judging by the length of her skirt with blue eyes. She suddenly seemed to look like a watered down version of Rosalie.

I turned away in disgust.

My punishment was never ending. I was barely hanging onto my sanity and now hormonal teenage girls were violating my mind. It had been always like this, yet I couldn't stand it. I felt control slipping away from my grasp, inch by painful inch.

_Edward!_

Jasper's mental cry brought me back; just as a wave of calm overcame me.

I looked at him gratefully.

It seemed ironical how our roles had been altered.

There was once a time when I monitored his thoughts to ensure that he didn't lose control, now he was doing the same by monitoring my emotions.

Similar thoughts seemed to be running through his head and when he realized that I was listening to his thoughts, he gave me an apologetic look.

_I'm so sorry Edward._

I shook my head at him. He had nothing to be sorry about. He had gained exceptional amount of control since Bella's eighteenth birthday debacle. I knew he kept on blaming himself for what happened, but I knew better. He was simply the trigger, which caused a series of events that ultimately lead to…

It was me, my selfishness that had put Bella in danger… not just once but repeatedly. Simply by being in her presence I kept endangering her. And when I finally overcame my greed for her, when I finally tore myself away from her, things were too far gone for me to be able to control.

I felt the pain overcome me, engulf me. I could feel Jasper throwing me calm vibes, but it was not helping me.

I felt Alice stiffen beside me, and suddenly started to repeat the declaration of independence in her mind and surprisingly, Jasper seemed to be doing the same. I couldn't fathom what could have made them want to block their thoughts from me at this point when I suddenly heard a crash.

I saw a girl sprawled on the floor, near _her._Books were strewn around her along with some gooey mess. I figured she was trying to balance a tray laden with food as well as her books when she tripped.

Her thoughts were incoherent with sheer embarrassment.

I saw _her_ stand up from her chair and then kneel down, stacking the books on the floor, wiping the mess off of them with a tissue.

After a brief silence, the room went back to the low hum of lunchtime chatter.

I saw her gently help the girl from the floor.

"Are you alright?" she asked gently.

I was shocked. I had hated her so much that I had never associated kindness with her character.

I was shocked when I heard Emmet burst into his booming laughter from beside me as he looked at the embarrassed girl.

Emmet was not the most tactful man I knew, but it was unlike him to so brazenly laugh in public. Rose did nothing to stop him, instead smirked in that irritating way of hers.

I suddenly _felt_ a sharp stab of anger.

Taken aback, I turned to where it had come from. It was _her_.

But it was Emmet who was the target of her death glare. Again, I saw the fire in her eyes that I had only just witnessed in the English class. Only, now she looked so enraged, the fire in her eyes threatened to turn into an inferno.

Finally, Emmet seemed to realize that he was now the addressee of _her_rage when he suddenly stopped laughing; looking horrified, confused, and though he'd never admit it, scared. His face was a conundrum of emotions and I could feel Jasper trying to hold back his laughter.

I wanted to read _her_thoughts, but the only thing I could get hold of was the anger clouding her thoughts.

"I'm sorry. I think I spilled some chowder on your boots." The girl whispered, clearly mortified, blushing furiously, which appeared as uneven red blotches on her face.

_Why can't I just turn invisible right about now?_

The girl thought, looking at her feet.

"It's fine. I didn't even notice. Are you okay?"_she_ asked with surprising gentleness and concern that belied the rage in her eyes.

The girl just nodded.

"Would you like to sit here?" _she_asked, while wiping the gooey mess from her boots.

"I don't want to bother you…" the girl trailed off.

_How can she be so nice? I just ruined her shoes…._

"It's nothing. You can join me if you want to," She said as she sat down, taking the opposite chair to the one which she had previously occupied, clearly so that she could continue to glower at Emmet who suddenly was extremely interested in the food in front of him and I knew he was seriously considering eating it, just so that he didn't have to look at _her_ again.

"I'm Stacie," the girl mumbled.

I suddenly found myself wanting to know the name of my tormentor, just so that I could put a name to all my anger and hatred.

"I'm Arianna," She replied easily.

"You're new here aren't you?"

"Yes, this is just my second day at school." She answered.

_People are so wrong about her. How can they say such horrible things about her? She's new and alone, and yet so helpful…_

I didn't know what to think but I took in the thoughts around me and I caught some very vicious thoughts polluting the air.

_Oh that witch! I tried to be nice to her yesterday and she looked at me like I was something she stepped into and now, she goes befriending that fat klutz! Well, she's never going to be popular with the company she's keeping. So much for her foreign looks and accent!_

I was not surprised to see that the thoughts belonged to none other than the platinum blonde who had previously invaded my mind.

"You're not from around here are you?" Stacie asked, trying to keep up the conversation.

"No. I was born in Madrid and schooled in London since I was eleven." She replied.

"So that's why you have such a British accent, but the way you speak…" Stacie trailed off.

She smiled.

"I know what you mean. I have a slight Spanish lilt to my words. I was not only born there, but my mother was part Spanish and part Italian. My father on the other hand was a full blooded British, hence the British accent."

"Wow! You're so, so… European," Stacie finished awkwardly.

"It doesn't really help. I can't ever seem to fit in anywhere." She exclaimed.

"So why did you move here? There are rumors that you live here alone, without your parents…"

_God I hope she doesn't get mad at me…_

I suddenly felt intense pain from where _her_thoughts should have been. I focused all my energies on trying to read her mind but all I could find that her thoughts were painful. No matter how hard I tried, the only thing that I could pick from her mind, was the tenor of her thoughts, which were undoubtedly painful and sad.

For the first time, I saw the fire die down in her eyes.

"They passed away in a car crash many years ago," she replied in a steady voice but her thoughts seemed to be anything but steady.

Her thoughts kept shifting and I could feel the pain, loneliness and sense of loss that accompanied them.

I was beginning to get angry again. What was with all the _feeling?_

That was Jasper's forte, not mine.

What was wrong? Why couldn't I hear what she thought? How come I could only _feel_the emotions accompanying her thoughts?

_Way to go Stacie! Couldn't have picked a better question to ask her._

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know…" she trailed off.

"It's alright. It was a long time ago," she assured her, but it was clear that it was not alright. The pain still lingered.

That was when the bell went off for the next class.

"Well, I guess I'll get going. It was nice to meet you. I'm so sorry… for everything… I was hoping we could be friends…" Stacie was tripping over her words.

_Why did I have to ask? She's too cool and beautiful to want a friend like me. I know Fiona tried to get her attention and she never even replied. I'm such a fool…_

"I'd like that very much Stacie. I'd love to be friends with you," she answered.

_What… really? Umm…_

"Well, umm… thanks Arianna"

"It's Anna for friends Stacie," she replied.

I could see the smile that stretched on Stacie's face.

"Anna," she said, testing the way it sounded.

_She_ just nodded, sealing their friendship with a smile as they walked out of the room.

**

* * *

APOV**

"You what?" Emmet growled.

I knew he was trying to look intimidating, but the stupefied expression on his face kept him from doing that.

I giggled.

"What is with all the shouting in the house?" Esme entered.

"Alice… she… this little imp… and that traitor of hers…" Emmet was bordering on incoherency.

"You're not making sense, son" Esme stated the obvious.

"She and Jasper made me laugh!" Emmet pouted, looking much like a five year old.

Esme raised one of her perfect eyebrows, indicating her confusion, yet her lips were already curled into a knowing smile. While she loved us all like her own children, anything that might make Emmet pout was far too much to resist, even for motherly Esme.

Jasper burst out laughing, encircling my waist with his hands, burying his head in the crook of my neck, trying to stifle his laughter, but it tickled me so much, I joined in with my own peals of laughter.

I heard a large 'humph' somewhere. I guessed it was Emmet again.

Esme had a full-blown smile on her face now.

"I really would like to join in you know, so if you could explain…"

Her smile widened showing her perfect teeth and dimples, eyes shining with amusement.

"Not you too!" Emmet roared.

"You are going to pay, Jasper Cullen. You are going to pay big!" he threatened.

Jasper laughed even harder.

"Oh get over it Emmet! She's going to love you no matter what," I told him.

"You're a fine one to talk. You made me look like a pig headed jock in front of her!" he hissed.

"For the love of God, will someone please tell me what happened?" Esme interjected.

"Fine. I asked Jasper to make Emmet laugh in the cafeteria," I simply stated.

"I think you are forgetting the fact that you made me roar with laughter when my baby sister's friend was on the floor with her ass in the air… and which made her hate me!" Emmet was practically whining now.

Esme still looked confused.

Jasper, having finally controlled his laughing fit stepped in to explain.

"Alice saw Anna befriending a girl from school. She also saw that Stacie was going to trip and decided that we needed to draw Edward's attention back to Anna, so Emmet served the means to an end," He elaborated.

"You sent Emmet a dose of humor to make his laughter stand out so you could focus Edward's attention towards Anna?" Esme asked in disbelief.

"What purpose could that possibly serve?" she questioned.

"Yeah! Like I said, you made her hate me!" Emmet complained.

When it came to teasing everyone, Emmet was relentless; no doubt he would also tease Anna when she became a part of our family, but for now he was horrified by the doubt that his new baby sister might not like him.

"The purpose it serves is quite simple. Edward saw how protective she was of the girl who tripped. For the first time, he saw her kindness. I will not let him hate her!" I promised.

"Besides, he's going to… enjoy Emmet's reaction!" I smiled as I remembered my vision from the Spanish class.

"Enjoy?" Esme quizzed.

"I saw Edward laughing!"

Now everyone was shocked.

"Laughing?" Esme asked in a whisper.

I felt my heart cry out for her. All of us had suffered with Edward, but Esme had suffered for Edward the way only a mother could.

I placed my hand of her arm, squeezing it.

"Yes Esme, he's laughing. He's going to be so happy…" I assured her.

"He's laughing with her?" she questioned again.

"No, he's not. But that time will come soon. I promise."

This was a promise I would keep it at all costs.

**

* * *

EPOV**

I skipped the rest of school. I just couldn't take it.

The thoughts of everyone around me, those of my siblings, her scent and her emotions… her kindness…

It was too much. I felt ready to fall apart by the overload of it all. So I had taken the easy and fast way out.

My Volvo.

There had been a time when I couldn't bear to look at my beloved car. It held too many memories of Bella. It had held the remains of her fragrance in its leather, the warmth of her flesh in the seat she used to occupy… but as the years had passed the fragrance and warmth had faded till they remained just in my memory.

Being the masochist that I was, I had started using it again when I had risen from my stupor. Now I reveled in all the memories I had of Bella and me in this car, every time I drove it.

So I had taken my car pushed it past a hundred and thirty miles per hour as I cocooned myself in the memories of my angel. Her face swam in front of my eyes and as always I lost my consciousness in her beauty, her expressions.

Her smile was the most beautiful thing in my world and for all my wretchedness; I couldn't help but be thankful for my perfect memory that provided me with her smiles whenever I wished. But today something was different.

As I recalled her smile, I suddenly thought of the twinkle in her eyes when she had been a part of a particularly hilarious joke. The mischief in her eyes, the amused expression, the way she bit her lips to keep from laughing out loud.

An unbridled image of Emmet in the cafeteria came to my mind- it was indeed comical. The shock on his face at his own outburst had been funny, but more sidesplitting was the look on his face when she had glared at him. The mightiest vampire I had known, scared silly by the furious look in the eyes of one mere mortal girl.

I burst out laughing.

The next moment I hit the brakes hard.

The car wobbled on the slippery road and then screeched to a stop. I gripped the steering wheel tightly enough to make it crack as I gasped to catch my breath. The sound of my own laughter had shocked me, it was so foreign, and it felt unnatural. How long had it been since I last laughed?

I knew the answer to my own question- Bella. The one answer to all my questions, the final destination of the convoluted journey of my existence, my heaven and hell… Bella.

So why couldn't I get rid of the image of blistering black eyes staring into my own?

_We need to talk._Alice called out to me in her mind.

I shook my head. I was in no mood for a conversation.

_Edward! I know what you're trying to hide. You need to talk about it. At least talk to Carlisle if you won't talk to me. Better yet, talk to Jasper; he'll know exactly what you are going through…_

Alice continued her assault with her thoughts as she followed me into the house from the porch where she had been waiting.

But I refused to discuss it. It was just an incongruity; the fact that I could feel the tenor of emotions of the girl with Bella's scent was merely a coincidence.

_Do you honestly believe that?_ That voice within prompted me again.

_How many exceptions have you had to your gift? And what are the odds that such an anomaly occurs with none other than the woman with Bella's scent…_

The voice continued taunting me.

"No!" I screamed.

Suddenly I was aware of the fact that six pairs of golden eyes were focused on me.

I saw myself in their mind, and frankly I appeared quite deranged. My hands pulled at my hair, my eyes were wild and black with thirst and my breathing hitched abnormally.

_Edward…_

"Edward, son?" Carlisle thought it was necessary to address me aloud since I had not responded to his mental call.

"I'm fine," I lied even as my breathing evened out.

"No you're not," Alice firmly commented.

_I'm sorry Edward, but if you won't tell them, I will._

"Edward can feel Anna's emotions," Alice stated as blandly as if she were dishing out today's weather forecast.

_How intriguing…I wonder what it means… how he is holding up…_

_Oh my poor boy!_

_What the hell?_

_Just another thing to add to his freakiness…_

_How? It doesn't make sense. Why didn't Alice tell me before hand? It must be difficult for him…_

_It's for your own good, Edward._

Oh for the love of God! Here I was, desperately hanging onto sanity, bordering on insanity and they wanted an in depth dissection of my empathic abilities… something I couldn't accept or understand.

"Why did you hide this from me?" Jasper asked, though the question was not meant for me. He was looking pointedly in Alice's direction.

"I hid nothing Jazzy. It was not my secret to tell."

"You just did," I reminded her.

"Because there was nothing I could say that would make you discuss this rationally," She clarified.

Now I truly lost it.

_Rationally?_

"Alice, I'm a _vampire_. I can _hear_others thoughts. I just found that I can _feel_ the emotions of one and only one girl. That girl _coincidentally_ happens to have the scent of the only woman I truly loved, who was human and happens to be dead, because I left her to _protect_her from myself. What about this situation is rational, pray tell me?" I seethed.

"Edward, calm down. Alice is right. We need to understand what is going on. This morning when you left, you neither heard our thoughts, nor felt our emotions. Now you are hearing the thoughts of everyone around you and feeling their emotions," Carlisle reasoned.

Much as I wanted to, I couldn't find it within me to disagree with him. He was my father, friend and mentor. And I knew a part of me wanted his help to sort things out. But I didn't point out the fact that I couldn't feel everyone's emotions. I could only feel _her_emotions, as much as I loathed it.

"Tell us how it all began. Maybe we can figure out what triggered this response," he added.

I described my bland day as best as I could till I reached the part where she had walked in to the room and that perverse thought had filled my mind. I wanted to leave out our little verbal altercation regarding Wuthering heights but I knew if I tried to do so, Alice would gladly fill in the gaps. I ended up repeating our arguments verbatim for the benefit of the family.

Everyone tensed when I told them of the sharp stab of anger I had felt when Emmet had so uncouthly howled with laughter as the clumsy girl lay on the floor in a heap.

"Jasper, what do you make of all this?" Carlisle asked.

"I really am at a loss of words. I have never in all my existence heard of something like this… a mind reader suddenly developing empathic qualities?... towards the one exception to his mind reading abilities?... it's impossible to fathom. Edward, are you sure you were fully focused on reading her thoughts? Are you sure you didn't read her angry thoughts and think you felt that anger?"

"Do I look like I was born yesterday?" I returned.

Despite himself, Carlisle smirked.

"Well, it seems we have a new challenge at hand. Edward, can you feel other people's emotions? Can you feel what we are feeling right now?"

Before I could attempt an answer, Alice answered for me.

"No he can't. He can only feel _her_emotions… right?" she was grinning.

There was no point in lying.

"Yes" I said brusquely

"Edward, tomorrow, I want you to focus on Anna and what you feel from her. Try to read her mind and see what you find. Be sure about what you find… whether it's her thoughts or emotions. Jasper, I want you to focus on Anna too. Pick up the minutest emotions you can. Then I want the two of you to compare what you feel from her. I want to see if both of you feel the same things from her or not. If you do feel the same emotions from her, it's quite possible that Edward may be developing some empathic qualities…" Carlisle laid out his plan as Jasper nodded his agreement.

"There is no need for that. I am not going to let you turn a minor disturbance into some grand experiment of yours," I spat."There is no need for any of you to give her any undue attention. Neither will I. Let's just all pretend that today didn't happen."

"You can't honestly mean that man! I mean you started hearing voices in your head after 15 years! That's no small thing…" Emmet tried to convince me.

"No Emmet, nothing out of the ordinary happened today. I am a mind reader. So I read people's minds. What's so surprising about that? I've been doing that for years…"

"Not for the past fifteen years, you haven't…." Rosalie quipped.

I turned to growl at her,

"Don't go there…" I warned her.

She would take the hint if she was smart.

She glared at me but said nothing.

"I've had enough of this madness. I am going for a run," I announced and left them there in the living room.

**

* * *

NEXT DAY**

* * *

"Would you please just hurry up?" Alice whined.

"Why the big rush today?" I chided her.

I knew that she was excited about the "experiment" on that girl despite the fact that I had refused. She planned to get Jasper to tell her everything and then force me into doing what she wanted as well. Damn nosy pixie! I was not going to fall for her antics today.

The first thing I did on reaching the school was to withdraw myself from the English class. I knew Alice had already seen my decision but was surprised to find that she neither objected nor told anyone else in the family. Hopefully, she was not as obsessed with this girl as I thought she was. I had no intention of facing her again. Not that I was afraid of her, or that I couldn't control myself… I just didn't want the distraction. She was an irritating glitch in my life and I was not about to let her take over my time and thoughts just because of that simple fact.

My day passed with surprising ease as I once again mastered my control on my ability and reduced the voices to a mere buzzing sound in the background. However, I found myself wondering what would happen at lunch today, after the fiasco it turned into yesterday.

As usual, we occupied our regular table in the corner, unappetizing mess that passed for food, piled on the table. Again her scent hit me, but I was already getting used to it. I didn't flinch nor stop breathing. I was pleased with myself, nobody could tell a discernable change in my outward demeanor. I stole a glance towards her; she was lost in a conversation with her newfound friend.

I saw her pick up a bottle of water and a garden salad and move towards a table in the far corner of the room. She was obviously one of the new generation girls that tried to avoid any kind of fat in the food, obsessed with their BMI. Her bespectacled friend on the other hand, picked up macaroni with cheese, a generous helping of apple pudding and a tall glass of chocolate milkshake. She was slightly on the chubby side, obviously had a sweet tooth, but the weight wasn't unhealthy. In fact, I was sure her BMI was normal compared to some of the reincarnated skeletons that made the cheerleader teams.

_Edward, focus on her thoughts,_ Jasper's mental comment reached me.

There was no way I was going through that plan of theirs. I shook my head in refusal. Jasper could play whatever silly games he wanted to, but there was no way I was going to be a part of it.

_Be stubborn if you want to be, but I know you will come around soon. Might as well skip the rebellion and get on with it_. Alice chided with me.

_Pain. She is in constant pain. And guilt. It's overwhelming, and this is when she is not consciously thinking about it. It has become a part of her. What has she been through?_

I looked at Jasper but realized that he was completely focused on Anna. I might as well learn to start saying her name, but,_pain_? She was in pain?

Jasper was focusing on the conversation going on between the two girls and I found myself unwilling listening in.

"… and that's Fiona, she's the captain of the cheerleading team and the school's teen queen. You might want to be friends with her, she's a lot cooler than me."

When I heard her speak, I found a cold suppressed fury in her voice.

"Do you honestly think that I would like to be friends with the likes of her? With her IQ of 15 and EQ of 10? Being cool and beautiful doesn't matter Stacie, it's what's inside you that counts. I'd pick you to be my friend a million times over her. Why do you think you're any less brilliant than her?"

Again, Stacie seemed to turn red with embarrassment.

"Well, I'm fat and ugly and bookish and I don't really do much except study and I thought you'd want to be friends with someone cooler…" She trailed off miserably.

"Stacie, I want you to be my friend. That's all there is to it. Now, I don't want to hear another word about this. Deal?" the intensity with which Anna looked at Stacie made her blush more, but she smiled as she confidently replied, "Deal".

"So, if we're friends for good, I can I ask you anything I want to right?"

I could detect the gleam in Stacie's eye, like a child on a Christmas morning.

"Of course" came the casual reply.

"Well, tell me all about your boyfriend." Stacie seemed to be eager to get into one of the 'girly' conversations.

It was hardly surprising except the sharp stab on pain I felt from her. I saw Jasper wince from the corner of my eye. Anna seemed to have frozen in the process of taking a gulp of water. Slowly she lowered the bottle from her lips even as she consciously worked to ease her heart back into a regular rhythm.

"I don't have a boyfriend, Stacie."

"Oh come on! I know you haven't been here for long, but you must have had someone special back home in London. Tell me all about him!" Stacie was whining.

Again the pain peaked. I could hear her heart beat getting uneven. I heard Jasper's labored breathing.

_This is madness. It's just a normal teenage conversation. She might miss her boyfriend but with this intensity of pain? Something isn't right with this girl…_

I felt something churn in my stomach. She missed her _boyfriend._Why wouldn't she? With all the romantic notions harbored by a teen she was bound to feel sad.

"It's not like that. I didn't have a boyfriend. I've never wanted one. I don't see the necessity of a man I my life," her voice was quiet but firm.

_Hmmm, that's unexpected… someone as beautiful as her not having a boyfriend? But maybe we can remedy that…_

"Well, I have a suggestion on who is the perfect candidate for your boyfriend" Stacie was smiling again.

"And who might that be?" Anna asked, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Let's see. You are incredibly beautiful, smart, and prone to being a loner."

"Who said anything about me being a loner?" Anna asked indignantly.

"The fact that you chose me to be your friend speaks a lot about your tendencies. Besides, have you even tried to make any new friends since we became friends?" Stacie countered.

Anna shook her head silently.

"I think I know the perfect candidate for you! Edward Cullen!" Stacie chimed.

I felt the earth shudder to a halt as four vampires held their breath. I felt myself tighten the reins on my runaway control.

"Who's that?" came Anna's disinterested question as she forked a piece of lettuce from her salad.

"Edward Cullen is the youngest son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. Dr. Cullen and his wife have adopted five children, two girls and three boys. There are funny rumors going on about them, including one where they say that the Cullen kids are dating each other. But Edward, is most definitely single, singularly good looking and quite a bookworm, keeps to himself, kind of dark and broody. Girls love him because he never makes friends, he never dates and he's virtually unattainable. Fiona's been trying to get his attention for ages. You'd both make a perfect couple!" Stacie finished joyously.

"Sorry, not interested." came the non-committal reply.

"Really? Well, just to let you know, Edward Cullen also happens to be the one who indulged in that battle of words with you regarding Wuthering heights" added Stacie cunningly.

Suddenly, I felt myself to be the object of attention of a stabbing glare. I refused to meet her eyes. Instead, I pushed the food around in my plate, trying to keep up the charade of eating, but I could still feel her eyes on me. Then suddenly it hit me. Why should I be hiding from that girl? I turned my gaze to her, eyes locking with her. What I found surprised me beyond measure. Where I had once seen the obsidian fury, I now found the cool rippling waves of the nighttime ocean.

"He's a rich, spoilt, arrogant guy, always shuns company and never talks to anyone. Lots of girls try to get his attention but he completely ignores them. Since he challenged you in English, maybe he's interested in you!" Stacie continued her monologue.

I found her staring into my eyes, and realized that I was unable to tear my gaze away from hers.

"He's not spoilt and he's not arrogant. He hides himself beneath the mask of arrogance and aloofness," came her soft voice. I still couldn't tear my eyes from hers.

"And you would know this because…" Stacie probed.

"Because it's in his eyes, Stacie; it's the pain in his eyes."

I felt my world spin out of control.

**

* * *

Author's note:** Let me know how you like it! Love it or hate it, say it, out loud!


	6. Chapter 5: False Alarms

**EPOV:**

_It's in his eyes, Stacie; it's the pain in his eyes._

Oh God! What was wrong with the world? What was wrong with _her_? Why couldn't she just be afraid of me like the others? Why couldn't she think of me as arrogant? Hell, she could even flirt with me if she wanted… anything, _anything_normal, just not the soul stirring look in her eyes, not the understanding of my pain… anything, anything _but_ that.

My thoughts were jarred by a sudden joyous "_Yes_!" from Alice. She was smiling like the cat that got the canary.

_Now you see Edward, she's special, just admit it. Why won't you try to get to know her? Just do as Carlisle asks Edward. If we understand her, we might just understand what's happening to you._

I was spared from giving her an answer as the bell rang just in time.

_Think about it!_ Was her parting thought as I struggled to maintain my poise.

The rest of the day passed in a blur, as was becoming often.

However, home did not bring the relief I needed; instead it brought endless questions and mindless discussions, all, somehow associated to me.

"So, what did you feel from her today Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," I lied.

Jasper gave me a piercing look.

"Are you sure you did not feel _anything,_ Edward? I mean, the emotions coming off her were quite intense… it was a bit difficult for me."

Alice was by his side immediately, looking deep into his eyes, the way they always do.

I decided to give in.

"I might have felt a bit of pain but I'm not sure."

Jasper raised his eyebrows.

"A _bit_of pain? I could barely manage to keep a straight face and you say you _might_ have felt a bit of pain? There's obviously something you are not telling us," he accused.

"Pain? Why would she be in pain? Did she get hurt at school?" Carlisle was looking quizzically at me.

"No Carlisle, I've never seen anything like it in all my years. Every individual has a general temperament, the way his mood is when everything is normal. While Emmet's boisterous, Esme is calm and gentle, you are contemplative, Edward is…"

"Grouchy and grumpy, a general pain in the ass with a good deal of morality and prudishness thrown in," Emmet grinned.

Rosalie smirked and Alice glared daggers at him.

"What I am trying to say is that unless and until some event upsets a person, they radiate their normal feelings. Some people are naturally joyous while others maybe cranky, some are naturally reserved others are always in an agitated state of mind. The emotions this girl had swirling around her were no less than a maelstrom. She was feeling pain and guilt to a level which I have never seen before. And it was her normal state of mind. It was not some reaction to something that happened in class, it was a part of her, inherent to her. I first thought that maybe she had some kind of chronic injury or something but I soon realized that it was not physical; it was definitely emotional. And guilt, it poured off of her in torrents Carlisle, I can't imagine what she could have done to feel so much of it. What's more, outside, she is completely composed, not a hair out of place, not a frown on her face, looking at her and feeling the turmoil within her was surreal. Whoever she may be, whatever she may have done, she is not a happy person," Jasper concluded.

"Come to think of it, it's kinda perfect really… I mean Edward here is grumpiness reincarnated, so no wonder his girl is no different, though I personally might have chosen someone with a brighter outlook to life…"

"This is coming from the man who married Rosalie? If Rose here can count as little miss sunshine, I think Anna is perfect for me!" I couldn't help my angry retort.

A snap second later the meaning of my words dawned on me. Everyone was looking at me as if I had suddenly grown a pair of horns. I squeezed my eyes shut and my hands balled into fists. What in the name of all that's holy is wrong with me?

When I opened my eyes again, everyone was still flabbergasted, all except Alice who was again smiling as if she had just stepped into the world's largest shopping mall. That did it.

"Why do have that silly smile on your face Alice? What is it that you are not telling me?"

Suddenly a nervous looked crossed her face and then she firmly started translating the national anthem into Arabic in her mind.

"You can't hide it from me forever Alice, sooner or later I am going to find out, why not just tell me?" I asked wearily," What is it about this girl that you are not telling me?"

Suddenly she was in my face, glaring at me and I knew from the fierce look on her face that I had touched a nerve.

"You listen to me, and you listen to me good, Edward Cullen," she growled, "I am not going to stand your stubbornness one bit, you hear? It's better if you don't butt into things that you don't understand. I love you, but sometimes you are so thick headed I can barely tell you apart from Rosalie!"

"Hey, don't you dare drag me into his mess!" Rosalie protested.

Suddenly, Alice's eyes went wide.

The vision that played out in her mind caused a chill to run down my spine. For one long terrorizing moment, we stared at each other, refusing to believe what we saw. Then, I bolted.

I ran faster than the wind, not knowing what compelled me to do so, allowing my unconscious brain to guide me to my destination, hoping, begging, and praying to whoever might listen that I be on time. A thunder storm gathered in the skies, the usual dull gray clouds turning into a menacing black shade, the gale winds whipping the tall trees this way and that while dirt and debris flew to blind anyone with an eye sight.

I continued to run, even as the rain started to pour in torrents and the ground under my feet turned to muck, nearing my destination as a sharp pain seared my chest and I skidded to a halt. Despite the pain, I smiled, because if I could feel her pain, at least she was still alive. I moved closer, taking refuge in the darkness caused by the storm in the early afternoon. Soon, her scent hit me, so much more potent, so much stronger in the rain.

She stood at the edge of the cliff, her toes sticking out into the air at the precarious end. Her head was tossed back, eyes closed, face relaxed, so much so that one might think she were meditating. The wind whipped her hair about, the dark mass resembling the clouds gather above; her hands were stretched out at her sides resembling a bird who might be preparing for flight, or a woman waiting for her lover's embrace. I wanted to call out, to pull her back from the ledge, to scream at her if she was insane, but I stood there like a fool, frozen in my place as memories from a decade and a half assaulted me, visions that I had caught in Alice's mind that still haunted me.

Bella stood at the edge of the cliff, the geography unknown to me, meaning she was somewhere on the Quilette lands. She looked below into the churning waters of the ocean, looking at peace with herself. Deliberately, she removed her jacket and closed her eyes, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth and then jumped into the abyss below.

I gasped as I opened my eyes again. A flash of lightning streaked across the sky and the rolling thunder followed. I focused on the girl in front of me. I knew that if she moved foreword by a single inch, she would fall where there would be nothing but the unyielding treetops and the hard forest floor of the canyon below to stop her fall.

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of the thunder; she stared into the sky unblinkingly, defiantly even as the raindrops pelted her face. A slow sardonic smile appeared on her face. She looked into the sky, eyes fierce as if mocking the heavens, daring the elements to their worst, to try and destroy her. Her opens arms now seemed like an invitation, as if she welcomed anything that might obliterate her.

Slowing, infinitesimally her arms lowered and she took a step back. Her shoulders sagged as if Atlas had suddenly realized the burden he was carrying and she fell to her knees, head bowed, hair obscuring her face. I knew she was crying when I could taste the salt of her tears in the thick air, even as waves of her agony rippled through me.

_What has this girl been through?_

**

* * *

ArPOV:**

It was no use.

After a year and a half of insomnia, I knew when to simply give up the fight of trying to entice the sandman into my night. I picked up the alarm clock from my side table, its fluorescent hands pointing at fifty minutes past two in the morning. Great, I had been in bed for less than three hours. I flung the covers off me and simply stared at the ceiling of the room. I had always been a light sleeper but the insomnia was driving me insane. It wasn't the lack of sleep that bothered me, I could function surprisingly well despite not having slept in forty-eight hours (I knew this from personal experience), no, it was the boredom that was killing me.

I moved into the bathroom and started brushing my teeth without switching on the lights. My eyes were perfectly adjusted to the night and the soft glow from the street lamp outside was enough for me. I always avoided switching on the lights at nighttime. There was something very blasphemous about the harsh artificial lights breaking into the velvet darkness of the night, I don't know why I felt like that, but it just seemed so _wrong_.

I kept the door of the bathroom open as I stripped and stepped into the shower. I turned on the nozzles full blast and stood under the torrent of water, hoping it would comfort me, knowing nothing could actually bring me relief. I dried myself and put on my silk bathrobe and then did the inevitable. I switched on the lights.

I looked at my reflection in the full-length mirror. If it had been anyone else in the mirror, I would have been impressed. A woman, tall with flawless honey skin and raven hair looked at me. The eyes matched the color of her hair and the facial features were perfect, beautiful. Full, supple glowing skin, without a spot or freckle, no shadows under the eyes… perfect, too perfect. I felt like throwing something at the mirror.

It was abnormal, how could anyone look so bloody perfect with less than two hours of sleep? Not just one sleepless night, but for the past one and a half year? Most people would feel that they had been dragged backwards through a bush with the kind of sleep I got (or rather didn't get). I opened the medicine cabinet to look at my prescribed sleeping pills, but as usual, after five minutes of speculation, I gave up, closing the cabinet. I had an inherent fear of adding anything foreign to my body, be it a capsule, an injection or a tampon for that matter and I distrusted medicines in all forms. I climbed down the stairs and went into the kitchen to start the coffee maker. I couldn't sleep anyway so I might bloody well get something out of it.

I looked around the home I had bought less than three weeks ago. The estate agent had been shocked to see a girl barely of legal age making such a purchase. The house was expensive and he had meticulously gone through my bank records and other personal documents before he had finally gotten the deal signed. The fact that it was only one week after my eighteenth birthday didn't help matters, but at that point I had taken a vicarious pleasure in his discomfort, enjoying my freedom and so called delayed rebellion. My trust fund ran into hundreds of millions and after my eighteenth birthday, there was no stopping me.

Part of me felt guilty for indulging myself the way I did, spending such an obscene amount of money on a house I intended to keep only for a year, but the house was beautiful, reminiscent of the Victorian era and of course, the money had never mattered. I simply wanted to get through the last year of school, as per mandatory and go to college. The only reason I was attending school was that without the certificate, I couldn't get into a college despite the fact that I could have cleared the written exams as well as interviews for any number of reputed colleges two years ago. My private tutors in London had been kind, but ruthless when it came to education. They demanded excellence and I was happy to provide it. I had looked at education as my ticket to freedom and was eager to grasp it with both hands.

I poured the strong Arabica coffee into a mug and sipped it slowly, the bitterness of it a welcome reminder of my freedom. In London, I had been forced to have tea, as was _custom_. I pulled my thoughts away from London, the memories would leave a far more bitter taste in my mouth than the coffee could mask. Instead I thought of this little town I had moved into.

I tried to think of some buried logic as to why I was here when I could have gone to any city in the United States, or even the world for that matter, but I could come up with none. I had instinctively chosen this town without logic or reason so I gave up, thinking that maybe fate had wanted me here. I had thought that being in a small town would bring me some peace, help me gather my thoughts before I move to a university but I realized that being in a small town could be incredibly lonely if you didn't fit in… not that I ever cared about fitting into a social mould ever before. I mentally snorted at the idea of trying to fit in anywhere.

Eighteen years of my life had taught me one thing beyond doubt, that somehow I was an eternal outcast, never belonging to one place completely, always out of balance. As a child I had tried so very hard to be accepted, only to realize that it was far more painless and effective if you rose to a level of power that could not be questioned, let alone be rejected. It had been a very long time since I had ever let anyone's opinion affect me, however, in a town so small, constant gossip and snide comments did get irritating after a while.

I thought of all the rumors I had heard about myself, starting from me being the child of a billionaire who never paid attention to the upbringing of his daughter to being an undercover secret agent on a mission to save the world. I actually laughed out loud at that one.

My thoughts wandered to Stacie and her open mindedness. I was surprised that she actually wanted to be friends with me, in a platonic way rather than having some underhanded reason for personal gain. I was somewhat irritated with her lack of self worth but then I should know how much importance the world gives to looks and beauty. It would sound hypocritical for me to say that looks didn't matter when obviously I had been graced with more than average looks, but there was a time when I was not considered beautiful, there were still people who would look down upon me because the color of my skin was honey brown and not milky white. Just because the fashion world had suddenly dubbed bronze and mocha skin colors as sexy didn't mean that I never faced discrimination in life.

I had faced a lot of discrimination early on in my life, at an age when the word 'discrimination' was not in my vocabulary nor did I understand its meaning. I sighed. The mug in my hand was empty and the bitter taste in my mouth had nothing to do with coffee. I started my laptop with an intention to research my college applications, hoping that the endless early dawn hours would somehow crawl by.

**EPOV:**

I lay on my couch, listening to Mozart's Magical flute but it couldn't calm me down. The events of the previous afternoon left me in turmoil. I had been able to do nothing, focus on nothing but what had happened at the cliff.

Again and again, as if watching a movie from the 40's I saw what had happened frame by frame. The movie went on and on, in some kind of an endless loop and what frustrated me to no end was that I was unable to make no sense of what had happened.

What was that girl up to? Was she suicidal, or just plain crazy? Was she some kind of an adrenaline junkie who got a thrill out of doing something so recklessly dangerous? I wanted to shout at her for her lunacy, I wanted to yell at her for making me restless, I wanted to scream at her for giving me such a fright …

I still couldn't imagine what prompted me to rush to her side after Alice's vision. Yes, she was standing at the edge of a cliff; she could have jumped and died, but so what? Lots of people committed suicide day in and day out; I couldn't bring myself to care about any of them.

Yet, something about her standing at the rim of that overhang had scared me. I had not really recognized that feeling but now when I reflected back, I understood. I had been scared shitless. Had I been alive, my heart would have been pounding, stuck in my throat. What I couldn't bring myself to understand was why I had been so concerned about that infernal girl. Ever since the day she stepped into my world, everything had been going wrong and now I was _concerned_ for her?

Again, I tried to focus on the music flowing around me and tried to drown out my own thoughts along with those of the others.

**

* * *

NEXT DAY:**

**

* * *

ArPOV:**

It seemed that the difficult night I had was bound to turn into a difficult day. I was informed by the school clerk first thing in the morning that I would _have_to take physics lessons for my minor as biochem was full and so was organic chemistry. I did not mind that I couldn't minor in these subjects as I sufficient knowledge of both subjects to know that it wouldn't affect my chances of picking molecular biology as a major at university; it was physics that bothered me.

Physics might have been the divine law by which the universe worked, but it seemed my brain was completely unaware of this fact; nor was it accommodating in trying to grasp its concepts.

Biology passed in a daze, nothing new there and English was another entirely painful story. Lack luster was the best description I could come up with. When would this year pass? I felt like I would die of boredom before I could actually make it through it. I breathed a sigh of relief when lunch finally came. I met Stacie at our regular table with a cheese sandwich and lemonade.

"Hi! How was your day?" she asked.

I shook my head; it was the best I could manage.

"Well, I'm sure it was better than mine. Algebra and Spanish literally killed me," she said wrinkling her nose.

I smirked as I bit into my sandwich. It was good.

"Cheese?"

I nodded and swallowed.

"Why does that surprise you?" I asked opening the bottle of lemonade.

"Well, you don't look like you would be eating a lot of cheese or stuff like that. But since you are obviously not watching your diet, try the chicken. It's really good today".

She pushed the plate towards me. I struggled against the ambush of memories, even as I pushed her plate away.

"No thanks; I'm a vegetarian," I tried to control my breathing.

"Seriously? Like, PETA and stuff?" she asked.

"Well, I don't go around waving banners and distributing pamphlets to people to become vegetarian. I turned vegetarian at the age of five and stuck to it. No chicken, no fish, no beef, not even eggs."

"Why?"

I sighed.

"I was with my parents in a rustic village in some corner of Spain; it was a small weekend getaway. I don't even remember the name of that place. We were shopping in the afternoon market place and somehow, I ended up wandering into a butchery. There was no one at the front of the shop and I pushed open the door to the back just in time to watch a chicken get slaughtered".

I couldn't help the shudder that ran through me.

"I could never get that image out of my head and I swore off non-veg since then. Even at that age, my parents gave me the freedom to do what I wanted. I know to most people its normal, just food, but every time I look at a piece of chicken or beef, I can't help but think of the living breathing animal it used to be and I just can't seem to bring myself to eat…"

"Stacie? Hello?"

She was staring right past my left shoulder at something with a slightly glazed look in her eyes. I snapped my fingers in front of her. It seemed to break her out of her trance.

"What got into you? You were staring off into space."

She hung her head and mumbled something I couldn't quite make out.

"A little louder please."

She looked mortified.

"Umm…uh..Ed-edward Cullen is staring at you…"

I turned to look at the 'Cullen's table' as people called it, to find the bronze haired boy staring at me with an intense but unfathomable look. Even as I looked at him, he didn't blink; he just held my gaze for an infinitely long moment after which he seemed to snap back to reality as he started to pick at his food again.

Stacie was giving me a weird look.

"Wonder what's going on in that head of his; he had such an _uncomfortable_ look on his face," I mused.

Stacie giggled.

"Only you could say that Edward Cullen looked uncomfortable, Anna."

"Well, what did it look like to you?" I challenged.

She leaned across the table to whisper one word.

"Hot!"

I rolled my eyes.

"You should really count your blessings Anna, girls in this school would kill to have Edward Cullen even look at them. Maybe you should try to talk to him."

"Yes of course; the fact that some hormone riddled guy was giving me the once over _should_ send me into a fit of rapture," I groused. "Besides, like I said, he looked uncomfortable, kind of lost and baffled; as though someone had hit him on the head too hard."

Stacie giggled at that comment, but then became serious again.

"He's not some hormone riddled guy, he's _Edward Cullen_ and I'm telling you, he looked intense. Like he was drinking you up with his eyes!" she gushed.

"You've been reading way too many trashy romance novels. I'm going to the library. I'll see you in gym. What do we have today?" I asked as I gathered up my bag and leftovers to trash them.

Suddenly, Stacie was grinning like a vixen again.

"We have the pool today. You get to show off yourself in a swimsuit!"

"Great! Can't wait for all the morons here to look at me like I am a piece of meat."

There was something completely unsettling about men ogling my body, like I was some inanimate object. I couldn't imagine how some women could be appreciative of such glances. I moved towards the library wondering if I could beg off from getting into the pool by faking stomach cramps.

**

* * *

EPOV:**

Their thoughts were unrelenting.

_You really should be careful Edward, you're gonna freak her out… what were you thinking? Staring at her like that…_

_Hormone riddled! That's rich; I'd like to see him hormonal for once…_

_She completely blew him off… good for her…_

_Just talk to her damn it… before she comes to some ridiculous conclusion… you're going to lose your chance to get to know her and why she affects you so…I'm warning you… you'll regret not getting to know her…_

"Oh, just shut up all of you!" I growled.

Again my brain started playing the entire conversation in loops.

I'm a vegetarian… age of five… not even eggs… get slaughtered…_uncomfortable…_

This was an irony; if there had ever been one- _she_ was a vegetarian.

It had sounded so startling to hear her describe how she turned vegetarian... the slaughter of one chicken had been enough to awaken her conscience... it had taken years for me to realize my folly when I had left Carlisle to turn to my natural diet of human blood. I shuddered as I remembered my days of rebellion... dark days and even darker nights spent in a haze of bloodlust... hundreds of victims with minds reeking of evil, no better than mine...their blood would have been poison to an innocents' lips but to me it was ambrosia which could slake my thirst... but there was no escape from their thoughts which saw me as a monster, as the devil incarnate...and it was in the last seconds of their lives that they begged forgiveness, redemption, atonement... it was these thoughts I could never escape... these thoughts which had made me want to cleanse myself of their blood and my greed... it was then that I made my way back to Carlisle... defeated and disillusioned, looking for absolution which I found decades later in the form of my Bella... again the pain reared in my chest and I firmly tamped it down.

As I entered the indoor swimming pool with a feeling of trepidation... it was the newest addition to the gym, courtesy of a donation made during the rat race for the position of mayor during the elections last year...I could hear the excited sounds of the senior year students around me... Emmet was with me in the changing room, his thoughts obsessed about how Rosalie would look in a swimsuit provided by the school... the thoughts of all the boys around me were the same... they thought of scantily clad girls and not so innocent touches under the surface of water away from the stern gaze of the instructor... the images in their head along with the overpowering smell of chlorine from the pool outside were suffocating me. I decided I would skip the class, not at all excited by he idea of being in a public pool where all the scents were alarmingly clear.

I easily faked a note from Carlisle, requesting the coach to let me skip the class for medical reasons, but to my distress, he made me sit on a bench by the side of the pool instead of excusing me completely. I resigned myself to watching two hours of blatant lasciviousness and screwed my eyes shut tight, willing all the incessant voices in my head to die down, but it was difficult, most of them had their heads full of horny fantasies, stoked further by the half naked bodies. I knew I featured regularly in many of the female fantasies and the things I did in their thoughts made my stomach clench in disgust.

I continued sitting on the bench, meditative even as the class ended and every one headed back to the locker rooms. I breathed a sigh of relief as my torture for the day had run its course. I finally rose from the bench, hoping the locker rooms would be empty soon when I realized that something was seriously wrong. I felt a chill run down my spine, but there was no denying it... the slow thump I was hearing was someone's heart beat... and it was coming from the bottom of the deep end of the pool.

I dove into the pool without waiting to remove my clothes and immediately, the chlorinated water saturated with a variety of human scents assaulted me. In an instant I was beside _her_and a fraction of her second was enough to take in her appearance. She was at the bottom of the pool, lying as though sleeping on the tiled floor, hands held one on top of the other on her stomach, eyes closed, lips slightly parted with a stream of minute bubbles coming out, hair flared behind her like a cloud of ink. Her scent tormented me despite the stench of chlorine and anger flared through me.

_Did the fool have a death wish?_

I crushed my lips to hers.

It took me less than a second to rise to the top of the pool with her in my arms, but it was the longest second of my life.

A part of my brain was trying to figure out exactly how long a human could stay underwater before it becoming life threatening. Another part was trying to gauge how long she could have possibly been underwater; obviously no one had noticed her in the pool when they had left. Had she truly been underwater since before they left the pool? How could the humans be so incompetent? Another part of me was berating myself for my decision of staying outside the pool today… surely I would have noticed her if I had been in the pool.

Meanwhile, my body was acting on autopilot. I had my arms securely around her waist, her arms trapped between our chests. I had pried apart her lips with my own and was forcing the air that was useless to me but essential to her, into her lungs.

Again, my mind was working overtime, remembering everything I had learnt about CPR during my medical training. I was trying to calculate how much pressure to apply to her chest without cracking her ribs and puncturing her fragile lungs.

As I broke through the surface of water, I became aware of a gentle pressure against my chest. With a jolt I realized that my eyes had been closed and she was trying to push me away. I broke the contact of our lips but kept my arms firmly around her as I used my feet to propel us to the edge of the pool. I felt her anger sear through me as she struggled against me.

"What in the blazes do you think you're doing?" she spat.

Her anger made me see furious. She manages to drown herself in a swimming pool and she's questioning my actions?

"I happen to be keeping you from flooding your lungs for which you can thank me later on."

I easily maneuvered her to sit on the edge of the pool and quickly hefted myself out.

"Thank you? Thank you? You bloody pervert! How dare you put your hands on me?" she screeched.

My tenuous hold on my temper was lost with her statement.

"How dare you? You were lying at the bottom of the god forsaken pool, damn it! Is this you usually react when someone saves your life? Are you mental?"

At this point, Alice rushed in.

_I'm so sorry. I came here as soon as I could but…_

To the bedraggled girl, she handed a large towel.

"Are you alright?"

"I would be if I wasn't manhandled by some lunatic," she bit out.

"Manhandled? What happened? Edward did you…"

"Your charming brother here tried to take advantage of me in my weak moment," she fumed as she toweled herself off right in front of us with no sense of propriety.

I was much too angry to reply. It took all of my formidable restraint to not step forth and slap her.

"Advantage? What happened?"

_Why is she reacting like this? You saved her, right?_

I paid no attention to Alice's mental barrage of questions.

"Weak moment? You were having a _weak moment_, lying at the bottom of the pool? You drowned and I saved you and now you are trying to frame me for indecency?"

What kind of a crazy woman did I get involved with? Why was she making these insane accusations? Surly I had done nothing wrong.

"I was meditating you fool! It's an underwater relaxation technique. What kind of a girl do you take me for? If I had been drowning, do you think I'd lie quietly at the bottom of the pool like sleeping beauty?" she sneered.

_Edward, I'm going to calm her down, but please keep your anger in check. If this gets out_ _of hand, there could be serious repercussions_.

Jasper's mind was going through a scenario where she made a formal complaint against me and the local police got involved. Our ability to relocate every few years depended on a complete absence of our names from any criminal database. Any change in this 'clean' status could lead to problems. I couldn't believe things had gotten so out of hands. I could feel the waves of calm he was throwing at us from out side the perimeter where we stood. I could feel Anna's anger abate slowly as her breathing slowed down and her heartbeat returned to normal. She was confused by the sudden change in her emotions.

She directed her gaze at me.

"Just stay away from me, or you'll regret it!" she threatened.

I ground my teeth together to keep from scoffing at her and saw her disappear into the girls' locker room.

"Let's get out of here before things get worse." I knew Jasper wanted to leave as quickly as humanely possible.

We got into my Volvo and rushed home. Both their thoughts were occupied with what had happened but I was in no mood to listen in. I was still seething with anger.

_Pervert? Lunatic? Manhandled?_

Of all the insane, utterly ridiculous, incredibly foolish…

"Edward, I know you are angry but could you please just try to calm down? You're making things a bit difficult for me," Jasper pleaded.

I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down as we got out of the garage.

"The rest have gone to hunt. Carlisle has a late night shift and an operation to perform." Alice replied to my unspoken question when we entered our empty home. "Now, what exactly happened back there? I saw you pulling her out from the bottom of the pool, so why did she react like that?"

"How am I supposed to know? I heard a heart beat coming from the bottom of the pool and dove in, she was there with almost no air left in her lungs. I forced air into her lungs and was planning to start CPR but she started screaming at me the moment we broke through the surface of the water. Under water meditation, she says! I've never heard of such a thing! And why would she choose the school swimming pool for her inhuman antics? It's not like I can hear her thoughts…"

I felt Jasper send a particularly large wave of calm towards me.

"Actually, I have heard of underwater meditation." I looked incredulously at him. "It's amazing what you come across while browsing the Internet. It has become quite a popular idea these days. A few companies offer facilities for underwater meditation in specially designed tanks with oxygen cylinders for prolonged periods of relaxation. Some people however prefer to meditate the natural way while holding their breath underwater. That is apparently what she was trying to do when you, in all your chivalrous glory decided to save her from herself." He was trying hard not to laugh.

I, for one could find nothing remotely humorous in the situation.

"How do they come up with such revolting ideas? Do they enjoy playing with their lives? Something could have happened to her! She could have lost consciousness and then died! How could she take this so lightly? And to do so willingly and deliberately! What was she thinking?" I couldn't help but vent my frustrations.

Alice must not have been guarding her thoughts because I saw the vision she had been keeping from me since a long time.

_I was walking on the shore of lake Ontario, with Anna by my side. We were barefoot, our hands barely touching. Her face was serene, tranquil. She looked like she wanted to be with me at that moment._

_I turned to her and asked her "What are you thinking?" when the vision ended. _

Almost immediately, a new vision started, seamlessly from where the previous one had ended.

_She turned to look at me and I was shocked by the look in her ebony eyes. I could see my reflection in their depths as she reached up to touch the side of my face with her warm palm. Her thumb gently stroked my cheekbone as her other hand found mine and intertwined our fingers._

_She closed the distance between us and I could feel her fragrant breath on my face, warm like a spring breeze. "You" she smiled as she drew impossibly closer, "I was thinking of you" and her lips met mine._

**

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Author's note: **Do you like it? Let me know! Next update coming soon! Love, Katty.

_**

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Story rec: **_Check out "the Blessing and the Curse" by The Black Arrow. It is an all-human story, with All the Twilight characters except Alice and Jasper.

Edward Cullen and Bella Swan have been inseparable since birth; only problem is Edward is possessive and domineering, overtaking each and every aspect of Bella's life to the point of oppression. After her teens, Bella leaves town to escape the stifling presence of Edward, but now she has to go back. Esme Cullen was her mother's best friend had taken her place when Renee died, leaving a young Bella behind. Now, after all these years, Esme is dying and her last wish is to see Edward and Bella together, happy. What happens when Bella pretends to be Edward's fiancée, when she has left her real fiancée Mike Newton behind in the city. What will happen when she is once under the influence of Edward Cullen?

This story is completed. There is a very interesting twist to Edward's mind-reading abilities, though I will not ruin the surprise for you. It is an exhaustively long story, with intricate descriptions of places, events and people. The complexity of Edward and Bella's relationship, as well as their different perception of it is what makes the story priceless. Read it!


	7. Chapter 6: Moving On

_She closed the distance between us and I could feel her fragrant breath on my face, warm like a spring breeze. "You" she smiled as she drew impossibly closer, "I was thinking of you" and her lips met mine._

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**EPOV**

I stood sock still. I couldn't have moved even if I wanted to. This was what she had been _hiding from me?_ Like missing pieces of a puzzle, every thing started falling into place. Every unexplained look shared among my family, every out of character comment from them, every seemingly pointless action turned meaningful as I realized what was going on.

I advanced on Alice and grabbed her by her shoulders.

"You knew? You knew something like this would happen and you didn't tell me? Have you lost you mind?" I shook her roughly and suddenly Jasper was in my face.

"Take your hands off her, Edward!" he looked thoroughly menacing and I knew my brother was not joking when I heard a low warning growl in his throat. I released Alice and stepped back. He started rubbing her arms as if to soothe her though I knew I hadn't hurt her and leveled an accusing glare towards me. I was far too pissed with Alice to feel sorry.

"Why didn't you tell me? How could you keep something like this from me? Don't you realize how dangerous it is? This isn't one of your games to bet on, Alice!" I raged.

Alice broke away from Jasper's protective embrace, eyes burning with suppressed fury. Now she truly looked like a vampire rather than the little pixie I adored. When she spoke, her voice was tightly controlled with barely masked anger.

"Yes, I knew about this. But you know what else I knew? I also knew what _your _reaction would be like. I knew you would run away from her. I knew you wouldn't give her or your future together a chance. So I took that chance for the both of you! Don't you understand? Here is your chance to be happy! You can't go on for all of eternity alone. And don't even try to tell me that you are happy because we know that you aren't. Edward, you spent more than ninety years alone before you found Bella, but destiny is giving you another opportunity at life! Take it and live a little again…" she begged me.

Before I could answer, the rest of the family returned from the hunt. They had heard Alice's tirade from afar while approaching the house. I could make out from their thoughts that they all knew of Alice's vision.

"You knew?" I accused Carlisle, "you knew and you didn't tell me. Why did you betray me? I trusted you more than anyone and you kept something like this from me?"

_I'm sorry Edward, but I agree with Alice on this matter._

"I didn't tell you because you didn't need to know Edward. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you running away prematurely from what could be the beginning of a new life for you."

I couldn't believe my ears. As much as I hated that Alice kept something so vital to my future from me, it was Carlisle's deception that hurt the worst. We shared an unspoken bond, one of a maker and his first-born. In some ways, our bond was stronger than the one he shared with Esme. His blatant disregard of my choice regarding my future hurt me more than anything else.

"A new life? What a cruel joke! I am already dead! What could have led any of you to believe that I would condone something like this? Let me make one thing absolutely clear to each and every one of you. I cannot and I _will _not form any kind of relationship with Anna. I am not interested to form any new bond with anyone outside this family. I will not let any of you manipulate me into a future with anyone" I gave Alice a sharp glance before I continued, "and now I think I will take up Carlisle on his offer to move to Russia. I will go and start packing."

I turned to go to my room but Carlisle's hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"We are not going anywhere Edward. Not before you give yourself a chance to find love again. We made the mistake of moving the last time you insisted. We won't make that mistake again."

_Listen to him man, it's for your own good_…Emmet urged me silently.

"Do you even know what you're asking me to do? You are asking me to continue on this course when the future indicates that another innocent human may get involved with me? Have you forgotten what happened last time?" I felt my wounds rip open as I continued. "Did you all forget my Bella so soon? How could you forget what I did to her? I thought you considered her a part of this family and now you can't wait to replace her?" I saw Esme flinch visibly at my bitter diatribe but it was Carlisle who responded.

"You know very well that we all loved Bella. She was like a daughter to us and we still continue to miss her. She will always be in our memory but it is time for you to move on. It has been a decade and half since she passed away, and it's time for you to find new love. Bella would have wanted to you to move ahead. All these years, we never forced you to do anything against your wishes, but now fate is giving you a chance and we will not let you walk away from it, son."

"Have you forgotten what I did to her? I ruined her normal happy life and destroyed her! You may have forgiven me for my sins but I have not! I love her and will continue to do so until I am freed of this miserable existence. And there is no chance in hell that I would ever replace her, or subject any one else to the horror of my being. Now, I ask you again, when are we moving to Russia?"

A dead silence greeted my question.

_I am sorry son, but we will not be moving anywhere for the foreseeable future. Please try to see reason Edward. You will not sway me this time. Though I wish for you to stay, I cannot force you to do so._

I saw a steely resolve in his eyes and I knew that nothing I could say would change his decision. Of course, the rest of the family would follow his lead. I looked at the faces of the people I had called family for over half a century and made my decision. I knew my choice would hurt them, but what they were asking of me was inconceivable.

I took a deep breath to steady my voice as the words I thought I would never speak left my mouth.

"It seems that we are at an impasse. I am sorry that you don't agree with me but I cannot let the vision I saw come true. In time, I hope that you will all realize that what I did was for the best. You are my family and will always continue to be so, but I cannot stay in this town, knowing what it will bring to pass. I am afraid that I will have to leave you behind. There is no other choice for me. When you do decide to leave this town, I will join you if you want me to. Till then, it is best if I take my leave."

I saw Jasper's shocked face and Esme's pain at losing her son. I felt sorry for putting her through the trauma, but there was no other way. I saw Rosalie's resentment and Emmet's dazed expression. I poured all my energy into keeping their voices out of my head. If I heard any of their thoughts, I would not be able to leave. Carlisle was saddened by my choice but he would stand fast with what he thought was best for his son. It was Alice's reaction that surprised me. Her face was a stone mask and her eyes were cold as ice.

"It is for the best," she intoned coldly.

I turned and walked out the front door, with nothing but the clothes on my back. I knew that if I hesitated even for a second, I would never be able to leave. For the first time in all my existence, I was completely alone, but somehow, the solitude did not comfort me.

I felt numb. Hollow. Empty. What was I supposed to do now? I had grappled with this question ever since I had woken up to this endless half-life. It was Carlisle who had given me a reason to continue, he had been my guiding light. I had gone from one day to the next till they had all fused together, till I found no difference between night and day, spring and autumn, life and death. I existed for the simple reason that there was no way for me to die.

Had there ever been a more dismal reason for someone's existence?

I had continued in the hope that some day, I would attain a level of control similar to that of his, that some day I would be able to help mankind, that I would finally have a purpose in my life. Decades went by and I had lost my patience to develop enough control to be in a hospital.

Instead, I embraced my inner monster to try and turn into an avenging angel, so I might punish those who escape their judgment day. I then returned defeated and disillusioned to Carlisle and once again, I continued with my cursed existence, making my family my sole reason to continue, that was until I hadn't met Bella.

She had stormed into my life, unsuspecting and unassuming, turning it upside down, wreaking mayhem upon my self control, taking apart the façade of humanity I had built with decades of perseverance inch by painful inch. I had tried everything in my arsenal, I tried to scare her, I tried to understand her, I tried to ridicule her, I tried to hate her, but in the end I couldn't fight her. I loved her like I had never ever loved before, with every fiber of my being and every lost bit of my soul.

And then I had foolishly gone and lost her. No, not lost her, pushed her away, pained her to an extent that she sought out the ultimate relief in death, to heaven, the one place where I couldn't follow her. I deserved to be in hell, to burn and rot eternally, of that I was sure. I tried to seek the peace in death, tried to go to Italy, but for the first time, Rosalie's mocking words found purchase in my conscience. She had challenged me to face my existence as a penance to my Bella's death, the suffering I had put her through and being the masochist that I am, I had taken up that challenge.

I continued my existence, with every day a brutal reminder of my loneliness so acute that I felt a constant ache in my chest. The guilt overwhelmed me, her loss tormented me and still I went on with her words echoing in my mind, demanding that I was never allowed to hurt myself. Her wish was my command.

But now; now I was clueless about what to do. Now, I had lost my family, the only human veneer I had was lost. No longer did I have the soothing monotony of day-to-day life to keep me sane, no longer did I have any obligations to the world, nothing left to keep me grounded. I felt like felt like a ship in the mid sea, with no anchor to moor it, no destination to reach, and no purpose to fulfill.

It had only been a few minutes since I had left home and I realized the enormity of Carlisle's influence in my life. He had given all of us a purpose, a direction in life and now I had lost the last thread to civilization. I was no better than any of the animals roaming in the forest.

I had no idea how long I continued walking in the dense forest without a heading until finally I stopped and sat down. Not because I was tired, that was physically impossible but simply to break the monotony of putting one step ahead of the other.

I curled up against the bark of an old tree, folding in on myself as I felt the questions attack my mind again and again. Who am I? What is my purpose? Why do I continue this pointless, soulless existence? Would I be reduced simply to a parasite, which leeched life from others for continued existence while giving nothing back to the world?

I closed my eyes and turned to the only source of reason I had. Bella. As soon as I thought of her, she was there, right in front of eyes, smiling at me and for a second I felt peace, as if nothing was wrong.

Surely, I could spend an eternity simply looking at her, thinking of her? But no, there is no peace for the evil and soon the feeling of contentment vanished and again the hollowness returned to my chest. What was I to do?

She was right there in front of me, looking at me with concerned eyes, but I could not find comfort in their depths. I felt a stinging sensation at the back of my eyes and my throat choked up. I wanted to cry.

"What do I do?" I croaked out. "Tell me, please!" I begged. I would go mad, no, I was going mad. Maybe insanity was a fitting punishment for all my sins.

And then she smiled. My breath caught in my chest, I knew she wasn't real, but in this moment she looked so real, so alive. I could almost hear her heart beat, feel her warm breath rushing out. Angelic, she looked absolutely angelic. Maybe she would put me out of my misery.

"Let go, love," she whispered.

I stared at her, not believing what I saw. It was just an illusion, my mind finally losing its grip on reality.

"You need to let go of me, Edward."

I shook my head. "No."

"Yes love, its time to let go."

"I can't! Please, don't leave me!" I begged. I would be nothing without her.

"I could never leave you Edward, I'll always be with you. But I have found my peace now; I know you always loved me. And that is all I ever wanted. But you need to go on."

I wanted to reach out, grab her and never let go. I would do anything, do anything she wanted; but I couldn't let go. Her memories were the only thing I had left now.

"I can't go on without you. You are all I have. I will never let you go!" I sobbed.

"I loved you Edward".

"I know, I love you too… I'm so sorry, sorry that I hurt you, sorry that I let you go… but I won't make that mistake twice. I won't let you go!" I growled fiercely.

I learnt from my mistakes and would not repeat them twice. I would never let go of her.

"We loved each other, but it wasn't perfect. It wasn't true love Edward; it was first love, it was young and tender and immature. You still need to find your true love. I'll always be with you, but you can't hold onto me, you can't hold back time and you can't change destiny," she whispered.

Her eyes held all the warmth in the world, all the love that I so badly needed. I wanted to do nothing more than wrap myself in the cocoon of her love and forget who I was, what I was.

"Our love was true Bella, it was perfect, it was forever. I ruined it; I destroyed it! It was my fault. I would do anything to undo it, to bring you back! I would do anything!" I was sobbing uncontrollably now. How could I go on for an eternity like this? It was too much; I couldn't take it anymore.

"I can't let you do this to yourself anymore Edward. I have to go, even if you won't let me. Be happy, my love. You deserve it, and I'll always love you. Always."

And with this last promise, her image started fading.

"No!" I screamed, "Bella, don't leave me! Please! Don't!" I was sobbing so hard that I was choking up; I couldn't breathe. But no matter how hard I cried, no matter how I begged, she was gone and there was complete blackness, I couldn't see anything. It was almost as if one by one, my senses were deserting me. My strength was gone, my will was gone, any sense of comprehension was gone. I did the only thing I could. I curled up and continued to sob.

Finally, I was aware of strong arms holding me. Gentle fingers were running through my hair. I was completely disconcerted; I had no idea where I was or how I got there. All I remembered was the blinding, crushing pain of Bella's farewell, the empty blackness and the suffocation. I had lost my sense of time as well, it could have been a minute or an eternity.

"Edward…" the voice of full of love and warmth.

Slowly, Carlisle's face came into focus.

"Carlisle?"

He smiled, "It's good to have you back, son."

My face must have shown confusion because he continued to speak.

"Jasper and Emmet brought you home. They have all gone to hunt to give us some time to talk. How are you feeling?"

A single word was enough to describe how I felt.

"Empty."

"Take it easy, son. You've been through a lot. Calm down, take stock of your emotions, let your senses come back to you," he soothed me.

I still couldn't think straight so instead I asked him what happened.

"Edward, you mustn't be angry, but Alice saw what was going to happen. I did not want to let you go after she told me what was going to happen, I did not want you to suffer through it alone. However, Alice insisted that you needed to go through it alone, that it would bring you some form of closure."

I thought back to what had happened. Was that really Bella? Had her soul come down to earth to ease my suffering? To give me closure as Carlisle so eloquently put it? Or was it just a delusion on my part?

Alice knew this would happen? But, what exactly was _this_? A hallucination? A nervous breakdown? What had happened?

"I know you are confused about all this, but now is not the time for a discussion. I want you to take a break, go hunt if you need. You have been through a terribly emotional experience. I don't want you to stress anymore."

"No, I have to know what happened. Carlisle, do you know what happened? What did Alice see? It doesn't make any sense!" I had always been the one privy to all the thoughts around me. Not knowing was killing me. I was not used to such confusion.

"Edward, before I tell you anything, I need you to do something. I want you to think about Bella, then tell me what you feel."

I did not have patience for these games. I plunged into his mind, looking for answers but he was blocking me.

_Edward, to understand, you need to do this properly son. Don't try to take the easy way out._

I let out a frustrated groan. I closed my eyes, thinking of Bella, and braced myself for the pain that would undoubtedly accompany as her image formed behind my eyelids.

But then, nothing happened. I saw Bella as I remembered her, from our time in Forks, infinite memories flooding me; the first time I saw her, her calling my name while sleeping, the meadow… the memories coming faster and faster, right up to that fateful day when I left her in the woods.

But nothing happened! No pain in the chest, no acid in my veins, no illusion, nothing!

It was as if all the memories of our time together had turned into just that… memories… similar to all those that I accumulated in over a century of walking the planet. Yes, I detected sorrow, regret, guilt associated with them but it was nothing compared to the searing, burning, all consuming agony I had been going through ever since she passed away.

I must have looked thoroughly bewildered because Carlisle smiled. It wasn't a happy smile, but a rueful one, the kind of smile a person gives when all said and done is forgotten and one is prepared to move ahead.

"You know son, we vampires are unchanging and yet when change does come for us, it is eternal and everlasting. Your entire life and persona changed when you met Bella. That was the first real change you encountered in over a century as a vampire. It changed you irrevocably. But when she passed away, you refused to change, although, your life and it's path had most definitely changed.

You have been fighting against that change for over fifteen years, Edward. Refusing to move on, clinging to the past, reusing to believe that your destiny has changed. Today, that change finally caught up with you."

I buried my face in my hands.

"You saw Bella today." It was not a question, but a statement.

My head snapped up, meeting his eyes, so similar to mine and yet infinitely wise with knowledge acquired over the centuries.

"Did Alice see her? Did she tell you?"

"No. But you were screaming for her, begging her not to leave you when Emmet and Jasper found you."

I kept silent.

"Did you see her, Edward? Did you see Bella today?"

"So what if I did? I know it was an illusion… she couldn't have been there… just my imagination… what does it matter?"

"What did she tell you?" he coaxed.

Again I kept silent

How could I tell him that even her illusion had deserted me?

_Son, I know this is difficult but I think I have a very good idea about the kind of conversation you had with her._

"You talk as if she was actually there." I spat bitterly.

"What makes you think she wasn't?" he countered.

I turned to him incredulously.

"Carlisle, what are you trying to insinuate? Surely you don't mean… it couldn't have been… impossible… just a hallucination," I was reeling from what he was trying to imply. It was unheard of, utterly fantastic, impossible.

He smiled again, but this time it was a patronizing smile, the kind of smile a father gives his stubborn child while trying to explain, that though he could not see it, air was most definitely present around him.

"This is utterly ridiculous," I complained. "You are trying to tell me that Bella's _ghost_ was there with me today?"

Again that patronizing smile.

"Surely you have better word to describe the phenomenon. Her soul maybe?" he continued to play with me.

"I can't believe that you are talking such utter rubbish! Souls? Bella's _soul _coming to see me? It's impossible! There is no proof of any such thing happening. You are confusing folklores and ghost stories with real life."

This time he laughed. Not a smile or a chuckle, but a full-throated laugh.

"Look who's talking Edward! Look at yourself, look at me and then tell me if all stories are just that. We're vampires, mythical creatures, part of folklores and ghost stories. Yet we exist, in quite a few numbers I might add. You believe that people have souls, you believe that we have lost ours, yet you refuse to believe that Bella's soul might have found you?

Don't misunderstand me, son. I am not saying what you experienced today was a supernatural experience. I am not saying that it was Bella's apparition that you saw. It may have been your imagination. What I am trying to convince you of is that even after almost four centuries on this planet, there are still things that I don't understand, that there are things beyond the realm of anything we may have seen and we need to accept them even if we do not have a tangible proof of their existence; just as we don't stop believing in God because we can't see Him. You have to understand that there are powers in this universe which are beyond our sphere of understanding and whether you believe it or not, they _do _affect you.

You may call it by any name, some call him God, others use different names; fate, destiny, karma… these are all simply the ways by which we accept that there are things beyond our control, which guide us through our life, things the existence of which we cannot prove."

"What did Bella tell you, Edwrad?"

I sighed. "She told me to let go of her, that I needed to move on," I confessed.

He nodded in understanding and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Then listen to her Edward. It may not have been Bella's soul that told you to let go, it may have been an illusion on your part or may just have been you conscience finally ready to move on. But, it is just a very strong reminder to you that you have resisted your destiny for too long. It is really, truly time that you let go of your obsession and move ahead with your life."

I nodded mutely. What else could I do? There was no making sense of the conundrum I found myself in. All I knew that the ache in my chest was finally gone and the fire in my veins had finally dulled.

**

* * *

ArPOV:**

I leapt out of the bed after tossing and turning for an hour.

Damn it!

Why did sleep have to be so elusive for me? Most people had no problem with it. Yet here I was, at three in the morning, unable to sleep, unable to get comfortable. The loneliness had always been my best friend, but the fact that I had no one to look forward to made me depressed. I had left the only life I knew back in London and had vowed never to go back.

I went down to the main hall, they called it the living room in America, and looked out the windows. It was raining. Again.

I opened the window and was immediately assailed with a fine spray of rain water, mixed with the smell of sodden wood and moss. I could faintly catch the sound of an excited bull frog.

_Enjoy the mating season while you can,_ I thought, _you might just end up on my tray in biology._

Even a lowly pathetic frog had a mate. Why was I alone? I wasn't looking for a romantic buccaneer, but a real friend would have been nice. Sure, Stacie was a great girl, but _that _bond just wasn't there. I shivered in the cold wind blowing and for a moment, I was sucked back in time.

_It was a night just like this one with freezing wind and unforgiving rain. I stood outside the doors of the mansion, a wet, bedraggled eleven year old. The chatter of my teeth had become a constant buzzing and my knees threatened to give away. Three hours I had been standing there, I was told later on. It seemed much longer than that._

_The open doors emitted a warm golden glow, proof of the roaring fire burning in that majestic fireplace. I tried to imagine that I was inside, laved in warmth, with not a care in the world but the cruel English rain would not let me dream._

_The doors had been kept open for a reason, to tell me that it was only my choice that was keeping me outside in the harsh weather. I simply had to relent and enter the doors, but I had stood my ground until I had fainted with exposure and battled for my life as pneumonia took hold of my body; for pride was the only thing I had left. And I had held onto it with all my heart and soul. Even in the fever ravaged, delirious state I had fought for the ideas I held dear._

It had been a night just like this.

I threw open the doors of the house and walked out in my nightgown. It took but a minute to get completely soaked. I stood there, letting the torrent drown me and then walked back into the house. In the bedroom I stripped out of my wet gown and pulled on a fresh one.

To someone else it would seem foolish, what I had done. But to me, the power to walk in and out of my house, unrestricted was heavenly, heady, intoxicating. The idea that I had the reins of my life in my hands made my heart soar. I was free.

I sat cross-legged on the bed, trying to focus on my breathing to meditate. I tried to empty my mind of thoughts, but as always the pool of memories began swirling and churning, with one or the other surfacing to the top, distracting me. Just as I was about to give up, I was reminded of what happened today at school.

It had been foolish on my part, to try and use the school pool for meditation, but I had been sorely tempted. Of course, what followed had been a complete disaster.

My mind had been foggy and I had been floating on a cloud when I had felt a tugging sensation and something sweet touched my lips. But then the burning in my chest had pulled me out of my trance and I had jerked back to reality as my oxygen deprived lungs screamed for air.

But as the burning in my lungs subsided, I was faced, quite literally with another dilemma. Edward Cullen had his arms wrapped around me, dragging me out of the water. I could have easily overcome the shock of being so rudely pulled out of my trance, but the sudden electric charge that sparked in my nerves at his touch had thrown me off-balance.

Even in the shower of the locker room, after all the drama had been over, I had continued to feel that tingly sensation along my spine.

I mentally snorted at my thoughts. I sounded like some kind of a character in a cheap romance novel. I realized that what had happened was not his fault, I was the one to blame. But at that moment, scared by the jolt of feeling, I had lashed out at him, accused him of inappropriate behavior.

He could report me to the school authorities for improper behavior. With a groan I threw my arm over my eyes, the harsh words I had screamed at him echoing in my ears as the guilt settled into my stomach, hot and heavy.

As I fell into a fitful sleep, something about the scene at the pool niggled at the back of my mind. Something didn't add up, something small yet significant was missing…

**

* * *

Author's note:** Yes, Edward is finally ready to move on, but hold your horses! It's going to be a while for things to get cozy between him and Arianna. Love shouldn't be like two-minute noodles, you need to let it brew, stew and simmer before it finally reaches a boil. Hmmm... seems like my cooking classes are going to my head...

Here's a suggestion. Hit the 'review button' and start a stop watch. Don't lie, you know you have a stop watch in your cell phone. Check how much time it takes to leave a review, bet it's not more than a minute and a half!

Let me know what you think!

Love,

Katty.


	8. Chapter 7: An Unexpected Event

**EPOV:**

I looked at the sky that was beginning to light up. It remained a morose gray in shade with the threat of fresh rain, despite yesterday's downpour. I focused on the signs that heralded the new day.

The lightening of the sky, the quiet scampering of squirrels, the flapping of the birds wings as they left their nest in search of food, the hum of the bees. For the first time since Bella passed away, I actually took notice of the flurry of activity in nature. Somewhere, I could still hear the rhythmic dripping of water from last night's rain.

I finally felt at peace.

After last night's events, I had wanted to be left alone. Alice must have known this because although I heard them coming back from the hunt, none of them came to disturb me.

I had finally come to terms with Bella's death.

But what I still couldn't comprehend was the vision Alice had of Anna and me.

Yes, her blood tempted me the same way Bella's blood had called to me, but that did not mean that I could envision anything like the dream suggested happening between us.

Her mute mind bothered me. And as usual, I hated not knowing what went on in her head. If only I could take a peek inside, I would most probably find some entirely bland thoughts of an ordinary girl, or worse yet, arrogance and vanity of a rich narcissist. And yet, unaccountably, her actions were anything but boring or vain.

What bothered me the most was that she was too much like Bella, her scent and protected thoughts made me wonder if these qualities were the only reason for Alice's vision?

But I was still unable to understand the phenomenon that allowed me to _feel_ her emotions; her and _only_ her emotions. It was something that had never happened to me in almost over a century and half of existence; neither had Jasper ever heard of something like this. How come she was the only one impervious to my mind reading abilities, yet the only one whom I could feel?

The more I thought about it, the more baffled I became.

The girl was an absolute enigma, and I could only get the answers to my dilemma if I unraveled her mystery. I would have to understand her before I made the decision to try and change the path of my future. It was obvious from Alice's vision that our futures were entangled with each other and I was no longer arrogant enough to leave town without a thought as I had done last time. My rash actions then had led Bella to her untimely death and though I had no such affection for Anna, I could not allow a similar fate to befall her.

I decided that I would objectively study her character traits to understand her. I knew that she was a loner, which was obvious to anyone who had been bestowed with a pair of eyes. As far as I knew, she had only one friend and that she had refused to be friends with Fiona Wilder, the school teen queen. I recalled from the conversation I had overheard at lunch that she was an orphan. I felt sorry for her; I could empathize with her. Being orphaned at such a young age must have been very difficult for her.

What was conspicuously lacking however was any shyness or awkwardness, which is characteristic of someone who has lost the nurturing canopy of parents at such a young age. I remembered her gait, long fluid steps despite the atrocious four inch heels gracing her feet, her back always ram rod straight, head held high on her long slender neck. Never had she faltered or stumbled. Everything about her oozed confidence, strength and power. Although she shunned company, she most certainly wasn't the shy type. In fact, I thought bemusedly, if I had seen her in a corset and a ball gown, I would have probably taken her to be a _lady _from one of the wealthier families.

The way she had reprimanded her friend for placing undue importance on good looks meant she had a sound head, mature beyond what could be expected from a teenager. Also, I remembered with a private smile the way she had glared at Emmet when he laughed at Stacie's embarrassment. Obviously she was fair and had a soft spot for the underdog.

As I thought more and more about it, I realized with a jolt that I had never once seen her laugh. A smile here and there for the sake of politeness, but nothing further and even those rare smiles never reached her eyes.

Again I recalled how Jasper had told every one about her pain and guilt which she constantly exuded. Then, the incident at the cliff where I had almost revealed my true nature because I had thought she would jump had been an eye opener. It was just as Jasper had surmised; she was not a happy person.

Her behavior yesterday at the pool had also shocked me. Nothing about her was normal and I started feeling an itch to find a reason, which may justify her weird behavior.

Then, inspiration struck.

I rushed to start my laptop. Internet was one of the biggest boons of the modern world. I could barely contain myself till it started. I hacked into the school computer mainframe for the students record. Usually, it was Jasper who handled the high tech computer work for our false identities and off shore accounts but I was sufficiently skilled to retrieve the student records for my small coup. I found her records easily enough.

Then, I did something I had never done before, I googled an individual.

_Arianna Esperanza Craft._

When I saw the result, I felt like I had been punched in the gut, or rather, I should say the complete _absence_of results left me breathless. I stared dumbfounded at the glowing words on the screen – _Your search did not match any documents._

What kind of a modern-day girl did not turn up on a google search? What with all the social networking sites, it is child's play to find an individual. How can a name not turn up anywhere?

Apparently, Ms. Craft was hell bent on making me work for results.

Fine, so be it.

I hacked into the London Education board web site and ran a search for her name in the school system. Again, no results. Then, inspiration struck. I ran a search again, this time dropping her middle name. This turned up several names. Now, we were getting somewhere. I opened each and every file, to identify her details by her file photo. Once more I ran into a dead end. None of the photographs matched the girl who was haunting my existence.

Frustrated, I closed my laptop with a bit more force than necessary, there was no outward proof of the abuse I had just subjected it to. Hopefully, it would start again.

I was increasingly becoming obsessed with the mystery that was Arianna Craft. I vowed to find out as much as I could about her at school today.

I quickly got ready for school and met my siblings in the garage.

"You're giving me a headache Edward! For the love of God, make up your mind. Every time I try to see your decision, I get nothing but a barrage of convoluted images moving at a dizzying speed." Alice moaned.

"Then stop trying to look into my future. I will not have you making my decisions for me."

"But you're here for now!" she sang.

At this, Emmet piped up. "What do you me _for now_?"

"He wants to get to know her!" Alice trilled happily.

Somewhere inside the house, I heard Rosalie snort.

I gritted my teeth. "Only from a distance, don't you dare try to interfere with this!" I scolded her.

My mature, century old sister, wise with her ability to see the future did the one thing she knew best.

She stuck out her tongue at me, revved her Porsche and left with her husband.

I climbed into the jeep with Emmet and Rosalie. While I usually hated to travel with them due to their X-rated thoughts, today I welcomed their presence. Their thoughts were much easier to tune out, Alice, on the other hand, could screech into my thoughts like a banshee with no effort.

I regretted the fact that I had withdrawn myself from the English class since it seemed to be the only one, which I had in common with Anna. Well, that was something that could be easily remedied, however, I wanted to make my choice without getting too close to her. I would personally approach her only if I had no other option left.

The first half of the day went by in immense boredom. Tried to look into the minds of the students surrounding her but was met with either constant day dreaming, many of which contained Anna, to my disgust or some sincere students focused on their studies.

I tried to feel her emotions but apparently, unlike my mind reading abilities, I need to be close to her before I could pick up on her emotions. I urged the time to pass quickly so I could get to the lunch hour and start picking people's minds about her.

Finally, at noon, I ambled into the cafeteria where I found my aggravating pixie of a sister, who was smiling like the cat who got the canary while translating _Mein Kamph_ into Swahili.

"What did you see?"

"That. Brother dearest, is for me to know and you to find out!" she retorted in all her smug glory.

"Alice!" I threatened in a warning tone, but she just smiled that all knowing smile of her and continued her pretense of eating.

I found Stacie, sitting at their table in the back, her mind full of contradictions about the food on her tray.

_Just eat it! This is a healthy, nutritious salad, full of vitamins and fiber._

_Yuck! Who wants fiber?_

_God, the pudding looks heavenly!_

_Get a hold of your self! Do you want to look like a bloated balloon?_

Ah! So again the thing on the forefront of her mind was her weight. I wondered why humans were so obsessed with their weight. Stacie was a bit chubby, but nothing unhealthy, instead with her round face and honey blonde hair, it actually made her look cherubic.

_Wonder where Anna is? She's a bit late…_

And just at that moment, she entered the cafeteria.

Immediately, I knew something was wrong. Her heartbeat was slightly elevated, as was her blood pressure; her steps had become shorter, more brisk, with her boots hitting the ground with a bit more force. Irritation poured off her in waves. And as she passed our table, I realized that her scent was a bit off.

Her sweet, flowery scent of freesia and lavender was now mixed with a sharp tang, a pungent smell… _chilly peppers?_

"Wow! Looks like someone got off on the wrong side of the bed." Jasper muttered. He had obviously felt her annoyance.

_Good luck bro! 'Bout time you got laid!_

Emmet bellowed in my thoughts from across the room. Rosalie had dragged him to a different table, snapping that she was sick of the little human soap opera.

I rolled my eyes at his crude comment as usual. Before I could form a retort, I heard Anna slam down her books on their table and stalked off to get her lunch without a comment to her friend.

This was bound to be an educational lesson in Anna 101.

I saw her pile a helping of pudding, a bar of chocolate and a strawberry milkshake onto her tray. I recognized the items as 'comfort foods' from centuries of insight into the female minds.

As she returned to sit at her table, her companion took one look at the food on her tray and immediately caught up on her emotions.

_Uh oh! What's gotten her so mad?_

"Hey, had a bad day?"

"Bad doesn't even begin to cover it, but I don't want to talk about it."

_As much as I would like to know what's wrong, I don't want to piss her off any more._

"Umm… okay."

But obviously this wasn't the right response as I felt her irritation increase another notch. From the corner of my eyes I saw Jasper frowning at the food on his plate. I worked hard to keep a smile off my face. Obviously, her emotions were affecting him more than they affected me.

"That irritating, aggravating, slack jawed, pompous popinjay!" she seethed taking a vicious bite of her chocolate bar. "How dare he be so self-righteous? That dung-headed little ponce with the intelligence equivalent to a band of bungling, bumbling, babbling band of baboons!"

Her little monologue had Stacie taken over by a fit of giggles and I could feel the subtle vibrations caused in the floor due to Emmet, who was shaking hard by his effort to control his raucous laughter. Even Alice was laughing, the sound resembling gentle wind chimes while Jasper appeared torn between scowling and laughing sensing the contradictory emotions.

I couldn't help the smile, which crept up on my face.

"What?" Anna snapped at Stacie, ignorant of how entertaining her tirade had been.

At this point, Stacie was breathless with laughter and holding a stitch in her side.

"Popinjay… Baboon?" she gasped.

Anna who was about to take a sip of her milkshake leveled a glare towards Stacie, suddenly noticing her condition, the flushed cheeks and the slight tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. It seemed like she was recapitulating everything she had said, wondering what was so funny when it finally hit her how incredibly funny she had sounded.

Her lips twitched a little and she tried to continue glaring, but finally she lost control. Her face broke out in the biggest smile I had ever seen and she threw back her head as she laughed.

Suddenly, my breath caught in my chest.

With her head thrown back, her delicate neck exposed, her eyes closed, her lush lips parted and dimples dancing in her cheeks, she was the most breath-taking creature I had ever seen.

The sound of her laughter was unlike anything I had ever heard. It was a melody, haunting, lilting, and bubbling like a gushing fountain. I wanted to bottle up that sound and keep it with me for all eternity.

"So…so, who's the baboon that got you so mad?" Stacie asked as she finally caught her breath.

Again, like a kaleidoscope her face went from a radiant smile to a dark scowl.

"I got a B plus on my assignment in English. We were supposed to write about our take on King Lear. I don't mind the grade so much; it's the reason for the grade that makes me furious. When I asked Mr. Lawson why I had such a poor grade, do you know what he told me? He suggested that I develop a better taste in literature since I criticized the play. I didn't know that I was supposed to write to please him rather than express my personal opinion."

"Yeah, well don't worry. B plus is not a bad grade by any standard."

"But it's not the best either. Besides, I hate the course work in English. I am frustrated by it," she lamented.

"Well, if you don't really like the course, why don't you just drop it? There's no compulsion for you to take it." Stacie pointed out.

This statement had a rather peculiar effect on Anna. She seemed to have frozen in time, her eyes going blank. She seemed to be lost in some memory and as she snapped out of it, a horrified expression overcame her face.

"Yes, of course," she said slowly," there's no compulsion for me to take English." She seemed to have come to a conclusion to some internal debate when she nodded her head in a resolute fashion and said "Yes, I think I'll drop English."

_Oh shit! I wasn't serious about that. Damn, what's going on that head of hers? What if it affects her grades, or her future for college… how come she's just gonna drop it?_

"Anna, I wasn't all to serious about you dropping the subject… I mean it was just an observation… you're not actually considering doing it, are you?"

"Of course I am! Thank you so much for pointing out the obvious to me. I was so stupid not to see it, continuing with a subject I didn't enjoy, just because I was expected to study it!"

"Wait a minute… what do you mean expected to? Did some one tell you that it was compulsory for you to take English?"

_Why would anyone tell her that?_

Now, Anna seemed to be at a loss of words. I had never before seen her struggle for words.

"No, no… no one told me it was compulsory, it's just that… you know, back home, people just expected one to study literature… being British and all," she finished lamely.

_OK… not what I expected… obviously she's lying but why lie about something like this? And for the love of God, what's up with Cullen and his staring? If I didn't know any better I would say he was interested in her. Did something happen?_

I physically jolted in my chair when I realized that I had been so obviously staring at Anna. Also, I had not counted on Stacie noticing something like this. I was hoping she would keep her thoughts to herself. Apparently, I was out of luck.

_Here goes nothing._

"Did something happen… between you and Edward? You know… he keeps staring at you…"

"What?" she looked shocked for a moment and then groaned.

_Something did happen! I can't believe she kept it quiet from me!_

"Tell me! Spill it all… what happened? And why didn't you tell me?" Stacie started her inquisition with fervor.

I was interested about what she was going to say. Oddly enough, I started getting guilty vibes from her.

"We got in a fight during gym," she sighed.

_Fight? I didn't even know they were talking to each other, let alone get into a fight._

"You never told me you were friends with him," she said in a hurt tone.

"I didn't say I was friends with him," she huffed exasperatedly," I said we got into a fight."

"How did you get into a fight then?"

_Obviously she's skipping something here._

"It's complicated."

Here, I could feel the guilt increase.

"Tell me, I think I can handle it" she coaxed.

Anna let out a long sigh and started tracing invisible patterns on the table. She wouldn't look her friend in the eye, a physical manifestation of her guilt.

"He tried to help me, I misunderstood, and I was mean to him," she finished in a single breath.

"And…?"

"And that's it! Do I look like I am crazy?" she asked.

"You are no crazy person and despite how I look, I am no fool. You're not telling me something."

"It's just that I feel guilty, and now he must think I some sort of crazed lunatic, and I was wrong and now he's staring at me!"

_I told you that girl has a huge guilt complex. Can you feel it?_

I nodded discreetly in answer to Jasper's mental question. I couldn't help but feel amazed at how her guilt had reduced a confidant arrogant girl to a down right apologetic one. And the queen of impulsive decisions stood up and started walking towards our table decisively.

I imagined Alice doing a little pixie dance of victory because she was now going to get what she wanted. A formal introduction to Anna but I was terrified on the other hand. I didn't know what she was going to say and I didn't know how to react.

She was less than ten feet away from our table when her phone buzzed in her pocket.

_NO, NO, NO…_ Alice moaned internally.

As she read the message on her phone, her feelings moved from guilt to abject terror. Without a moment's delay, she whipped around and dashed to her table grabbing her bag and books.

"What's going on?" asked a confused Stacie.

"I have to leave," she answered without a moment's pause.

"But what about class?"

Without a reply to the question, she practically ran out of cafeteria and not long after, I heard the purr of her Jaguar as she raced out of the school compound.

"What the hell was that?" Jasper muttered.

"I wanted to talk to her!" Alice pouted.

"Alice what happened? What changed?" I asked her with urgency. Why had she rushed out like that? Was she in any kind of trouble?

"I don't know, but I can assure you that she'll be safe. I can see her in her house at night," she assured me.

Despite her assurance, I felt deeply unsettled. I was getting increasingly agitated where Anna was concerned. Her reactions and emotions were unlike those I had ever seen and that kept me off balance. Once again, when I thought that I knew exactly what she was going to do, she went ahead and surprised me.

The rest of the day passed with me immersed in thoughts of a girl with obsidian eyes.

**

* * *

ArPOV:**

I sped towards the local hospital, praying that I would be on time. When I had registered as a voluntary blood donor at the hospital, I had not realized that they would need my services so soon. The fact that I had received a message in the middle of the day meant there was some sort of emergency and knowing how rare my particular blood group was, it had to be a life or death matter.

Barely had my jag skidded to a halt when I was running to the reception. I never treaded my beloved car with such carelessness; however, today's circumstances were different.

"I'm here to donate blood. I received a message that you required AB(-ve) blood immediately."

"Miss Craft?"

The voice was soft and soothing but oddly familiar. I turned to find a young man with blonde hair and hazel eyes wearing scrubs and a stethoscope around his neck.

"I am Dr. Cullen. Thank you for coming here so quickly. We have a patient who met with an automobile accident and is in need of immediate surgery; however, a blood transfusion is essential before we can proceed. If you could come this way, please?"

I moved in the direction he indicated, slightly nauseated by the all-permeating antiseptic smell of the hospital. I despised hospitals inherently. Ever since I had woken up in a clean, white, sterile room after the car crash, with a faceless, emotionless doctor telling me I had lost my parents like an automaton, I avoided them as much as I could. It was the only time I ever remembered being in a hospital and I had vowed never to go to one unless avoiding the visit was impossible.

It seemed that this was one of those times.

I could feel the gaze of the young doctor on my face, I also felt that something was amiss, but I simply couldn't focus. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the next without passing out.

It was ironic; most girls were squeamish about blood however I would never bat an eyelash at the sight of the dark red, viscous liquid. Donating blood had started as one of my ideas to give back to the society. I thought of how many times I had sneaked out of the mansion to donate blood in London. Donating one's life fluids was not appreciated. _One donated left over food and old scraps of cloth, not one's blood_. I had started donating blood partly because it helped the society, and partly because it meant doing something that was forbidden. I had been a rebellious teen, though not in conventional terms, and I had been sneaky about it.

"Are you all right?" the doctor asked solicitously. I nodded absent mindedly as I took in the sight of the bed in front of me. Have done the drill before, I pushed up my sleeve and lay down on the bed. Just to get rid of the claustrophobic feeling of the walls closing in on me. I asked him whom it was that met with the accident.

"A child by the name of Robert Downing, eleven years old with extensive head trauma and injury to the spinal cord…" but I heard nothing more.

Robert Downing… eleven years old…

Robert Downing…

_Robert…_

_Robert…_

Robert…

"…_you alright there lassie?"_

"… _you have eyes like the mid night sky…"_

"… _and I'm proud of what I do…"_

"_Very soon you'll be mine and I'll never let you go…"_

"_Patience is a virtue I am proud I own…"_

"… _I have never doubted our relationship…"_

"…_maybe we need to take some time off, think about where we stand with each other…"_

"Miss Craft?" Arianna?"

"Yes…" I was pulled out of my reverie.

"We are all done now. Thank you so much, you might just have saved a life due to your prompt action."

The doctor's eye bored into mine and I swayed a bit as I got to my feet. He immediately reached out to steady me.

"I think you should sit down for a while. It would not be safe for you to be driving in this condition. Do you require someone to escort you back? I can easily arrange for someone to drive you."

I looked more carefully into this doctor's face. He was outrageously handsome, and with a voice like that, I was sure he was extremely popular with the patients. But his eyes, his eyes were different. They were not detached like most other doctors, the looked as though they held a vast ocean of knowledge and compassion. Then it hit me.

"You're Dr. Cullen!" I exclaimed as though I had just decoded the dead sea scrolls.

He smiled slightly at my obvious statement.

"Indeed I am."

"I'm sorry, I mean you are the father of the Cullen kids. I go to school with them." From his young face it was apparent that he was not their biological father. If Stacie hadn't filled me in on the background of the Cullens, I would have taken him to be an elder brother.

"Of course, are you acquainted with them?" he asked.

I thought about the debacle at the swimming pool. No, I definitely wouldn't categorize that shouting match as getting acquainted.

"Not really, but I have seen them on the campus."

By this time, we had reached the lobby. I saw him give a nod to someone behind me and at the next instant, I saw a short and stout woman beside me holding a glass of milk and a plate of cookies.

"You don't worry about this Dr. Cullen, I'll take care of her. You go ahead and suit up for the surgery, leave the rest to me."

I looked at the nurse whose nametag identified her as 'Becky' and was shocked at the way she was looking at the young man. I snorted mentally. Good looks had their subtle disadvantage, as I only knew too well. I wondered how Dr. Cullen managed to work here every day if this was the way the nurses behaved around him.

"Now you sit here missy and finish this up. You just gave up a pint of blood, don't want you fainting and falling on that pretty face of yours" she commented.

I was irritated at her condescending tone. I wanted to tell her that I could take care of myself perfectly well, thank you very much but Dr. Cullen beat me to it.

"I know you think you don't need it, but trust me, your body does need it. I need to get to the OT. Thank you once again." He turned to leave.

"Doctor," I called out and he turned," I hope that he… the boy makes it."

He nodded and disappeared into one of the doors lining the hallway. I sat down on the couch, nibbling at my cookie as I prayed that the child would come through the operation safely.

I once again remembered my own tragedy. The nurses in the hospital where I had woken up called me a child of the God. I had escaped with nothing but some bumps and bruises from the car crash, which claimed my parent's life. I had never hated my own existence so much in my life.

I sat there, for I don't know how long, looking at nothing specific as random thoughts darted through my mind like fireflies on a moonless night. And then there was a hand on my shoulder, shaking me.

"Anna, what's the matter? Why are you still here?"

I looked into the kind eyes of Dr. Cullen.

"Uh, I was just sitting here. I thought you asked me to sit for a while before I drove home."

"That was five and a half hours ago, Anna. I just finished the surgery. Are you sure everything is ok?" he asked eyeing me suspiciously.

"Yes, I am fine. I just lost track of time. Was the surgery successful?"

He gave a genuine smile. I saw that despite the long operation, he did not look the least bit tired or strained.

"Yes, young Robert will be fine. Although he will sport some nasty scars, there will be no lasting damage."

I gave a relieved sigh. Then it hit me that there was no way an eleven year old child was alone in a car. I feared a fate similar to mine might befall him.

"What about his parents?" I asked him fearfully.

He gave me a piercing look, as if trying to determine why I had asked such a question.

"His mother is in recovery, she has a compound fracture in her leg but she will be fine. His father is away on business and has been notified of the incident and will be arriving by the next flight."

I finally felt at peace. The boy was going to be fine.

"Thank you doctor. I will take your leave now."

"It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance Anna, though I wished it was under different circumstances."

I drove home, bone weary of the day's events.

As I drove, I wondered if Edward or any other Cullen kids had told their parents about what happened during gym. I also abruptly recalled that after the first few times, Dr. Cullen had called me 'Anna'. I wondered how he knew that I was used to being addressed like that.

But all the thoughts vanished as I reached home and collapsed on the couch. My mind could not take much more.

**

* * *

Author's note: **What do you think about Anna's little reverie? And why can't Edward seem to find a trace of her online? Let me know what you think!

Another thing, for those of you have been following NORTHERN LIGHTS! Since I first posted it. I know you guys were hoping for a real update this Sunday, however, I am lagging behind on all my editing and revising hence it might be Tuesday before you could find another update after I finish re-loading the entire story.

I am really sorry about the delay and will definitely try to make up for it somehow.

Love,

Katty.


	9. Chapter 8: Theories

**EPOV:**

The rest of the day after lunch was excruciating. On one hand was the mind numbing, monotony of being just an ordinary student and on the other hand was the insatiable curiosity regarding Anna's unexpected departure. Obviously, it was not something she had planned and the fear she had radiated had me worried.

What had caused such a reaction in her? As far as I knew, she had no immediate family in the vicinity for her to worry about. Had been someone from London?

I knew I had to discuss my situation with Carlisle, but then again, what was there to say? Carlisle wanted me to get to know her, but how could I ever risk anyone getting close to me again? I thought of her laughter in the cafeteria and felt something warm curl up in the pit of my stomach. It had been such a wonderful sound.

I was reading a recent medical journal when I heard Carlisle come in and greet Esme. His thoughts were occupied with the surgery he had performed that afternoon on a young boy. I was thinking of discussing a new break through in neuron regeneration with him when I caught the image in his mind.

It was Anna, laying in a hospital bed her face rather pale, eyes closed and breathing labored. He had dwelled on it for less than a fraction of a second but I had caught it in his thoughts. So this was the reason she had rushed out of school. Everything in the image except for her face had been a bit hazy since it seemed that Carlisle was focusing on her face only.

What was wrong with her? I felt panic rising within me. I had been so focused on unfolding her mysteries that I had never once considered the fact that she was human. Human, fragile, and _mortal_. Was she ill? Did she suffer from some incurable disease? Did she meet with an accident? I had to _know_!

I rushed to the living room where Carlisle was talking to Esme quietly.

"What happened?" I demanded.

_Edward, calm down! What brought this on?_

Jasper was descending the stairs leisurely, trying to calm me down with his powers but it was not helping. My breathing was labored and my fists were clenched.

_Ah, it seems you found out what happened with Anna today. Calm down son, there is nothing for you to worry about._

Out loud, he gestured in the direction of his study, "Let's talk," he suggested and leaned down to give Esme a quick kiss.

We walked into the study, it's walls lined with heavy antique mahogany book cases. I often found absolution in the study, the collection of books as rich as it was eclectic. Books covering everything from theology to biotechnology and literature to medical journals occupied every inch of available space. Several books, including the Bible that was used by his father to preach in the sixteen hundreds were priceless and would probably be worth millions in the antiquities market.

Instead of talking to me, Carlisle let his mind flit through the various images of Anna that he recalled from the afternoon.

Anna standing at the reception, lying in a hospital bed, talking to a nurse, sitting in the lobby holding a glass of milk…

"This doesn't tell me _why_ she was at the hospital in the first place!" I argued.

He gave me a kind smile even as he added, "for someone who claims not to be interested in her, you sure do seem to be anxious about her welfare, Edward."

Did my desperation show so clearly on my face? Why wouldn't he just tell me what happened?

I put on a calm façade as I defended my curiosity.

"You know our futures are intertwined. I need to know about her in order to make a strategy to as to remove myself from her life as carefully as possible."

_Are you really sure that this is the only cause for your concern?_

Then he added aloud, "Anna is an exceptionally kind and moral child. She was at the hospital to donate blood."

Again the image of Anna in a hospital bed came to the forefront of his mind, but this time, I saw the thin tubing, which was collecting her blood into the sterile pouch.

Suddenly, the image caused the dull ache at the back of my throat to flare up. The venom pooled into my mouth and I tried to swallow it as unobtrusively as possible. I felt so ashamed that even after so many years, even after Bella's death, the mere sight of Anna's blood could overpower me like this.

Obviously, my earlier notion of not being affected by the siren call of Anna's blood was a fantasy. I may be able to prevent myself from drinking her dry, but my control was nowhere close to that of Carlisle. I could not risk coming into close contact with her.

The acknowledgment that I could not be near her, without risking her life, made me feel as if ice water had been poured into my veins. A sudden pang of loss filled my dead heart. I finally faced the fact that I was indeed interested in Anna. I felt an insatiable urge to get to know her, understand her mystery, read the thoughts that caused her turbulent emotions.

I must not have been as subtle as I thought because Carlisle's next thoughts were about my blood lust.

_The sight of her blood affects you._

It was not a question. He must have felt my desperation because his next thought was the one I had been hearing ever since I woken up to this cursed existence.

_Don't get disheartened, son. It will get better with time._

"Time", I snarled, "yes, it's time I accepted that I will never have the kind of control you have. Time I admitted to myself that I'll never be able to work with humans the way you do, to touch them without the fear of mauling them and sucking them dry."

I couldn't help it, I was jealous. I had been trying for a century and yet I was nowhere close to my ultimate aim.

"Edward, you keep forgetting son, It took me over two centuries to be able to master my instincts and become a doctor. You just have to be patient, and pardon the pun, but you do have all the time in the world."

_But__she__doesn't,_ said a tiny voice in my mind. _She doesn't have an eternity to live and_ _you are wasting precious time!_

I firmly tamped down my inner voice and instead focused on the matter at hand. I need to know what really happened.

"So, she was on the blood donor's list?"

"Yes, I didn't know that they had contacted her until I found her at the front desk. I must admit, her response time was amazing and judging by the amount of time in which she reached the hospital from the school, she broke quite a few traffic rules."

Carlisle grinned internally as he remembered the tire tracks left on the road because of her braking hard on reaching the hospital. The image caused another wave of fury to pass through me.

"She could've gotten hurt!"

But Carlisle seemed oblivious to my distress.

_She's such a unique child_ he thought. _And while I didn't feel the urge to drink from her, her scent is undeniably sweet, probably even better than Bella's scent. I wonder if there is a connection between the actual human blood groups and their scents…_

"What's her blood group?"

"AB (-ve)."

"Figures, she simply had to have the rarest blood group possible on the planet!" I exclaimed in vexed amusement.

"Well, I think we've already established the fact that she's different, unique even. Get to know her son, there's nothing more we ask you to do. And we're always there for you, you know that."

It was rare for me to call Carlisle Dad, however this situation seemed to warrant it.

"Thanks dad."

* * *

I decided to go hunt as precaution now that I knew that Anna's scent could have a much greater impact on me than what I had previously imagined.

Jasper decided to accompany me though he had hunted just the previous day. I appreciated his presence; he always had a calming effect on me. I had a couple of unappetizing elks to sate myself and walked back in a leisurely fashion instead of the usual racing match we had when Emmet accompanied us.

"You do realize that I feel all your turmoil don't you?" Jasper drawled in his southern accent.

"You do realize that I can read your thoughts, don't you?" I fired back.

_I know you are thinking about her._

I sighed. If I had to get to know her, I might as well get to know my brother's opinion. Also, he was the only one that could understand her emotions other than me.

"What do you think of her?"

"I'll be honest with you. I've never met a more emotional being in all my existence."

I waited for him to elaborate.

"The emotions I feel from her, they are ordinary. Mostly, as you might have guessed, they are negative emotions- anger, hatred, betrayal guilt, jealousy… did you know, I've detected jealousy from her directed towards Stacie!"

I must have looked shocked because he smiled.

"I'm beginning to realize that though you can feel her emotions, you seem to pick up only on a single, most predominant emotion from her. You can't detect multiple emotions from her at the same time, can you?"

He must have known the truth because he did not wait for an answer.

"Like I was saying", he continued, "though her emotions are that which you may find normally in people, but the sheer _magnitude_, the strength of her emotions is astounding! I've never felt such fierce emotions from any being, mortal or immortal."

He was remembering his days of dealing with the crazed newborns of Maria's army during his early life. The mere suggestion that Anna emotions were stronger than what those out of control new borns felt shook me to my core. How could I protect her from her own emotions?

"Don't worry Edward, she's not suicidal. Believe me, I know."

I knew I should put my faith in Jasper's assurance; there had been instances in the past when he had picked upon the suicidal tendencies of teenagers in school and timely intervention had prevented their demise.

"But that doesn't mean I'm not worried for her, Edward. At her age, at this stage in her life, it's not healthy for her to harbor the kind of negative feelings she has. I've got several degrees in psychology and it's clear that the girl needs help. She seems to have gone through a lot in her life, but what worries me the most is the contradictory control she has on her feelings."

"Contradictory control? What does that even mean?"

"Can you feel her emotions when you are in different classes?"

I shook my head.

"I can. Just like you can hear people's thoughts from a distance, even in they are in another part of the building, I can feel others emotions. The greater the distance, the more difficult it becomes to pick up the more subtle emotions. But, in case of Anna, the intensity or her emotions is like a laser beam in the dark to me. I can pick up on even the subtlest changes. I did not tell you for fear of upsetting you but studying her emotions has been the most intriguing pass time. It's how I've been able to spend the past few ways in that school.

Her hold on her emotions is tenuous at best. They very quickly get out of hands for her. Even after centuries of practice, I find it difficult to separate my emotions from hers, to prevent acting on her emotions or projecting them out to the masses. It is agonizingly difficult to keep tabs on her sentiments since they so rapidly morph from one into another but today she did something that shocked me. Today, she was irritated with that English teacher and I could feel her anger and irritation mounting, but when it reached an exploding point, suddenly her emotions went blank!"

"What do you mean went blank?"

"It's like she tamped down on her emotions so firmly that I couldn't feel anything from her. Sure, I could pick up on the fact that she was there, an alive sentient being, but it was impossible for me to pick up on any distinct emotion from her. It was like…"

"Like what?" I asked in aggravation. I needed him to finish that thought.

_It was like the way you shut your emotions off when you found out about Bella's death._

Even in his thoughts I could feel him whispering. The image that accompanied his thoughts made me freeze in my tracks.

I was on my knees, with no emotion on my face, kept upright only by Carlisle's support. As he remembered that fateful night, his mind recalled all the emotional stress that he and the family had gone through. Pain, fear, guilt, sorrow…

Never before had any of my family members allowed e to see my breakdown and the days that followed before. They had kept the memories firmly locked away in the corners of their minds, guarded by walls of mundane details which I never had the incentive to breech.

I had known that my family had suffered greatly because of me, but to see it in the crystal clear memory of Jasper accompanied by their emotions was too much. My breakdown had taken such a huge toll on all of them. Impulsively, I hugged Jasper.

There was no need to say anything. He could feel it all. And though he rarely allowed me to see it, he let loose his thoughts for my concern. I had always known that he cared about us, but to see it in his thoughts was humbling.

We separated and continued to walk in the general direction of home.

"Do you have any idea why is it that I can feel her emotions? Maybe not as accurately as you but…"

"I have my own theory," he confessed.

"What?"

"You see, after Bella, we know that there are exceptions to your gift." Something in my face must have made him reconsider as he quickly amended, "Not many exceptions, but Anna happens to be one. And like I told you, the strength of her emotions is just too much. Somehow, I think that your powers, formidable as they are, have made an exception to accommodate Anna's silent mind."

At my raised eyebrows, he elaborated.

"I know you want to read her thoughts Edward. Don't even try to deny it because I can feel your frustration every time when you are around her. I can feel how hard you concentrate to breach her mental barriers. It seems that since you can't read her thoughts, somehow, with all your stubbornness to not give up and her powerful emotions, you have adapted your powers, just for her so you can gauge her reactions somewhat by feeling her emotions."

I stayed quiet for a very long time.

"It's the only reason that makes sense. You are not an empath inherently. You read minds. You have insatiable curiosity and you are a powerful vampire. You wanted to get to know her so much that you started feeling her emotions, which are so much stronger than those of the others. It was the only way you could get to know her. If you had started feeling other's emotions as well, I would have been at a loss to explain the phenomenon however since you have confirmed that you can only feel her emotions and I can personally attest to the strength of her emotions, I can conclude that you are a custom built empath for Arianna Craft!"

He couldn't help the laughter that escaped him.

"But one thing doesn't add up. And it disproves your entire theory."

_What?_

"I felt her emotions from the first day. Well, not exactly the first day, that was in the cafeteria. But I wasn't even aware of what was happening at that time, I had assumed she was…"

_Bella_, he mentally completed my statement.

I gave a terse nod.

"I started feeling her emotions in the first class that we shared together. I got into an argument in English, and I could suddenly feel her anger. I never made a conscious effort to do so. You know, this was the same day I started reading thoughts after such a long time… at that time, I hadn't even been reading anyone else's thoughts, let alone try and barge into her head!"

_I'm afraid; you will not like the alternative to my theory then, Edward._

"Is there an alternative at all?"

_Yes. It's rather simple. The alternative is something along the lines that you were destined to be together, soul mates if you will. It is the only other plausible choice. Either way, you still end up as her personal empath._

"Is there a third solution?"

He gave a sharp bark of laughter, which echoed into the silent night.

I knew what I wanted to do, but I was loath to put my desires into action. I did not want to stoop so low and yet, the urge to go was overwhelming.

_Make up your mind, brother. You're giving both Alice and me a headache._

He must have felt my embarrassment because he quirked his mouth into a moue.

_Oh, what causes you such distress brother dearest?_

"I want to go visit her home," I mumbled.

"And from the amount of shame I feel pouring from you, I think you want to do this voyeuristic act right now, at this ungodly hour?" he teased.

I immediately started defending my decision, "It's not like I want to take advantage of her in some unscrupulous way… I just want to be around her when she is less guarded… when she cannot control her emotions so much…"

_You want to feel her emotions when she's asleep._

"You do realize that you will only feel contentment from her unless and until she is involved in some vivid dream… even then, her emotions may be buried deep in her subconscious and you might not be able to pick up on anything," he warned.

"I know, but I have to try and find out. Can you come with me? You can give me your version, I know your skill is much sharper than mine."

"Of course, race you to the house!" and with that he was off but even without the warning, I could easily catch up and overtake him.

She had bought an old Victorian mansion, in an isolated part of the town. I still couldn't understand why a single individual, barely eighteen years old would bother to buy such a huge house when she had apparently no family. This thought led to another idea. She had to have a hefty bank balance in order to have made a purchase as big as this, and banks accounts could be traced. I decided I would pursue this line o investigation as soon as I returned home.

As we neared her home, I heard Jasper's confused thoughts.

_What the hell?_

I now saw what he was referring to. The lights in the front room were on, the curtains were pulled back and did I just hear… _piano?_

She was playing the piano at… _2:37 a.m._ my watch read.

We exchanged confused glances and cautiously made our way close when Jasper groaned.

_Not again!_

As we moved closer, I started feeling the constriction in my chest and took me but a moment that these were her emotions. We both peeked into the window, and she was there, on the bench in front of the piano, in the same pair of clothes she was wearing at school.

She hadn't even changed her clothes?

The window was closed so her scent did not bother me much but her pain seemed to be increasing, and it was throbbing in my veins, squeezing my dead heart, and burning my frozen tissue.

"Help her!" I whispered.

_You think I'm not trying?_

True to his word, Jasper's teeth were clenched, his hands balled into fists, his eyes darkening with the immense effort he was putting in.

But then, an angelic voice melded into the notes from the piano, and I was helpless to do anything but listen in agonized silence.

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today_

_I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there_

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you  
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss  
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this_

_Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes and see you looking back_

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself  
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that  
I've missed you since you've been away_

_Oh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line to try to turn back time_

_I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself_

_By hurting you_

Her head was thrown back, her eyes shut, silent tears making their way down her face, but her voice never wavered and she never missed a note.

The pain was too _much_. I couldn't stand unsupported; I was leaning against the wall, my breathing heavy. Jasper was worse off than me, he was doubled up as if in physical pain, eyes clenched shut and contrary to me, he had stopped breathing completely.

I heard a thud inside and suddenly the pain was gone.

We breathed slowly, bringing ourselves back under control. Then we looked inside. She seemed to have slipped off the bench and now lay motion less on the floor.

I pushed open the window; it was unlocked.

"What are you doing?" he hissed but we both stopped to sniff the scent coming from the open window.

Warm air saturated with the salt of her tears along with the scent of crushed roses.

_Did her… did her scent just change?_

"Can you make sure she won't wake up when I pick her up?"

_What are you planning to do?_

"I'll put her on the couch, I can't leave her on the floor."

_Fine, but make sure you don't touch her bare skin, that'll definitely wake her up no matter what I do_, he thought_. I'll stay out here._

I nodded. His eyes had gone pitch black in the time it had taken her to finish the song. Jasper would have to hunt before he could come to school the next day. There was no point in him coming inside and testing his control.

I quietly stepped in through the window. I walked over to her prone form and crouched down near her. Absently I noticed that the baby grand was indeed a fine specimen. I leaned down and her warm breath blew in my face. Infinitely slowly, I positioned my arms underneath her back and knees.

Outside the window Jasper nodded. I stood up in one fluid motion with her cradled to my chest. My body burned from the heat she was emitting and I wanted to do nothing but soak up that heat into my frozen muscles, but if I held her for too long, the chill from my dead form would seep into her clothes and she would wake up.

As I laid her on the couch; I studied her face at close quarters for the first time. Her skin was flawless, the color of wheat stalks in the bright sun, her dark lashes lay gently against her cheeks, her mouth full and relaxed in her sleep. But most of all I noticed the girl beneath the persona she donned for the public. I saw her innocence, her purity and her vulnerability.

In that moment I knew, I would do _anything_ for Arianna Craft.

**

* * *

Author's note:** Yes, things are getting intense. Let me know what you think of Jasper's theories. Any ideas about why her scent is changing? Next update coming up shortly!

Love,

Katty.


	10. Chapter 9: Conversations and a Visit

**ArPOV:**

I woke up feeling groggy and uncomfortable. I lay quietly where I was for a while before getting up. Instead of my bed, I found that I had been asleep on the couch in the living room. Why was I on the couch?

Then it all started coming back. The message, the rushed drive to the local hospital, the sterile atmosphere, Dr. Cullen, the blood donation, _Robert_!

I felt a sudden stab in my lower abdomen. I groaned. That time of the month again. And I had just donated blood. It was going to be a painful few days. I checked the grandfather clock to see that it was almost five o'clock. It was more sleep then I had gotten in the past week. I trudged upstairs and stepped into the shower, allowing the powerful sprays to sooth my stiff muscles from a night on the couch.

That was odd, how did I get on the couch in the first place? I remembered driving home from the hospital, thoughts occupied by the past as usual. The memories garnered more pain this time. I wondered how the mere mention of his name could upset me so much. It was a rather common name. It was a surprise that I hadn't met someone with that name for such a long time.

I remembered allowing myself to wallow in my self-pity. It was something I indulged in on a regular basis. It was bouts like this that allowed me to function normally on an everyday basis. I remembered playing the piano for the first time after a long while. But then; nothing. I just remembered waking up on the couch. I must have managed to crawl from the piano to the couch somehow.

I was surprised that I had put in the efforts to bring myself to the couch; I was never averse to passing out on the floor before.

I turned off the shower, dried myself and put on a robe. As always, I switched on my computer, but as it started up, I thought of Stacie's words.

_Well, if you don't really like the course, why don't you just drop it? There's no compulsion for you to take it._

It had been such an ordinary observation on her part. Something I had never even bothered to consider.

Why was I doing this to myself? Whose expectations was I trying to fulfill? Certainly not my own. I had never enjoyed literature. I read for the joy of it, I read trash novels as long as I enjoyed them. I never read a book for the amount of critical acclaim it received or it's literary value, nor simply because it was deemed by the world to be a great masterpiece. So, why had I signed up for English in the first place? Was I still living by _his_ standards? Was I still, unconsciously, trying to fulfill _his_ expectations, still trying to please _him_?

I remembered the days leading up to my eighteenth birthday. It was the day, which had kept me going for the past seven years. It was what I had lived for. It embodied the one thing that I needed more than the air I breathed. Freedom. I could feel it in my fingertips, smell it in the air, taste it on my tongue.

I allowed a smile to flit across my face as I remembered my theatrics. I had wanted to make a grand exit, epitomizing my rebellion. I had waited eagerly for the clocks to chime midnight and I had relished the look on _his_ face, as I left the mansion for good at the stroke of midnight. The freedom I had felt that night had been tangible.

That was no more than about a month ago and yet it feels like a different lifetime today. I wonder if I have justly utilized the freedom I had been granted. There had been so many things that had been ingrained in me ever since I had come to London after my parents' death. One _had_ to appreciate literature and fine arts. I _had_ to carry myself like a _lady_, lady being a rather archaic term for a subservient female. I never had a problem with being disciplined or well mannered. It was their ideas about what constituted a lady that made my blood boil. For what it is called the modern world, it is amazing how many retrogressive and sexist people make up the cream of the society.

I looked at the application forms to various colleges I had downloaded and my drafted resume. Was this what I wanted? Yes, I did want to go to college, but do I need to do it now? For once, I wanted to have peace in my life.

I made a decision. I watched with satisfaction as I deleted various application forms from my computer. I would finish this last year in school, and I would go to college, but not before I enjoyed my life for a year or two. I thought about going back to Spain where I had spent my childhood, the memories of which had faded away from my mind after all these years. I would travel through Africa and Asia like I always wanted to. I would _live!_

My heart felt lighter, and I smiled for no reason as I left for school. The first thing I did was to go to the office and drop my English classes.

Economics and trigonometry went well enough for me but the abdominal cramping would not let me relax. I was exhausted by the time I went in for my physics class. I seated myself in the last chair near the window hoping foolishly that the fresh air might do something to alleviate my discomfort. I was usually an attentive student, however with the combination of Mr. Hawkins monotone about simple harmonic motions and gut twisting cramps I was barely able to keep my head from hitting the desk and passing out.

After an interminable time, I heard the indistinct murmur of voices, which signaled the end of the class. I thanked the stars that we were not required to do any practical work in the class today. That torture would commence from the next lesson. The room had already emptied when I stood up and a giant wave of vertigo washed over me. I steadied my self as I made my way to the door, the world still spinning slightly around me. What had I had for breakfast again? I simply remembered being lost in my thoughts and then rushing to the school, euphoric about having made the decision to live.

_You need to eat in order to live_, a sardonic voice in my head pointed out. Come to think of it, I hadn't had anything to eat since the milk and cookies I had after donating blood at the hospital. _What kind of_ _a person forgets to eat?_

I made the mistake of shaking my head in answer to my mental question and suddenly the floor lurched at an awkward angle beneath my feet. I leaned against the doorframe to keep myself form hitting the ground.

"Bugger" I swore.

_I will not faint, I will not faint, I will not faint like some damsel in distress…_

I repeated over and over in my head even as I tried to take deep breaths. When I though I had been stationary long enough to regain my balance, I opened my eyes at the same time repeating out loud, "I will not faint."

"If you do, I promise to catch you!" said a playful voice.

My eyes snapped up to find the most iridescent pair of golden eyes I had ever seen. Edward Cullen stood before me with his expression stuck somewhere between concern and amusement.

There was no way I was going to admit weakness in front of him.

"Cullen," I said by way of greeting. I pushed myself off the doorframe and tried to walk away but my legs wouldn't comply and another cramp left me breathless. Again, I stood with the wall supporting me.

"Drink this, it'll help."

He held out some energy drink to me. I was suspicious about why he would try to be nice to me, but one look into his eyes made me believe that this was not a hoax. His eyes were sincere. I took the can and guzzled the liquid in one go, not particularly enjoying it's artificial flavor.

"Give it a few minutes to work, the glucose should be in your system fast enough," he commented.

As I waited for the drink to take effect, I studied his face. It was a beautiful face, there was no doubt about it. His skin however was abnormally pale. I wondered if he had some blood condition. Again and again, I was drawn to his eyes. It was such an unusual shade, lighter than amber, like liquid gold. With a start I realized that I was staring. But in turn, he was staring at me as well.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," he returned.

We made our way slowly towards the cafeteria. He continued to walk with me silently. I decided this was as good a time as any to apologize, especially after the concern he had shown.

"I'm really sorry about my behavior that day. I accused you unfairly, I wasn't thinking straight."

I looked at him to find him with a small grin on his face.

"You mean you didn't mean it when you called me a pervert?"

Though his question was loaded, his eyes were dancing with mirth. I decided that two could play the game

"Well, I admit that I don't know you well enough to know whether you deserve that title."

His grin now turned into a full-blown smile. I went in for the kill.

"But I don't know you well enough to take it back either!"

His smile was lost and he looked utterly scandalized. At his reaction, I couldn't hold back my own smile.

I saw him relax from his stiffened posture, which he had assumed on my indirect allegation.

"You should take better care of yourself," he said softly.

On my questioning look, he elaborated.

"Especially after donating blood."

Of course, he was Dr. Cullen's son. He must have mentioned it at home.

"I had a lot on my mind, I forgot to eat."

I felt like slapping myself. Why had I just confessed to that?

"You _forgot_ to eat?" he looked incredulous.

"I take it back, forget I mentioned it."

"You donated a pint of blood. You should be extra careful about your health for at least a couple of days and instead you forgot to eat?" he chastised me.

"Sorry, Dr. Cullen" I mocked.

"You got that right," he said with a satisfied smile.

"So, you're planning to go to medical school after this? Walking in your father's footsteps?"

"Kind of. How about you?"

I wondered what I should tell him. The truth that I wanted to take a year or two's break after school or lie about something I wanted to do?

As we reached the cafeteria, he held the door open for me and stood back. I stood for a moment in wonder, thinking where a modern boy like him might have picked up such an old fashioned gesture.

I had barely stepped inside when I was hit in the gut by a small thing that was bouncing furiously.

On closer inspection, it was a tiny hyperactive girl with her arms around my waist in an awkward hug, considering the fact that I was in no way participating in the action.

"Hi! I'm Alice," she trilled happily.

"Hello," I replied uncomfortably. I was unused to such gestures of affection, especially from unknown people who most certainly had very bad first impressions of me. I remembered her being present by the pool when Edward and I had our spat.

"Oh this is so wonderful! I am so glad to have met you officially. Now we can go straight to being good friends. I mean, having friends is so important, especially in a place like this where there's not much to do around. The weekends can be absolutely painful when you're alone. Now that we are friends, we can plan our weekends together. What are you doing this weekend? I think we should have a sleep over at my place. Or we can do it at your place if you want. It doesn't really matter whose place it is. We can watch movies, I have a great collection of them. And then I can do your hair and nails and we can talk about all kinds of stuff. We can even plan to have a shopping trip to New York! Personally, I enjoy shopping for everything like clothes, shoes, accessories and bags! You can totally mess up a decent outfit if you don't have the right kind of bag with you. And where did you get these boots? Prada, right? I would love to get a pair like these…"

She looked at me expectantly, with wide hopeful eyes as she finally drew in a breath. I wondered how such a small person could have such energy. She was less than five feet tall, waif-like with delicate features and short spiky hair.

I must have looked completely clueless because I heard several chuckles coming from not only Edward, but also the two brothers already seated at the table. The blonde girl looked like she couldn't care less and had a stone face. I thought how extra-ordinarily beautiful she could look if she would show some genuine emotion on her face.

"Alice is a little exuberant," Edward stated in a stage whisper.

Alice looked offended as she stuck out her tongue at him. In spite of her childish gesture, I simply couldn't hold back my smile. She was adorable.

"This is Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie," he introduced his siblings. I looked at the blonde boy with the curly hair. There was something about him, a kind of seriousness, which was absent in the others. It was the kind of gravity that said that he had seen far too much in the world, more than most others could imagine.

Emmet, although huge, looked like a cheerful guy but I remembered his behavior on the day I met Stacie and wondered what was beneath his sunny countenance.

Rosalie was the easiest to read. Simply put, she was hostile.

"Would you care to join us for lunch?" Jasper asked courteously, even as Rosalie threw a disgusted glance towards him. Obviously, I was not welcome and I wasn't about to start a feud amongst siblings.

"No, thank you. Maybe some other time."

I gave a nod to Edward in farewell as I turned to go to my table and heard Alice call out from behind me.

"Let me know about what you want to do for the weekend." I gave her a slight smile as I moved towards the food counters.

I deliberately took more sugar containing foods than usual. There was no point in having another fainting spell. As I walked back to where Stacie was sitting, I noticed several people staring at me, more so than usual. Fiona was intently focusing her venomous glare on me. I wondered what had caused such a reaction.

"Hi!" I greeted Stacie.

"Hmm…" was the morose reply I got.

"Something the matter?"

"You told me you weren't friends with Edward Cullen," she leveled an accusatory look at me.

"I'm not. I was feeling a bit off and he walked me to lunch. That's all."

"He doesn't do anything like that for anyone else. And why was Alice hugging you?" she continued while throwing a suspicious glance towards their table.

"I don't know, it seems Alice is just like that, kind of bubbly, really friendly," I said focusing on my meal.

"Oh really? Look around! Have you ever seen a Cullen hanging out with anyone else in the school? Why are they suddenly being friendly with you?"

"Give it a break. Why the sudden hostility? I had a polite conversation with a colleague and met his siblings. What's the big deal?" I asked in an irritated tone.

To my shock, she had tears in her eyes.

"I understand if you'd rather be their friend," she said in a wobbly voice.

I knew Stacie was insecure, but her comment gave me an idea of how deeply rooted that insecurity was in her mind.

"You do know that even if I was friends with the Cullens, which I am not, I would always be friends with you, right?"

She looked astonished.

"Why?" she asked in a perplexed tone.

"Because you're my friend! How difficult is that for you to understand?"

"So, you'll still be my friend, even if they ask you to be their friend?"

"We can all be friends! It's not a competition."

"Like they would want to be friends with someone like me," she scoffed.

"For the last and final time Stacie, there's nothing wrong with you! You could be anybody's friend. And if anyone refuses to be your friend, then it's their loss."

She smiled.

"Thanks. By the way, I think you said you got into a fight with Edward. So how come all the sudden friendliness?"

"Well, I told you that what happened wasn't Edward's fault. I had misinterpreted his actions so I apologized to him today. He was gracious enough to accept my apology."

"Well, be a little careful about being friends with them. I told you there are weird stories going on about them. They're dating each other!"

"There's nothing wrong with them. They're not blood relatives so it doesn't matter," I reasoned.

"I know, but doesn't it freak you out just a bit? I mean they eat and live in the same house and call the same people 'mom' and 'dad'. You just don't hear of things like that," she added in a whispered tone.

"I can't believe how narrow minded people can be! What does it matter if they found some one to love in the same house that they live in? Stacie, do you have any idea what it's like to loose your parents? You take so much for granted! Every day you go home to a beautiful family. You have a mother who'll help you pick out a dress for prom and a father who'll threaten the boy who comes to take you on a date. You have a kid brother whose little league matches you'll attend. Do you have any idea how blessed your life is? Imagine going back to an empty home every single day, not having anyone to talk to or anyone to give you a hug. You've no idea how painful such loneliness can be. If the Cullens could find joy in their life, who're we to question it? I wish there were more people like Dr. Cullen and his wife in this world."

Stacie looked stunned by my little speech. I had not been able to reign in my emotions.

"I'm so sorry, I never thought of it like that," she said in a contrite voice.

"I know, it's not your fault."

"You know, I never asked you. I know you lived in London after your parents passed away, but who did you live with?"

There was a legitimate curiosity in her question.

"I lived with my grandfather. Remember I told you, my father was British."

"So how come you moved here alone? I mean you bought a house and all. I figured there would be someone living with you. It's a huge place, I saw it once when I went out on a drive with my family."

"My grandfather and I … did not have the best of relations. We didn't get along well. He belonged to a different era and I was not the grandchild he had wanted. I figured that there was no point in prolonging the inevitable and moved out on my eighteenth birthday."

"So, how'd you manage to buy such a huge house?" and then she promptly turned pink. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that."

I laughed.

"It's alright, my father left me a trust fund."

"Wow!"

After that, we talked about anything and everything till the bell rang.

I was feeling much better after having lunch, however, gym was not at all an attractive idea given my other condition.

"We'll be sprinting today and doing hundred meter runs so line up on the track every one," announced coach Cleats.

I groaned as I took my position. There was no doubt about who was going to be last today.

Just then, Edward walked towards the coach and handed him a paper while talking to him in hushed tones. The coach eyed me and then called and me out of the line up.

"Mr. Cullen here has a note from your doctor. It says you're to be excused from the class today."

Edward gave me a slow wink.

"Yes, Coach. I am unwell today."

"Very well, go sit on the benches."

I turned to thank Edward, but he was already gone. How did he think to get me a note like that? It had to be Dr. Cullen's note, but he didn't know that I was unwell till well into the school day. How could he have gotten his father to write a note so quickly?

Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, I sat on one of the benches and watched the proceedings dispassionately.

I allowed my mind to drift away when a suddenly I heard a scream. I looked towards the track where a small crowd had gathered. After a while, Fiona Wilder emerged, supported under the shoulders by two other girls and made her way towards the benches.

She sat a bit farther from me and continued to talk to her helpers. I tuned her out again.

"So, you're trying to land Cullen are you?" she asked after a while in a nasal high pitched voice.

I decided that a lack of response would prevent me from getting entangled in a futile conversation. She looked at me in a calculating manner and then continued on.

"It's not going to happen, you know. I've tried everything; the guy is just cold. And if I couldn't get him interested, there's no one else who's gonna be able to do it," she added in a haughty voice.

I continued to remain silent, but I was losing my temper. For her sake, I hoped she would keep quiet.

"You really should have taken up my offer to be friends when I first approached you. You're just ruining your reputation by associating with cases like that oaf you eat your lunch with. And now you're acting desperate by hanging around the Cullens. You just witnessed my charms, didn't you? It's so easy to fool men, be it just a guy from class or the coach. Let it be a friendly warning when I tell you to stay the hell away from Edward Cullen. He'll never go out with you. If there's anyone that he's gonna date, then it's going to be me and no one else!"

Her blue eyes glittered maliciously as she delivered her warning.

"I've absolutely nothing to do with Edward Cullen. You're more than welcome to make your move. Personally, I hope he has better taste in women than you. It would reflect very badly on his character if he decided to go out with a hag like you!" I fired back.

"How dare you?" she screeched. "I'll make you regret your words. You'll be sorry for what you said to me!" and she walked away, forgetting to limp to fake her injury.

I couldn't care less about what she thought.

When I walked to the parking lot at the end of the day, I found a Cadillac parked in front of my Jag in such a way that it was impossible for me to drive out. I looked around for the owner and found Fiona not two cars away smirking devilishly at me. I started loosing control. I had never expected such petty retaliation from the little chit.

I walked up to her and was about to confront her when I heard a voice call out behind me.

"Is your car stuck Anna?" I turned to find Edward walking towards me.

I decided to advantage of the situation.

"Yes, and I have no idea who that car belongs to. It seems I am going to have to wait here for a while."

"Well, maybe we can go to that new coffee shop and get something to eat. I'll drive you back to see if we can get your car out."

I was unsure whether his offer was genuine or not, but somehow, the mischief dancing in his eyes told me he knew exactly what was going on.

"I'll go get my car 'round and then we can go."

"Sure, thanks!" I put an overly excited smile on my face.

Just as Edward's Volvo came up, I saw the car blocking mine move out. The driver was one of the girls, which always walked around with Fiona.

Without wasting time, I move to my car and quickly pulled out.

Edward drove up alongside my car and rolled down the windows like me.

"Thanks!" I yelled through the windows.

He gave me a dazzling smile, winked and yelled back, "anytime" before driving off at dizzying speed.

I smiled.

I liked Edward Cullen.

**

* * *

EPOV**

"Edward, do you have a minute?" Esme asked.

I groaned. I knew exactly where this was going; she was not bothering to hide her thoughts at all.

"Yes, of course."

"Well?" she pressed.

"Well, what?" I knew I was trying to delay the obvious, but I simply couldn't help it.

_Edward Cullen! You know exactly what I am talking about. Don't try to act fresh with me, young man._

There was no escaping Esme when she was in her _mom_ mode. I could hear Jasper's deep chuckle from the den.

_You better tell her exactly what she wants to hear, Eddie boy. She's not in a mood to play_ _games_he warned me.

As if I didn't know that.

"Yes, Esme. I talked to her in school today."

Her thoughts were suddenly a flurry of joyous exclamations as she went ahead to thank every deity she could think of.

"And?"

"And nothing. It really wasn't a big deal, Esme. She was feeling faint and I knew she was in a lot of discomfort, so I offered her an instant energy beverage. If I hadn't been concerned about her, I wouldn't even have talked to her."

Her disappointment from the fact that I had only resorted to a conversation with Anna due to her less than perfect health was palpable; and it was only overshadowed by her deep concern for Anna's well being.

"Is she alright? If she isn't feeling well, maybe Carlisle should pay her a visit. There are so many things that can go wrong with humans; they're so fragile. We shouldn't ignore even the slightest sign. What exactly was wrong with her?"

"Relax, mom. I took care of it. The foolish girl forgot to eat when she had donated blood less than twenty four hours ago," I couldn't help the sudden surge of anger. How could she have been so careless? "and it certainly did not help matters that she was…"

"She was what?" Esme demanded.

I couldn't help but squirm. Yes, my enhanced olfactory senses had alerted me that she was on her monthly cycle and the discomfort she kept feeling was probably due abdominal cramps. But how do you explain this to a maternal figure?

Yes, it was the twenty first century, and bestowed with my powers, as I was, not even the most intimate actions of my family members were concealed from me. Having multiple medical degrees however, did not in the slightest abate the embarrassment I felt in completing that statement. It was just the way I was brought up. One simply did not voice such things.

"Edward? She was what?" Esme pushed.

"… on her menses," I whispered in agonized mortification. At that moment, I was eternally grateful that I couldn't blush.

I heard Emmet howling in laughter as he climbed down the stairs to join in my humiliation, soon to be joined by a tittering Alice followed with a hugely smiling Jasper. Even Esme did not bother to hide her smile.

I was never going to live this down.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with your girl being on the rag, son. It is a completely natural, physiological process," Emmet commented in his best professor voice and promptly doubled over in laughter again.

A fresh chuckle, that of Carlisle joined in as he entered the foyer.

"Shut up!" I hissed through clenched teeth.

"Loosen up Edward, it was just a joke!"

_He's right you know. You're a hundred and twenty four years old. I had thought you might have gotten past your squeamishness after medical school._

"I'm not squeamish, Carlisle, however I do not particularly relish discussion on the topic," I replied.

"Well, I do have something to discuss with you. I need to hunt tonight. Would you care to accompany me?"

"You don't have to ask, Carlisle."

Carlisle had known me for the longest amongst all others and consequently was the best at keeping his thoughts from me. Unlike the others, who had to consciously focus on something, which required all their attention, Carlisle was much better at occluding his thoughts. But even Carlisle was not completely impervious to my talents and I knew he had something up his proverbial sleeve since he asked me to join in on his hunt.

We left after midnight and were deep in the forest in a few minutes. I relished the short run and the sense of freedom it afforded me.

I saw Carlisle dash towards a heard of deer, carefully analyzing each and every member before striking at the oldest doe present in the heard. I watched in morbid fascination as he swiftly snapped it's neck to avoid causing it any pain before drinking from it, reverently and apologetically.

Watching Carlisle hunt never ceased to amaze me. He was always so tender, so compassionate about it. Even when hunting, he never gave into his bloodlust. Even when we were at our weakest, when our control was most fraught, he put the animal's pain and suffering first.

He laid the carcass behind a dense bush with the respect afforded to a fallen friend. I had never seen him feed on more than one animal at a time no matter how small or unappetizing it might be. Emmet on the other hand could take down multiple grizzlies on a single trip.

Immaculate as ever, Carlisle motioned in the direction of our home.

_Let's walk back._

He was wondering how to start the conversation. Had it been anyone else, I would have asked him or her to simply spit it out. That was not an option with Carlisle.

_Thank you for writing that note for Anna. It was something I should have taken care of._

"How did you know?" Was he now suddenly developing mind reading abilities?

"Don't stretch your imagination too far, son. I saw Anna at the hospital again today."

Again?

"What was wrong with her? Did she have another fainting spell or was it because of her… other condition? She forgot to eat again didn't she? I made sure she had a good lunch but I can't keep watch on her all the time…"

_Calm down, son. It was nothing of the sort. She was perfectly fine, though she did mention her fainting spell and promised to eat right from now on._

"Then why was she at the hospital again? There's no way she can donate blood again…"

Instead of answering my question, again he let his thoughts flip through Anna's visit.

_Anna sitting in his office looking completely composed… walking the hallway… entering the I.C.U. where a small child lay covered in bandages… a large gift basket full of fruits, chocolates and toys with a card simply saying 'get well soon'… her looking down on the unconscious child with something akin to tenderness… her kissing her first two fingers and placing them on the child's forehead with a whispered 'blessed be'… quietly stepping out of the room and walking out of the hospital without another word to anyone._

"She was there to see the child she donated blood to."

_That is the strange part. She did not want to see the child._

"How can that be? She was there, she brought him gifts, and she said a prayer for him. Why would she come to the hospital in the first place then?

_She is indeed a most curious child. I can imagine how she must fascinate Jasper and frustrate you._

He thought of Anna with a fatherly indulgence.

"She came straight to my cabin and asked if I could pass on the gift to the child. Her only condition was that it be anonymous."

"I noticed there was no name on the basket."

"Precisely. She also wanted to ensure that details of her blood donation remain anonymous as well. She was also extremely concerned regarding the family's financial condition. She went as far as to offer taking care of all their medical bills, again, anonymously of course. She made me promise that I would contact her if they ran into any problems with insurance claims.

She also thanked me for sending a note about her condition through you. She must have thought that I sent it with you before hand since it was not possible for you to actually come to the hospital in the middle of classes to get it. Of course she had no idea you had forged it.

When I offered to take her to Robert's room personally to deliver her gift, she refused. It was like she was trying not to have any personal contact with the boy for whom she was doing so much. Only when I assured her that the mother was in physiotherapy and the child was asleep due to medication, did she agree to the idea."

My thoughts churned with the new information. It confirmed what I had initially thought about her. She was a loner. Only a loner would make such generous offers and yet like to stay anonymous. She was certainly caring; she had done enough by simply donating blood yet she went on to ensure further medical and economical safety for people whose names she barely knew. Another piece of Arianna Craft fell into place.

She hid a very tender and generous heart under her titanium like exterior.

I had to see her again.

**As we reached home, I hesitated to follow Carlisle in to the house. There was somewhere else I wanted to be. Carlsile, astute as he was, nodded.**

**_Go see her Edward_ he encouraged.**

**I gave him a slight smile as I rushed towards her home. I was overly cautious as I approached her home. After last night's visit with Jasper, I knew she was often awake, late into the night and I had no intention of being caught unawares.**

**The lights in her house were on, however there was no presence of anyone inside the house.**

**Again, I felt the panic rising in my chest. Where was she? As I listened carefully, I found her heartbeat, down the road from her house. What was she doing out at such an ungodly hour? I took off after her and soon found her sitting on a rock, at the edge of the forest, brooding.**

**Again, her actions left me at sea.**

**Weren't humans supposed to be afraid of the dark and the unknown? Weren't little girls told stories of the big bad wolf that would come and get them if they wandered in the woods alone?**

**As she sat there, unknowing of her audience, I though of how apt the story of the bad wolf was in this case. She sat there, docilely, lost in thoughts, her melancholy as obvious as the swaying fir trees behind her, with no idea about what a dangerous creature had become interested in her.**

**Being acutely aware of the wrongness of my actions did not deter me from drinking in the sight in front of me. Looking at her through other's minds, or surrounded by people in the cafeteria was not enough. It was here, as she sat unguarded, her shields withdrawn did I feel like I was really seeing her.**

**Her emotions were changing rapidly as her mind flitted from one thought to another and I continued to watch her, fascinated by the way her face would change in tandem to her thoughts and emotions.**

**As time progressed, the temperature started dropping but she showed no signs of noticing the unfavorable change in the weather. Finally, a cold gust of air seems to break her out of her thoughts.**

**Instinctively, she clutched her jacket tighter as she slowly moved her frozen limbs. Finally, her human instincts kick in as feel her fear mount. Her scent becomes even sweeter, singing to me, beckoning me as she moves unsteadily towards her home.**

**I walk with her, knowing her human eyes would not be able to make out my form and wait outside her home for her to fall asleep. My morals and principles had taken a back seat as far as Anna was concerned and I unabashedly admitted to myself that I was just waiting for an opportunity to steal into her home like a thief as she slept.**

**This was the only time I could see her to my heart's content, feel her warmth radiate off her body and fill my lungs with her saccharine scent.**

**When finally her breathing evened out, I entered the house from an open window and made my way to the room from which her heart beat and scent called me.**

**She lay there on the huge bed, nestled among soft pillows and downy comforters, the silk of her gown whispering against her satin smooth skin. In repose, she looked like a fairy princess from the stories of the old.**

**Being the selfish creature that I was, I did not even attempt to stop myself as I walked towards her and with a touch as soft as a moth's fluttering wings, touched her forehead to whisper the words she herself had spoken, not so long ago.**

**"Blessed be."**

**

* * *

ArPOV**

I started drying and putting away the dishes and pots and pans I had used for dinner today. I had been extra careful to include lots of leafy vegetables and had frozen fruits for desert. It was a good dinner.

I felt much better after having talked to Dr. Cullen this afternoon. He had reassured me about Robert's continued improvement and also had confirmed that he had sent a note regarding me with Edward, asking him to help me out if the need arose. I was very much grateful for his thoughtfulness.

I looked at the time. 1:35 a.m.; still no sleep. After the couple of weeks in this empty house, I was beginning to feel claustrophobic late at night when sleep would be elusive. I decided to go for a walk. Thankfully, it wasn't raining, storming or snowing at the moment.

I pulled on my jacket and left after locking the front door.

I walked on the perpetually wet road but the skies were surprisingly clear with a million twinkling starts. I smiled as I fondly remembered late nights, sneaking out from my bedroom to the open lawns of the mansion in London, to try and count all the stars out there. I felt my heart grow warm with the memory of the boy who would always be lying by my side on the soft, moist grass on those nights.

He was the one who always remembered to bring the blanket and extra jacket since I had been too spontaneous then to plan ahead of time. But the times had changed and so had I. I spotted a large rock off the road, just at the fringe of the forest and sat down on it.

I breathed in the cool, crisp air and enjoyed the night. Always, the nighttime soothed me. As a child I thought of the night as a time when faeries visited in my dreams. Later on, it simply became a sanctuary when the oppression of being unwanted in my grandfather's house was lifted for a while. During the night, I did not have to pretend, during the night, I could be _me._

Listening to the song of the crickets, I felt peace. I thought of the nights of summer solstice or midsummer spent in Spain with my parents. I remembered being mesmerized by looking into the flickering flames of the large bonfires and felt magic in the air along with the mild fragrance of summer.

As time had passed, the memory of my parents had faded however, I still remembered bits and pieces of the life I once had and clung to them as hard as I could. I could recall my father carrying me on his strong broad shoulders, walking down the beach hand in hand with my mother or mami as I called her in Spanish. Mami was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

She had glossy black hair, sun burnished skin, the most perfect teeth and a most charming smile. I could swear I heard bells ring every time she laughed. My father or papa was the quintessential British man with crisp brown hair, pale ivory skin and deep black eyes, the same as my mother. They told me they had eyes the same color because it reflected their love. They had been so different and yet felt like two halves of the same being.

Mami was full of life. I remember waking up in the mornings to the tune of her humming. I loved the scent of her skin- it was not the smell of her soap or perfume, it was just her, warm, sweet and fragrant- as she kissed me good morning every day. I remembered my father watching her with adoration in his eyes as her called her 'mia cara' in Italian.

Life had been so simple and yet so full then. I was home schooled while moving with my parents from one place to another every few weeks. I had once thrown a particularly bad tantrum, complaining about how we never stayed in one place and how I was unable to make any permanent friends. That was when my parents had introduced me to the world of books and music. They had told me that the world was huge, that there was so much to see and over the years, like my parents, I had fallen prey to the wanderlust. I loved moving to new places, meeting new people, observing how different people can be and yet remain essentially the same.

Papa had been the quiet one. In his presence, silence could turn into a meaningful conversation. For me, he was invincible, my rock of support. Somehow, even when I was alone, I could feel him watching me, feeling safe in his presence, knowing that nothing could harm me in his presence. He always called me 'mia stella' or my star. He would tell me I was the twinkling star of his life and I used to feel such pleasure at being such an important person to him. He was my hero.

On clear nights, he would take me out to the fields and point out the various constellations in the sky. He would point out the north star and say that was where I came from, that I was a princess descended from the heavens to guide him through his life. Mami always had this strange look in her eyes whenever papa said something like this and unspoken words would pass between them. I never paid attention to such exchanges, I was a child who was loved and was happy. What more was there to life?

But life had caught up with my fairy tale the night we met with the car accident. I remembered being jostled violently in the backseat of the car and then simply waking up in the hospital where I was informed of my parents demise. I had been bundled off to London to my paternal grandfather and then life had begun. And it had been cold and ruthless and unforgiving.

I shivered as a rather strong gust of wind blew by, the trees looking like dark sentinels as they swayed gently. A chill crept down my spine and suddenly, the silence of the night was no longer a comfortable companion. Abruptly, the darkness and the silence turned sinister and oppressive.

My breath came out in misty puffs and I wondered when it had turned so cold. It felt like the elements were warning me of something, something that wasn't right, something that was out of balance. It was nature's way of telling me I was no longer welcome in it's midst and I stood up on my stiff limbs and made my way back home. All the way back, I had this strange tingling sensation at the back of my neck like invisible eyes were watching my every move.

It was downright frightening.

That night in my fitful sleep, I dreamed of golden eyes, cool touches and whispered benedictions.

**

* * *

Author's note:** It's been a long chapter. Written in bold is the part from EPOV which I added during revising the story. I was very tempted to add the part and gave in, let me know what you think.

Next update coming soon.

Love,

Katty.


	11. Chapter 10: The Cullen Family

**ArPOV**

"Did you hear?" Stacie ran up to me in the parking lot, breathless with excitement.

"All I can hear is you panting! Calm down, what's the big news?"

"The school board as agreed to hold an autumn ball! They just announced it, it's in three weeks! Everybody's talking about it. It's the biggest event apart from the prom!" she gasped.

And suddenly, the excitement died down in her eyes.

"But you can only go if you have a date," she mumbled dejectedly.

"So? We'll find you a date. You will definitely go to this ball, and you will enjoy yourself." I promised her.

"Yeah, we'll see," she added in a non-committal fashion as we made our way to the days classes.

"But anyway, you most certainly have to go and let me in on all the fun things you do! Promise me you'll snap lots of pictures and tell me all about it!" she begged.

"What are you talking about? I most certainly am not going to this infernal ball. I mean, why in the world would I want to spend an evening on a crowded dance floor where people do everything but dance?" I asked, mystified.

Stacie looked horrified at the suggestion that I might not go to the ball.

"But you must!" she shrieked. "You must, you must, you must go! Edward will ask you to go and I'll help you pick out a dress and you're going to look so beautiful together and it'll be perfect! You can't ruin a perfect evening like that! Promise me, promise me you'll go. I am going to enjoy the dance vicariously through you. You have to go!" she was close to hyperventilating by the time she finished.

I decided that now was not the time to correct all her assumptions and enlighten her about my hatred of crowded places so I decided to call a truce.

"Look Stacie, why don't we discuss all this during lunch? We're both going to be late if we don't give this up right now," I reasoned.

"OK, but we will discuss this during lunch", she threatened as she turned away towards her Spanish class as I moved towards American History.

I enjoyed the on going lessons on the civil war and listened with rapt attention as the teacher went into the intricacies of the political scenario during that time. I had always enjoyed history, especially stories of wars and revolutions. When I had gotten caught with a book on the First World War, I had been given a stern talking to by my grandfather, telling me wars and such _uncouth_events were not meant to studied by ladies.

I had managed to keep up with algebra and physical chemistry when it was time for lunch again and I was faced with the dilemma of facing Stacie's enthusiasm again. As I entered the lunchroom, I noticed a rowdy group of boys suddenly grow quiet as they eyed me curiously. I decided to ignore them.

Stacie was already sitting at our regular table, for once, completely uninterested in her food as she bounced in her seat. I took extra time in picking my lunch and reluctantly made my way to the lunch table.

"Took you long enough!" she hissed as I sat down. "Do you have any idea what has happened today since that announcement of the dance in the morning?"

"No, I have no idea, though I do know you will enlighten me soon enough," I stated dryly as I bit off a piece of my sandwich.

"You are the most ignorant girl I know of," she huffed before she continued. "I need to warn you about what's to come," she began ominously.

"Fiona…"

"Not that drama queen again!" I moaned.

"Shhh… don't interrupt me! Fiona and her current boyfriend Cooper broke up over you!"

"What? How can they break up over me? I don't even know what guy you're talking about!"

"Like I said, completely ignorant!" she continued. "Did you see that group of guys watching you when you came in just now?"

I nodded.

"Well, that was the football team and Cooper is the quarter back!" she looked at me expectantly as if that explained everything.

"So…"

She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"So, Cooper broke up with Fiona because he wants to ask you to the ball! And I have it from reliable sources that Fiona has already announced that she and Edward Cullen will be going to the ball together and that she was going to dump Cooper anyway! She went far enough to say that she had been seeing Edward since the past several weeks and was trying to let Coop down easy!" she continued non-stop with wide eyes.

"I still don't understand what any of this has to do with me."

Stacie looked at me as though I had completely lost my mind.

"What does this have to do with you? Are you crazy, girl? It has everything to do with you! First, Cooper will be asking you to the ball sometime today, so you need to decide if you want to go with him. If not, there'll be a whole string of guys waiting to ask you if you refuse him. Coop being the quarterback is like being royalty here. Right now, everyone's waiting for him to stake his claim on you, if you refuse, you'll have to decide whom you want to go out with. Secondly, this means that there's going to be an all out war between you and Fiona and she is going to do her best to steal Edward from you. Thirdly, you need to decide if you want to continue with Edward, if yes, you better stake your claim on him before Fiona sinks her claws into him!" she looked at me with an urgency that might suggest that the world was on the brink of the third world war.

"First things first, there's nothing to continue with Edward. We are colleagues at best, acquaintances at worst so that's that. Secondly, I don't give a damn about what Fiona thinks or what childish pranks she might pull. Thirdly, I don't know who this Cooper character is, nor do I care. I am not interested in going to that thrice damned ball, not with Cooper whoever, not with Edward, not with Prince Charles himself, so there!" I shouted.

Stacie looked like I had refused the Nobel prize which was offered to me.

"But…but, you can't do nothing!" she exclaimed.

"As a matter of fact I can, I happen to be quite good at it," I added haughtily.

"You are so in over your head with this," she warned.

"Whoa! Don't look now but Cullen seems to be coming up to talk to you…" she trailed off as she pretended to focus on her lunch.

I really had no idea why, but suddenly my heart started trying to jump out of my chest. Was Edward really going to ask me to be his date? What was I going to say? Do I say yes or no? If I said no, would he go with that vile Fiona? What was wrong with me…

"Hey Anna!" a smooth voice drawled from behind me.

I gulped and turned.

"Jasper! Hey!" I gasped.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Umm… no, go right ahead."

"Hey Stacie!" he added as he sat down.

Stacie's eyes widened as she choked on her orange juice and started coughing violently. I thumped her on the back a couple of times.

"Hey… umm…sorry…umm…hi!" she stammered. Honestly, I did not blame her.

"So, you heard about all this news about the autumn ball?" he asked casually.

"Yeah, seems like a big deal. People just can't seem to stop talking about it," I threw Stacie a glance but she continued to stare at Jasper like he was a statue who had come to life.

"Must be a big deal for you. First dance in new school and all," he prodded.

I couldn't for the life of me understand where he was going with this, but something told me I was not going to like it.

I just gave him a bland "Yeah, I guess".

"Well then, seems like I should get to the point. Would to care to go to the autumn ball with me?" he asked looking point blank in my eyes.

I would have started choking and coughing as well, but blessedly my food pipe was empty then, and so the air from my lungs simply wheezed out as I stared at him.

"What?"

"Would you care be my date for the autumn ball?" he asked again, patiently.

I gaped at him unattractively as I tried to figure out where this came from. I turned to Stacie for some inspiration but she looked ready to faint. It seemed I had to do this on my own.

"But, why?" I asked stupidly.

Something akin to amusement flickered in his golden eyes as he smiled at me.

"Well Anna, I don't know how they do things where you come from but here, it is tradition that a guy asks a girl to accompany him when a dance is announced and you are a girl as far as I can tell," he said in mock seriousness.

My anger flared at his frivolous attitude.

"Oh really? And does tradition dictate for you to ask a girl to the dance who most certainly is _not_ the one you are in a relationship with, who you also don't happen to share a home with?" I asked venomously.

Jasper seemed to stiffen as though I had punched him.

"Please don't misunderstand me, Anna. I love Alice and we've never tried to hide our relationship. I simply wanted to go to the ball with you as friends and nothing else. I apologize if I have offended you in any way," his words dripped with sincerity and I could see the truth in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," I apologized "but I don't understand why you would want to go with someone other than Alice. You two seem perfect together."

He smiled another of his breathtaking smiles.

"Actually, it was Alice's idea that we go with different people. As you know, we live together and she just wanted to do things a bit this differently this time. Like I said, it would be my honor if I could escort you to the dance as your friend."

"Well, I am glad you thought of me but am not really that interested in going to dances and I really abhor crowds…" I started when I was rudely interrupted.

"Hey there Babe!"

I looked up to find a blonde haired, blue-eyed jock leaning against the table with a cocky attitude.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"You're new around here so you probably don't know me, sugar. I'm Cooper Stanley, but people who love me call me Coop. I'm the quarterback on the football team," he said giving me, what he clearly thought was a winning smile.

"And?" I asked coldly, hoping he would take the clue to leave me alone.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you not to worry, 'cause I'll be taking you to the autumn ball. Can't have a pretty little thing like yourself worrying herself about a date now, can we? Don't you worry at all, I'll be taking really good care of you from now on," he drawled.

By this time, it seemed that the entire cafeteria was watching us with bated breath. I was finding it difficult to not slap the arrogant pig in front of every one. Wanting to keep the peace, I decided on the coward's way out.

"Thank you very much for the offer, but I am going to the dance with Jasper," I replied in a tone which brooked no argument but it seemed that the nitwit would simply not take a hint.

He turned to look at Jasper as if only just noticing the fact that he was sitting at our table and gave him a hostile glare and I felt guilty for having dragged him into this situation. I turned to the Cullen's table hoping to catch Alice's eyes and somehow convey my contrition. She seemed to have been waiting for me to look at her and as soon as our eyes met, she gave me a dazzling thousand mega-watt smile with a thumbs up sign.

I smiled back; glad there was no bad blood between us regarding the current situation. Edward on the other hand was sitting beside her with his head bowed so I couldn't see his expression but he seemed to be sitting on the edge of his seat and his body was stiff, like a bow string pulled taut. He seemed to be laboring under some enormous strain but I couldn't for the life of me imagine what it was.

As I turned back to the situation at my table, I saw that the jock continued to throw hateful glances towards Jasper while he smiled coolly back at him.

"If there's nothing else?" I asked in a tone that clearly meant that he should leave.

"You're making a big mistake, babe. You just don't say no to Coop, the king," he threatened.

I snorted. I couldn't help it considering his lame lines.

"There's always a first time," I said by way of dismissing him and he finally stalked off.

"That was unpleasant," I spoke as I tried to break the tension which had settled over us.

Jasper gave me a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about it. He is just full of hot air and nothing else."

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess."

"Please don't worry about it. Like I said, it's no big deal. I'll take your leave now," he said standing up. "We'll work out the details of the dance later on. Oh and let me warn you, Alice will insist on going shopping together," he warned as he moved away.

"Thanks!" I called after him.

He turned to give me a final smile as he left the room with Alice by his side. As I turned back to my food, I caught sight of Edward sitting alone at the table and this time he was staring straight at me. Somehow, I thought he held an accusatory look in his eyes.

I could feel the onset of a massive headache.

Stacie sat in front of me as if stupefied.

"Say something!" I snapped at her.

"You refused Cooper," she said in a daze.

"Yes".

"And you're not going with Edward Cullen."

"Yes".

"You're going with Jasper Cullen."

"Yes."

"But he already has Alice as a girlfriend!"

I buried my face in my hands.

XXX XXX XXX XXX

The headache had not abated for the rest of the day and I stood under the showers in the locker rooms for an extra while hoping the hot water might reduce it. No luck there. Gym had been fraught with tension with Fiona throwing villainous looks my way and Cooper eying me malevolently. All in all, I was just glad the day was over.

As I walked out of the locker room, I wondered how I had gotten so embroiled in a feud, which revolved around a dance I did not want to attend in the first place. Lost in my thoughts, I collided with someone standing in the doorway of the locker room.

As I righted my balance, I found myself staring into the cold blue eyes of Cooper Stanley, who at the moment was sporting a rather twisted smile on his face.

"So you think it's fun to play hard to get, do ya?" he asked, blocking the door with his massive frame as he invaded my personal space.

I had little patience due to my throbbing headache and I was not about to argue with the fool.

"Step aside and let me pass," I commanded as calmly as I could. There was no sound from outside and I knew the corridors must be deserted as school had ended a good twenty minutes ago.

He face further contorted as he grabbed my hips in a bruising grip and sneered in my face, "what's the hurry, sugar? Let's get to know each other better, shall we?"

I lost control on my anger as I smacked his face with all my might and the slap echoed in the empty halls. He staggered back, momentarily stunned by the blow. His lip was bleeding from where I had struck him.

For a moment, I thought he might have come to his senses but then I saw an animal rage in his eyes as he rushed towards me, hand fisted to punch me.

Then a lot of things happened simultaneously.

I ducked on instinct to avoid his blow and something fast blurred by me; suddenly, Coop was gone. As I moved into the hallway, I was shocked to see Edward Cullen had pinned Cooper against the wall, his hand on Cooper's neck in a death grip.

**EPOV:**

Red.

I could see nothing but red. Fury like I never knew coursed through me as I pinned that foul creature to the wall.

It would be so easy, just a little flex of my fingers would snap his neck and it would all be over and the world would be rid of a huge burden.

I could hear him gasping and choking, his heartbeat and adrenaline levels increasing. He was trying to pry my hand off using both his hands, his legs kicking and flailing. The monster in me took over, the trickle of blood from his mouth calling to me, but I would never sully myself with vermin like him. No, I wanted to watch as the light slowly left his eyes.

He had dared to touch her, to try and defile her and he would pay with his life. I tightened my fingers around his neck, infinitesimally.

"Edward! Let go of him! You'll choke him to death!" came her voice. Roughened from fear, it sounded like silk caught in a bramble of thistles. I focused on her voice, though I didn't let go of the boy.

Now she stood beside me, her sweet scent swirling around me, her body like a lava lamp beside me.

"Edward, please. You need to let go. He isn't worth it," she pleaded with me. Calm washed over me as her heart beat slowed slightly, falling into a regular rhythm.

_Thump, thump, thump, thump…_

The most inviting sound in the world.

I loosened my grip slightly as he drew in a gasping breath, but I let go of him completely when she touched me.

Heat seared through my jacket-clad shoulder where she had placed an elegant hand. As the warmth spread through my body, the roaring monster took a back seat as my senses came back.

I had been about to kill someone in a fit of rage.

_It isn't someone_! the monster protested, _he touched what was yours, he tried to hurt her!_

_Mine_ I agreed.

_Mine, mine, mine._

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the thoughts that would most certainly make me kill him. I needed to leave before the anger came back and I killed him in front of Anna.

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her with me, without looking back. I needed her to be close to me, she was the only thing that was keeping me sane.

Rushing towards the parking lot, I pushed her into the passenger seat of the Volvo. I got in and drove off.

Her scent filled the car in just a few moments, freesia and lavender… sweet, so sweet. The fire raged at the back of my throat, burning and scorching but the monster remained in control.

I greedily gulped in the air saturated with her scent. Gripping the steering wheel too tight, the residue of my anger still lingering within me.

I drove from sheer memory, not really seeing the road. I simply needed to get away from the school before I turned back.

She sat beside me, quietly, relaxed and composed, looking out of the window. She radiated calm and peace. How could she remain so cool when she had just been molested?

Again my anger started rising, mad at her for being so calm, for taking things so lightly, for putting herself in a situation where she could have been hurt. Again my breathing grew erratic, my grip on the wheel tightening to a point where it would crack under the pressure.

I was in no condition to be driving. Unseeing, I braked hard, pulling the keys out of ignition. I lay my head on the steering wheel in front of me, trying to regulate my breathing, trying to regain some sort of control.

In my dilemma, I did not see her move. Gentle fingers raked through my messy hair, scraping my scalp along the way.

"Shhh…" she crooned, "it's ok, and it's over. Just breathe, calm down."

I did as she told me. I filled my lungs with her essence, as waves of calm crashed into me from her, the _thump, thump_ of her heart a soothing lullaby to my ears, as her fingers continued to run through my hair.

I lifted my head to look at her and she gave me a beautiful smile.

"Feel better?" she asked.

Before I could answer, Alice's mental scream pierced my mind.

_Edward, you idiot! Were you trying to scare her to death?_

Even before she finished her mental rant, she came into view, walking hand in hand with Jasper.

That was when I realized that I had ended up just a few meters away from the driveway of our home, right in the middle of the forest. In my insanity, I had driven Anna to the one place where she never should have been. She would have been safer in that school with that maniac than with a houseful of vampires.

I wondered if I could simply take off with her and drop her off to her home but again, Alice wouldn't allow me to do that.

_Don't you dare Edward Cullen!_She hissed mentally. _She's already here and Esme is dying to meet her. You are the one who brought her here, besides, we have a lot to discuss about the ball_, she smirked.

I felt my anger rise again but was interrupted by Anna.

"What are Alice and Jasper doing her? And why are we in the middle of a forest?"

_Calm down, Edward. It seems this is the only thing I am telling you to do these days. Whatever happened, your anger is not helping it. Alice completely freaked out when she saw what had happened_Jasper chastised me.

I took another deep breath as Alice opened the passenger side door.

"Hey! I'm so glad you came over. We have a lot to discuss about the dance and we really need to plan a shopping trip for getting our dresses and accessories! Come on, Esme will love to see you."

"Alice, what are you doing here? And we're in the middle of the forest…" she threw questioning glances towards Alice and Jasper.

"Didn't Edward tell you? We live just around the bend, Jazz and I were out for a stroll" she said throwing me a pointed look.

_Just keep your mouth shut and I'll handle the rest,_ she warned.

"Come, let's walk back. Edward can park the car," she added flippantly as she took Anna's hand and led her towards the house.

My eyes widened when I saw their casual touch, especially since Anna didn't seem to react in anyway to Alice's cold touch.

Jasper gave me a knowing smirk before blocking his thoughts about what was going on. I had to grind my teeth together in frustration as I started the car to park it in our huge garage.

What was Alice up to?

**ArPOV:**

My head was still swimming with the events of the past half-hour when Alice dragged me through the forest to her home. I tuned her out as she chattered incessantly beside me while Jasper continued to walk in brooding silence.

I had been molested. And Coop would have probably done worse if Edward had not arrived. Sure, I could have fought and scratched my way out of it, probably. But the mere presence of someone else, someone in my support was a relief. Especially since that someone was capable of pinning that monstrosity of a football player to the wall with just one hand.

I shuddered slightly when I remembered the look on Edward's face when he held back Coop. It was a murderous expression, and I was so glad that I had not been at the receiving end of it. The unreserved ferocity of his expression had forced me to forget my own anger and fear, in order to calm him down. I was sure that had I not been present, he would have strangled Cooper to his death.

Even after he let go of Cooper, his painful grip on my wrist, his tense posture in the car, his erratic breathing had scared me. I knew, for both our sakes, that I needed to remain calm. In the car, when he was driving at over a hundred and ten miles per hour, I willed him to calm down.

In any other situation, I would have wanted to run away from such a maniac, but I couldn't. Not when I knew that the cause of his explosive reaction had been my safety. When he had abruptly stopped in the middle of the forest, instead of panicking, I had been overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to soothe his anguish. And so that what exactly what I did, or at least tried to do.

But, lo and behold! Next we have Alice and Jasper strolling towards us, as if taking a walk in the jungle was the most natural thing to do for today's teenagers. Alice had completely dismissed Edward, even though I was doubtful if he was completely ok.

And so now, I was walking through a dense forest with people I barely knew, towards an unknown destination.

"Anna!"

I snapped out of my musings to find Alice giving me a piercing look.

"You haven't been listening to a word I said, have you?"

I gave her what I hoped was a sheepish grin.

"Uh, I was thinking of something else," I said in an apologetic tone.

"Something, or someone?" she asked me with a wicked grin.

Before I could answer her, after a sharp bend, we came to a halt in front of a magnificent work of modern architecture.

I couldn't keep the awe out of my voice as I asked, "This is where you live?"

Jasper grinned.

"Welcome home, darlin', do you like it?"

I stared at the huge mansion, which appeared to be made completely from glass and steel, it's construction and design which could shame any modern architect from London or New York.

"Do you have to ask?" I retorted, trying not to gape.

The modern building was in complete contrast with the nature by which it was surrounded. The entire house was completely surrounded by trees and vegetation on all sides, it would be invisible to anyone who did not know where to look for it.

"Carlisle and Esme like to stay in touch with nature," Alice said by way of explanation.

I nodded as I saw Edward emerge from a pair of double doors. Obviously there was another way into what must have been the garage. I paused slightly when I noticed that he looked like a thundercloud.

I wondered if he was still mad about what happened at school or was angry that I was visiting his home. Surely, he did not really _hate_me that much?

Like his brother had, Jasper opened the door for us girls and stood back to let us in. Inside, the house was done in tasteful interiors using the color while, lots of deep brown wood paneling and again a very lavish use of glass artifacts.

I was so busy looking around the house that I did not notice the demure woman standing quietly by the side. When I finally turned back, Alice introduced us.

"Anna, this is Esme. Esme, Anna. I told you about her and Jazz is going to take her to the autumn ball!"

I noticed that Esme had a kind, motherly face framed by caramel colored locks and her eyes were the same mysterious gold colored as everyone else in the family.

"Hello Anna, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," she said in a soft melodic voice. She seemed genuinely pleased to see me and her eyes seemed to sparkle with joy.

I complimented her on her lovely home as I shook hands with her and she seemed to have the same kind of hand as Alice. It was warm and smooth yet firm, to the extent, you would call it hard, like someone who did a lot of manual labor. Yet, the skin of her hands was smooth, perfect really. I wondered about it, but decided not to mention it lest it be considered rude.

"Alice, why don't you give Anna a tour of the house?" she asked and Alice gladly led me up the stairs.

The wall along the stairs was lined with several beautiful paintings and as I stopped to admire them, I caught sight of Edward downstairs with a scowl marring his perfect face, staring at Esme accusingly. Looking at their expressions, one would think they were having some kind of unspoken conversation.

Upstairs, Alice showed me the various rooms belonging to different people. She did not seem to mind sharing with me that she and Jasper as well as Emmet and Rosalie shared the same room. She indicated a closed door; informing me tat it was Carlisle's study. Then at the third floor, she brought me to another closed door, and turned to look at me like she was unveiling some secret.

"And this," she pointed "is Edward's room." She finished as she pushed open a door.

Although I did not want to invade his personal space, I couldn't help my curiosity and peeked into the room without entering it.

What I saw impressed me. The walls were liked with bookcase after bookcase. He also seemed to have what must have been the largest music collection I had ever seen. He had a bed, pushed into a corner of the room, like it was not the main focus of the room, much rather a prop. I also noticed that his room was incredibly clean, something I did not expect from a teenaged boy. There was no trash lying on the floor, no discarded cloths lying haphazardly, no gaudy posters of play girls or music bands covering the walls. The room was pristine.

"Come on in!" Alice insisted as she bounced around excitedly.

I wondered how someone so tiny could have so much of energy.

"No thanks, Alice. I don't think that's such a good idea."

She seemed to pause for a moment to consider my words and then shrugged her little shoulders.

"Doesn't matter," she smiled happily "I think it's best if we go to my room and work on our dresses for the ball!"

I really had no intensions of going shopping for anything. I was suddenly feeling very tired but I decided to humor her consider how friendly she was being.

We went into her room and she directly started rummaging in her wardrobe, which seemed to be as big as, if not bigger than her actual room. I noticed that both men's and women's clothes were lined neatly in it and felt a pang go through my heart.

What must it be like, to have that kind of intimacy with someone? What would that warmth, that comfort feel like to know that someone loved you unconditionally?

_You could have known what it feels like_, an evil voice spoke up in my head. _You could have had this, but no, you had to go and ruin everything. Your loneliness is your own fault. It is the cause of your rash actions and now you will suffer for all your life!_

I needed a distraction, before my thoughts got out of hand. I picked the first topic that came to my mind.

"Alice, why did Jasper ask me to the dance? I mean, it would be so much more perfect if he went with you."

Alice came out of the closet, arms laden with various gowns and dresses.

"Oh, Jasper and I have attended all our dances till date together. We've been together a long time you know, ever since Carlisle adopted us. I just decided that a change would be good for us."

"But this is the senior year, isn't it supposed to be really important and all?" I asked. I knew from what I had read that in the schooling system, the senior year held a lot of importance, not just academically but also socially.

"Not really. Jasper and I have kind of out grown all this school stuff. Been there, done that kind of a thing," she said with a smirk. Something told me she was leaving out some important detail, but I decided not to push it.

"Besides," she continued, "I really want Edward to go to this dance. He never attends these kind of events and this time he has to go since he's my date."

"Edward's your date for the dance?"

"Shhh… he doesn't know yet, but I am determined to take him to the dance this time. I'll drag him if I have to!" she declared with a stern expression on her little face.

I smiled at the mental picture her declaration generated. The idea of little Alice, physically forcing Edward to do anything was incredibly funny.

"I need to thank you, for going with Jazz, you know. God knows, I would have been unable to take Edward to the dance if Jasper couldn't have found a decent date for himself."

"You don't need to thank me, I was just wondering why the two of you would want to go with different people."

"Well, now you know" she sang.

I laughed at her antics.

"By the way, Alice. How long has Edward had eye sight problems?"

She whirled around, giving me an inscrutable look before she relaxed.

"I think he wore glasses since before he was adopted. He's always had weak eyesight. Unfortunately, he seemed to have a knack for breaking his glasses. He had broken about twenty pairs when Esme finally put her foot down and insisted he get contact lenses, though, he still detests wearing them and often skips them" she informed me.

That explained the color of his eyes today. Instead of his regular tawny colored eye, today he had pitch black eyes. In the commotion over Cooper, I had never gotten the chance to ask him about it. However, that still did not explain why every one in the family had the same unique eye color. How was it possible for two married people to adopt five different kids having the same eye color as theirs? This could not have been a coincidence, unless Dr. Cullen was a modern day Frankenstein collecting kids with pale faces and golden eyes.

Alice was exceptionally perceptive because she pulled me out of my thoughts by saying, "Go ahead, you look like you want to ask something."

I hesitated. Would it be rude of me to ask them about their eyes? Maybe it was a sensitive issue with them, considering they were all adopted and Dr. and Mrs. Cullen did not have their own kids.

"Alice, not to be rude or anything, but how come every one in your family has the same eye color? It cannot just be coincidence."

Instead of looking affronted, Alice looked excited to explain the mystery behind the golden eyes.

"It's a family thing really. It all started when Edward picked this color of lenses. When I saw how good they looked on him, I insisted I buy a pair in exactly the same color, just for fun. But, soon we had to move to a new city where people did not know our background and people commented on how alike the two of us looked, like real brother and sister. It sort of symbolized our bond" she explained.

"Soon, Emmet and Rose also insisted on wearing similar lenses. It was something visible, tangible to show that we were related to each other, like a real family. I know it can sound silly, but when you come from as varied backgrounds as us, each from a different part of the nation, the need to belong somewhere becomes very strong. Soon, all of us started wearing the same colored lenses, as a part of being a member of the Cullen family. It made us all feel bonded, despite not being related by blood."

She looked at me with a wary face.

"Do you think we are crazy?" she asked.

Stunned, I shook my head. That was probably the sweetest thing I had ever heard. Being orphaned, I knew how acute the need to belong somewhere, with someone could be. The idea of a family like theirs overwhelmed me. I now had an idea of how close this family really was.

"I think it's wonderful. I've never heard of anything like it, but I can understand where you're coming from."

She gave me a dazzling smile, but I could feel the weariness overwhelm me. More than anything, I also longed to belong somewhere like them. I decided I needed to go home. Alice was saying something about a shopping trip but I cut her short.

"Alice, this has been a wonderful visit, but I really need to get going. I have a lot of homework to do and frankly, I don't really enjoy shopping a lot. I usually order whatever I need on the Internet."

At her crestfallen look, I hastily added.

"But I am sure I would enjoy it if I had your company. But let's discuss this tomorrow, if that's ok with you?" I really hoped that she wouldn't press the issue at the moment.

"Ok," she said happily, " we can plan every thing tomorrow, but not later than that! We barely have any time left," she added in a stern voice.

As we descended the stairs, I saw that Dr. Cullen was back from the hospital and he seemed to be in the middle of an argument with Edward. Mrs. Cullen was standing quietly by Dr. Cullen's side while Jasper was nowhere to be found.

Edward once again seemed to be in a foul mood and Dr. Cullen stood there with a resolute expression on his face. As so as we came into view, they tried to rearrange their faces into a more pleasant appearance.

"Anna, I was just about to call the two of you for tea and some snacks," Esme said.

I could feel the tension in the air, and I wanted nothing more than to leave the place as unobtrusively as possible. I had no intention of witnessing their private disagreements. For a moment, a horrible thought came to my mind. Had somehow word of what happened with Copper today at school reached Dr. Cullen? Did Cooper suffer any serious injuries for which he needed to be hospitalized?

"No, thank you Mrs. Cullen. I was about to leave. I have some… errands I need to run, and they can't be put off any longer, but thank you so much, I really enjoyed my visit."

"Please call me Esme, dear. And it was wonderful to meet you. Do come over again soon. I'm sure Edward and Alice would appreciate the company."

At precisely that moment, Edward looked like he couldn't possibly stand the company of his own shadow.

"Anna, it's good to see you again," Dr. Cullen wished with a smile on his face, which slowly slipped away into a frown.

"I think I had better take a look at your wrist," he said as he moved towards me.

Confused, I looked at my wrists and to my horror; I found that my left wrist was covered in blue-black bruises from where Edward had gripped it as he pulled me out of the school. I could clearly see the imprint of his fingers distinctively on my wrist. Sure, I thought he had a firm grip and he had exerted a bit more strength than required due to his anger, but this was not something I had expected.

Gently, he took hold of my wrist and I gasped. His fingers were ice cold. He grimaced slightly and apologized.

"I'm sorry, I had been rummaging around in the freezer for something."

I nodded as he continued to turn my wrist this way and that, looking for broken bones.

"Well, it seems that it's just badly bruised, nothings broken. If you experience pain, try using an ice pack. The bruising should go down in a couple of days."

He gave me an unfathomable look as he asked me the question I had been dreading.

"How exactly did this happen?"

I saw Edward stiffen, and he had a tortured look on his face. He wouldn't meet my eyes. I wanted nothing more than to take away that pain on his face. Did he think I would complain to his parents? Did he think I would blame him for the bruises?

Knowing that Dr. Cullen was still waiting for an answer, I decided on the only viable option. I decided to lie through my teeth.

"I banged it on the door frame when I slipped in the bathroom this morning."

I knew he could see the fingerprints as clearly as I could and I was not fooling him with my lie, but I looked in his eyes unblinkingly, clearly conveying the message that this topic was not open for discussion.

Slowly, he nodded.

"Well, I hope you're more careful in the future. You've not had any more fainting spells or weakness, have you?" he asked, ever the consummate doctor.

Why did he have to mention that in front of Edward?

"No, I've been fine, Dr. Cullen. Thank you."

"Well, I'm glad to have seen you and hope you'll come to visit again."

I smiled, not wanting to give him a verbal answer. If Edward did not like my coming to his home, there was no way I was coming back again.

"Alice, could you give me a few directions about how to get to the main road from here? I'm not sure I remember the way we came and I don't want to get lost in the forest."

"No problem darlin'," Jasper entered the room, "let me just drive you back myself."

"No!" came the near shout, before I could manage to answer.

Everyone, including me turned to Edward at his outburst.

I saw anger leave his eyes as embarrassment took over on his face.

"I mean, I can drive Anna back," he mumbled, looking at the floor, "that is if you want," he finished as he finally looked at me askance.

The pain, longing and ache in his eyes left me speechless once again. The boy was an enigma; I simply couldn't figure him out. One moment he could be friendly, the next furious and then he could be contrite before becoming arrogant again. There was no telling what went on in his head.

I nodded my assent and hurriedly left the house with a "see you later" in the general direction of Alice and Jasper.

In an instant, Edward had the Volvo up and running, before he got out to open the passenger door before I could reach it my self. As he closed the door and moved around the car to get in, I wondered what was to come next on the roller coaster ride with Edward Cullen.

**Author's note:** Well, I know you'll love Edward kicking Coop's ass. How'd you like the whole interaction between Arianna and the Cullen family?

This is the last chapter I had to update after revising. Tomorrow, you will have a fresh update. Thank you all for your love and support. Leave a review!

Love,

Katty.


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